You have to cross yourself three times in your life.

/July 2022


"Ferry Man", there is a classic question:

in the real world, the soul ferry person written in the book does not exist.

the real ferryman can only be ourselves.

in the long river of life, different rivers have different missions and different difficulties.

A man has to cross himself three times in his life.


A few days ago, a rather distressing piece of news quietly climbed into the hot search.

Chen Luyang, a young master's student, jumped into the river and his life ended abruptly at the age of 29.

and he just broke up with his girlfriend more than a month ago.

Bon voyage, the big boy was desperate because of an emotional failure and went to a dead end.

the cold window of many years, the bright future, and the tearing hearts of my parents have all turned into a heavy sigh over the Pearl River.

his 18 diaries were full of his inseparable feelings about this relationship.

apart from being sad, there are also sighs.

as the old saying goes: there is no girl without spring, no teenager without infatuation.

when young, love and hate always come earth-shaking, no one can escape the word "love".

I always think that meeting one person is my whole life, but I don't realize that at any fork in life, two people may be separated.

as Li Yu wrote in "the 12th floor":

affection is deep and shallow, just like flowers blossom and fall, which cannot be changed by manpower.

when love is a thing of the past, no matter how long you cry, you can't sleep over and over again, but you have to accept the reality of drifting away.

and the first growth of life starts from getting through the relationship.

in the movie the True Story of Alfie, the girl played by Maggie Cheung falls in love with the boy Xu Tsai and wants to marry him.

however, the cynical Xu Tsai soon left her and started a new relationship.

when she was lost, she also humbly asked to stay, but after learning from the bitter experience, she decided not to pester it any more.

later, when Xu Tsai's abandoned new girlfriend came to her door, she only replied faintly:

"it's you, not me, who still cares about him."

the unwillingness and sadness of the past are finally leveled by time one by one.

the so-called "feeling sad" in his youth, as Mr. Lin Yutang said, "people are sad because they don't see far enough."

those who are determined to go are not worth it; those who love but cannot be entangled, and those who are not predestined, don't cling to them.

since we can't help each other as we wish, we might as well forget each other.

over the past, looking back, all love and hatred will become light.


Life is like a high mountain, each of us is a climber.

from school and work to getting married and having children, every time you climb forward, the mountain becomes steeper and the burden on you increases.

after middle age, the difficulty of mountain climbing reaches its peak in a lifetime.

hold your children, carry your parents, lead your partner, and be on the lookout for young people in the company who may replace you all the time.

the burden of life comes like a tide, bending the teenager's waist and wrinkling the girl's face.

every middle-aged person who takes the lead in the word "difficult" has inhumane pressure and unimaginable anxiety.

A doctor friend once told such a story.

A divorced middle-aged woman, whose mother was dependent on each other since childhood, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and her child was in high school.

earlier surgeries have almost wiped her out, and follow-up dialysis is expensive.

because she could not afford a nurse, the woman had to work during the day and go to the hospital to accompany the bed at night.

on several nights on the night shift, he and his colleagues heard women crying secretly in the hallway.

but when she turned around and went back to the ward, she still smiled and warmed milk and peeled oranges for her mother.

remembering the novel half-Life, after lamenting the loneliness of people in middle age, she then wrote:

only children believe that a knight must come to save the princess. Middle-aged people have long known that life is full of difficulties, but to make their own way.

get through one hurdle after another, and there are still thousands of waves to look up, but so what?

when people reach middle age, as Hu Shi said, "if you become a pawn across the river, you can only move forward desperately."

through the hard time of "too busy to distinguish joys and sorrows, and too busy to cry", one day, you and I will eventually be like Li Zongsheng:


Old Age

Mr. Liang Qichao once said, "Young people are like chivalry, old people are like monks."

when he was 100 years old, Mr. Yang Jiang also said in the book:

"after different degrees of exercise, a person will achieve different degrees of self-cultivation and benefits."

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is like spices. The more crushed it is, the finer it is ground, and the stronger the fragrance is.

We were so eager for the waves of fate that we finally found the most beautiful scenery in life, but we were calm and calm. "

along the way, I have passed the difficulties of youth and life.

in the twilight years, when a thousand sails pass, the last thing you have to cross is your own heart.

some people have described Lin Qingxuan's life as follows:

become famous when he is young, young people have experienced changes in the world, middle-aged people have learned the Tao, and old age has awakened all things.

in his life, he has dropped out of school to work.Stalls, slaughtering pigs and raising families, and how many difficulties they encounter in marriage.

has also experienced the glory of becoming famous in youth, winning all the major awards in Taiwan's literary circles.

in the second half, he chose to stay away from the world, concentrate on writing, and develop a calm heart step by step.

when he looked back on the ups and downs of his life in his later years, he wrote:

"there are five kinds of life, young and astringent, youthful and mellow, heavy in middle age, fragrant in middle age, and tasteless in old age."

the sentence "old age is tasteless" is not only the wisdom and state of mind of Old Lin, but also the truest portrayal of people in their old age:

if youth is a kind of unruly running all the way, middle age is a kind of vicissitudes that have gone through thousands of rivers and mountains.

then old age is calm and indifferent when it reaches a calm place.

I spent the first half of my life working hard and fighting for my family.

experienced the ups and downs, watched all kinds of life, there are reluctant to give up, there are obsession, there are obstacles.

but at a certain age, you have to learn to let it go.

worldly fame and fortune, past gains and losses, should be bearish; the troubles of life and the entanglements of children should all go with him.

for the rest of my life, I only want peace of mind and live only for myself.

as the cartoonist once wrote:

"there are thousands of stories in the world of mortals, which will disappear in the end." The old man likes to hold the gourd and becomes an immortal in wine. "

Life is getting late, passing the heart, is a bearish, but also a kind of free and easy.

looking back on my life, all things I can't let go can be put down, and all things I can't let go have been put aside.

when there is no dust in my heart, the days are quiet.


in Western mythology, there is a famous "Sphinx riddle":

the answer must be familiar to everyone.

when I was a teenager, I crawled as a toddler, when I grew up, I entered the world alone, and in my old age, I walked on crutches.

the so-called life is to pass by one by one.

pass through love in youth, difficulties in life in middle age, mood in old age.

in the course of origin and death, through the ups and downs, we live as if we were omnipotent.

finally, I will reach peace of mind on the other side of life.