Why don't you reason with your wife? This answer saves countless families!
not long ago, there was a hot topic. What happened to men who liked to reason with their wives?
one of them replied:
although there is a little anger in the tone, it is reasonable to think about it.
observing the marriages of friends around us, families whose husbands like to fight for right or wrong and have to be reasonable are really not happy.
and if the husband is good at "harmony rice soup", when the wife gets angry, she will quickly admit, apologize and cajole others, and most of the families will be harmonious and happy.
the trifles of marriage are all the same, but the way a man handles it determines the temperature of a family.
90% of couples quarrel
all because men can't talk
what do women hate most about men? The following 10 sentences are on the most annoying list:
1 Don't bother me, do whatever you like
2 is my fault
4 what's wrong with you /what's wrong with me
5 if you want to think so, I can't
6 drink more hot water
7 is just a friend
9 are you finished
and the last rule has undoubtedly become a ticking time bomb in the marriage. As long as the husband is reasonable, there will be no peace at home.
there is a saying that 99% of couples quarrel because men can't speak.
it's obviously a very small thing, as long as a straight man of steel replies, it can make a woman blow up her hair immediately. Men think that women are stingy, but in fact, this plausible sentence just points to the death point of women.
in our daily life, we often see such a scene:
female: what kind of food are you going to have tonight?
the dish is served.
Man: why potatoes again?
woman: I have a stomachache today. I haven't had the strength all day.
Man: drink more hot water.
female: explain to me, what on earth is going on?
Man: I said it's not what you think.
female: what is that?
Man: are you done?
woman: I don't know, is it?
Man: I can't help it if you think so.
if you go shopping with a woman to buy clothes, you will say that you are tired after walking to two stores.
ask him if he looks good. Or say perfunctorily: good-looking, buy it and go. Or that is to say: it is not good-looking, the family can not pile up, every day is to buy and buy.
the most exasperating thing is that you jump with anger and he thinks you are unreasonable.
it is said that men are from Venus and women are from Mars. They have different ways of thinking. If they lack understanding and tolerance, they have endless mouths every day.
someone in Zhihu asked: what is a happy family like?
the most popular answer is: happy families don't fight for right or wrong.
many people like to attribute family conflicts to "disagreements between the three values". However, how can there be so many identical values?
in the family, many things are confusing, confusing, and messy.
there is a good saying in the Simpsons:
there is a particularly reasonable husband
what is the experience
I have a friend whose husband belongs to the "knowledge type". Whenever there is a conflict between the two, he likes to be reasonable.
once, his wife had a bit of trouble with someone outside and came back with a long face, more or less emotional on her family.
when her husband learned this, he not only did not comfort her, but analyzed with her rationally:
my friend wanted to go home to calm down, but as a result, her husband helped outsiders and got angry and quarreled at that time. This is good. I was angry with others outside, and I was mended by my husband when I went home.
after a big fight, she was so angry that she went back to her mother's house. Not only that, her husband has always felt that he is very fair and objective, saying stubbornly:
Women are concerned about men's attitude and love, and maybe a hug or a concession can solve the problem. Men have to "talk at length", turn a small fire into a big fire, and finally start a fire.
there are many such things. Although there is no major right or wrong between the couple, life is getting colder and colder, and then they leave.
A few years later, my friend remarried and found a more honest one.
every time she gets angry, he quickly admits:
No matter what happens, coax her down first.
this man, who looks stupid, coaxed his friend out of temper, not only became more and more gentle, but also had more laughter and laughter in his marriage.
Why do women always hate listening to reason, and why do men love to listen to reason?
there is a view that
this sense of pride may have an advantage in work and business cooperation, but it is a big mistake in marriage.
Women are emotional creatures, and their nature is more sensitive to the emotional changes of men.
when men talk to women with an unequal attitude of "I am smart and you are stupid" and "I am reasonable and you are unreasonable", women will feel aggrieved and instinctively resist.
if you want to be reasonable, I am unreasonable. If you say you are right, then I must say you are wrong.
if the two sides do not give way to each other in the end, and everyone wants to gain the upper hand, that family will not be home.
high EQMen never reason with their wives
there is a short story on the Internet.
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an old couple quarrel, and the husband always gives way to his wife. The wife calmed down and asked:
the husband said:
if you want to convince someone, especially the wife you live with, the best way is definitely not to be reasonable.
but from her point of view, to ease her mood in a soft way. If you win her heart, you will naturally win her trust and recognition.
A man with high EQ will never reason with his wife.
but know how to compromise properly and maintain the harmony of the whole family.
there is no right or wrong in family affairs, only discord. Home is a place to hide love, not a place to reason.
knowing how to withdraw from the family "battlefield" is not a deserter, but a wise man.
husband and wife quarrel, there is never a winner.
Home is not a place to be reasonable. Keep this in mind, and everything must be happy at home.