You don't have to put too many people into your life.

No one is an island.

every day we live in this world, we deal with "people".

this determines that 90% of our troubles are derived from interpersonal relationships.

in fact, it is not easy to be born as a human being. in order to survive, everyone racks their brains and pains to please those who do not really treat you. Scruples, courtesy and camouflage make life particularly exhausting.

but a really comfortable relationship is connected with true feelings, two people give to each other, never feel who owes whom, in such a relationship, you will always be the most true self.

therefore, life is not easy, but we should try our best to live what we want. We don't have to invite too many people into life. Loving ourselves is the king.

01

the most difficult thing in life is to understand that

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people will meet about 29.2 million people in their lifetime, but the chance of knowing each other is less than 0.000049.

it's not easy to find someone who understands your story, and it's even harder to find someone who understands what you can't say.

because there is really no empathy in the world, but there are people who understand you, know your preferences, understand your thoughts, understand your difficulties, and understand your sufferings.

understanding is the identification of ideas; understanding is the connection of the mind.

if you can really meet someone who understands you, it's a great blessing, please cherish it.

once read a story.

there is a nurse whose biggest hobby is boxing.

she often shares the fun of boxing with her boyfriend, but her boyfriend always throws cold water on her:

although the nurse loves her boyfriend very much, they finally broke up.

then she met another boy.

the boy is very silent and likes literary and artistic things, but every time the nurse shares his happiness in boxing with him, he listens with interest.

the boy will not practice boxing with her, but will quietly watch her do what she likes.

I once read this passage in Jia Pingwa's "walking alone":

the real loneliness is not when you are alone, but when two people are clearly close at hand, but their hearts are far apart.

what we don't want to keep around us forever are people who are indifferent to everything. Do not want those people, when you are about to be exhausted, but also to pour your cold water, spilled to your whole body drenched, has been cold to the heart.

so never give up looking for someone who understands you. Even if there is only one, it is worth a lifetime to cultivate a connection.

02

circles are different, so it is not necessary to integrate

at first sight, it is better to stay forever.

what's more, not everyone can simply maintain a relationship at first sight.

what you have to know is that the circle you once forced into is now nothing more than a "social circle of three noes".

not all people are as enthusiastic as you are, not all relationships are as good as you think, and not everyone can fit in with your soul.

so, if the circle is different, don't try to force it, otherwise you will hurt yourself and damage the relationship.

there is a question on Zhihu:

in the answer area, one respondent shared his family's experience and received 45000 likes:

"A school where the average working class can barely jump in is just the beginning."

English tutoring classes worth 20,000 yuan a year are basically reported. Do you sign up or not?

for piano lessons worth 600 yuan each, rich mothers pay 1,000 yuan for teachers to teach in order to save their children's time.

Nike Adi's new and limited edition shoes can be found on children's feet and colorful KENZO sweaters in sports meetings.

the school organizes overseas research activities every year, one year is the United States, more than 40,000 days, the next year is Singapore, your children participate or not? . "

are not the same people at all, and their levels are not at the same level. What's the use of forcing children into the circle of rich children?

in fact, fate is very dangerous. maybe everyone is born with a good plot.

some people are destined to play a big part in your life, but some people are destined to be just a supporting role in your life.

some people are worth cherishing, but some people are destined to be said goodbye.

after all, true friends will accept you because of your goodness, not because of your flattery and deliberate efforts to put you on the list of contacts, friends can not beg.

do not ask for a bosom friend of "Boya period". I hope I am not tired to get along with each other!

03

if you are in full bloom, the breeze will come

it is better to enrich yourself than to please others.

I used to complain that it was the bad people around me that made me live a bad life. But then you will gradually understand that you have changed, so it has affected your world.

where there is demand, there is bitterness that cannot be obtained.

instead of chasing hard, try to make yourself better and work hard on yourself.

yourself is good enough to attract everything you want.

at a business sharing meeting, I heard such a story:

sharers were very interested in doing e-commerce when they were still in college, and met several big names in various activities.

but just after graduation, she decided to start a business and confidently contacted these bigwigs to ask for relevant experience.People respond.

she had no choice but to gnash her teeth to learn, practice, fail, and come again. Step by step, she has finally made some achievements.

now, there is an endless stream of people who come to her to discuss cooperation, including those who used to be big names.

finally, she said with emotion:

along the way, you will meet a lot of people and lose some of them.

only by learning with an open mind, constantly improving yourself, and defeating yourself, can you continue to strengthen yourself. there are more people who like you and respect you, and your pattern is bound to continue to be broad, strong, and have a broader world.

when your ability reaches a certain height, you can have no fear of wind and rain, and you can enrich your heart.

there is nothing more confident than hard work. Busyness will make you forget the time and the boring things.

Life is not easy. Giving extra time to yourself and enriching yourself is far more comfortable than pretending to please others.

there is a saying in Yi Shu's Beautiful New World:

in this world of complex interpersonal relationships, being with like-minded people who are comfortable and not tired is the greatest reward for yourself.

and those who can't get or stay, just let him go with the wind. After all, there must be a better future ahead of you.

May we all have three or five friends in our limited lives, two or three bosom friends, a bosom lover, never tired for a long time, never tired of getting along with each other for the rest of our lives.