Give it up. I won't comfort you.

/December 2022


not long ago I received a message from a reader, which roughly means:

he finally made up his mind to study graphic design, starting with the simplest PS matting, and now try to make some simple posters. At the same time, he has set up a feedback mechanism for himself, that is, no matter how good he is, he will post his work in his moments. Up to now, he has been holding on for nearly two months, but slowly, people in his circle of friends seem to be "immune" to his work. There are fewer and fewer people giving likes and opinions, and even voices of opposition begin to appear. Some friends said to him privately, "you are really not this material. Give it up."

he was not convinced and sent his work to the idol he had worshipped for a long time. The other side said, "actually, it's quite ugly, but keep going."

he said he didn't know if he should stick to it. He asked me, "is it really ugly?" Do I really have no talent? "

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I opened his moments, looked around, then went back to the chat interface and asked him, "if I said you really had no talent, would you give up?"

he said: "Yes, your opinion with XX (the designer) is very important to me. If you all think that I should not continue, then admit it. Maybe I am really not the material."

"then give up, I won't comfort you." I replied.


I know an author who worked in a foreign company before she was officially written.

once we had dinner together and talked about office politics. "when I first worked, I cried every day," she said. At that time, I was in charge of publicity, because I was the bottom one, so any mistakes would be blamed on me by my superiors, and they would keep stabbing you in the back even though they were very nice in normal times. "

I asked her, "so that's why you decided to resign?"

she said: "No, office politics and my resignation are two different things. I quit because I think I can live a 'pretty good' life by writing."

she told us about the days when she was going to resign, which was as difficult as it was when she first went to work.

my family scolds me every day, not only my parents, but also my three aunts and six aunts who haven't been in touch for a long time. When she saw a strange phone call during that time, she didn't know whether to answer it or not. To answer it, she had to repeat the decision she had said countless times, not to answer it. It was also impolite as a younger generation.

in addition, colleagues at that time also made no secret of their "not optimistic" and kindly advised her to "don't be impulsive."

she seems to have become the most isolated person in the world, writing silently while bearing the incomprehension of the people around her. She said to me meaningfully, "you are lucky. If you find something you like after working, you will encounter my dilemma."

until one morning, she went to the radio for an interview, and at the end of the interview, she received a message from her father: "I heard your radio show, and it was good."

after the show, she went back to the car and cried on the steering wheel for a long time. She said it was the first time she had been admitted since she resigned.


she told me that "the harder you work, the luckier you are" is a results-oriented slogan. We don't get lucky because we work hard. On the contrary, at the beginning of our efforts, the people around us don't understand and the blow that comes out of it will suddenly come out.

because people always use habitual thinking and empiricism to judge a person's future, when they are used to you being an "ordinary person", your ideas that seem less common will be considered "whimsical".

so why do successful people say, "the most difficult times are often the times of the fastest progress", because the difficulties are not only our struggle with the future, but also our lack of understanding with the people around us, and the struggle with the resulting self-doubt.

not only do you have to throw fists at your opponent, but you also have to bear boos and eyes from your teammates, and you have to always pay attention to your own situation, in case you are instantly relaxed by your opponent with a hook, and then fall on the ring. Listen to the people around you say to you: "I told you not to fight, why didn't you listen to me?"

and even if you win, you will find that you are the only one cheering because the real boxing match has just begun.


Last week, our class organized a graduation trip early, and we went to Beihai. The night I came back from Beihai, I chatted with my roommates until more than 4 o'clock in the evening.

ridiculously, this is the only real late-night conversation in the three years we've known each other. In our previous life, we never talked about life, we talked about all the game routines, or we talked about which girl on the road looked beautiful. Even if we sometimes go for a drink together, we will avoid getting drunk because we are afraid to say something out of our mind and make everyone feel embarrassed.

but we all seem to realize that the end of the graduation trip means that we are getting closer and closer to graduation. Although we are not so pretentious as to be reluctant to leave each other, we also know that we will probably never see each other again after graduation.

he said that night, "in fact, I envy you, know what you like, and can live on it."

he added that his family actually helped him find a job, as long as he said which position he wanted to do, as long as it was not too difficult, but he didn't even know what he wanted to do.

I asked, "in fact, you don't even know what position you have."

he didn't speak.

I asked him a question at this time a year ago: "Have you ever thought about what you like? " He told me that he had thought about it, but it was too late to pursue it now. I had an argument with him, and I don't think it's too late to start a thing. But he kept repeating: "forget it, it's too late."

A year later, we finally talked about it again, and I asked him if he remembered the "like" questions I asked last year. He sighed and said, "I always remember."

"but a year later, you still haven't done anything." I debunked him.

"do you think it's not too late?" He asked me word by word.

in fact, I know that every time someone asks me this kind of question, I already have my own answer in my heart. At the same time, he also knows that my answer is "it's not too late." it's just that people are so strange that they can't wait to get the support of the people around them before doing something.

it seems that as long as they support it, success will come naturally.

isn't it easy to say a word of encouragement, but after that, those who will work hard will already be on their way, while those who can only yell will only continue to worry about themselves.

if you really know what you want to do, other people's opinions are really just opinions, and you won't care about them at all. Whether it's bad words or no bottom line of flattery, you know what you should and shouldn't do at the moment.

the next mark is a straight punch or a right hook aimed at the chin.

you already know it.

so that night, I didn't say "it's too late". I just asked him:

"if I said'it's too late', would you give up? If that's the case, it's too late. "

"but you never know if this punch is someone else or yourself"

"Yes, that's the interesting part of life."

after pushing this picture yesterday, many readers asked me backstage, "what's your mind?"

my idea is simple: "I am as ordinary as you, and I want to be better as much as you do, and then I slowly get better through hard work."

good night.