Whether a child is good in the future or not can be seen by your mouth.
Zhihu once had such a question and answer: do parents' mouths have a great influence on their children?
one of the netizens' sharing was praised by everyone. He said:
Adele Farber, a famous American child scientist, once said:
never underestimate the influence of your words on your child's life.
when parents say words of praise, their children will feel love and motivation, and they will become better and better in the future.
but once their parents say scolding and criticism, children will become self-abased or even give up and do nothing for the rest of their lives.
whether a child is good or not in the future depends on the mouth of his parents.
parents' mouths determine children's IQ
there was a public service advertisement abroad, and Ikea in the United Arab Emirates conducted a shocking experiment to test the influence of language on a person.
they put two identical plants in the school hall and give them the same water, the same fertilizer and the same light every day.
the difference is that they let the children scold one of them and praise the other every day.
surprisingly, a month later, the praised plant grew as long as possible, while the scolded plant drooped, gradually yellowed, and finally withered.
plants will wither after long scolding, not to mention a child.
Harvard Medical School did a study and found that
that is, children who are often scolded by their parents have much lower language intelligence than those who have not been subjected to verbal violence.
Fu Yuanhui is a child who is getting better and better because of his father's mouth.
since childhood, instead of scolding her, her father always praised her and often said to her:
when she encountered difficulties in swimming practice, she would find a way to overcome them, because she thought she was the best, the best, and a genius.
finally overcame one difficulty after another and really became a talented swimmer.
when children are young, their brains continue to grow. Our praise can make them more powerful and their brains will develop normally, but our constant scolding will destroy the child's brain development and eventually affect the child's intelligence.
parents' mouths determine the character of their children
remember that Jiang Wen talked about his mother in an interview, which was distressing.
he said that his mother had never affirmed him since he was a child, and what she said was always negative, which led to the fact that he, who was so successful, was still very self-abased.
he was admitted to the Chinese opera, got the admission notice, and happily showed it to his mother when he got home, but he didn't want his mother to read it, but he still said, "your clothes haven't been washed yet, so don't talk to me about it."
he doesn't care about his feelings at all. In order to get his mother's approval, he worked hard to buy a house for his mother after work, but his mother didn't want to come to live. Broken down, he said:
the negation of his mother made him feel that he was not good enough, and eventually became more and more inferior.
Child psychologists believe that children who have been living in language violence for a long time will have psychological problems such as cowardice and inferiority, psychological depression and loneliness, restless spirit, psychological eccentricities, love to lie, bad temper and so on.
in fact, each of our brains is a "survival mode", that is, in order to adapt to the environment, it will develop into the structure needed by the current environment.
when parents constantly blame and deny, the child will form a cowardly and inferiority complex, and once this character is formed, it is difficult to change in adulthood.
online, a famous netizen shared the influence of his parents' words on his character.
she said that when she was a child, her mother often scolded her, always saying that she was stupid, and she always felt stupid and always had low self-esteem.
later on, I went to work, but I could not escape being stupid. Once the leader arranged a job and did a good job and was praised by the leader, but he always felt that he was a very stupid person. So he said to the leader:
is also because of this. If you do the same thing well, others can get a raise, but your own salary will never move.
the mouth of the parents determines the character of the child.
if we keep scolding them, they will become more and more self-abased and eventually form a timid and cowardly character, but if we keep praising them, they will become more and more confident and slowly grow into a sunny and cheerful child.
parents' mouths determine the future of their children
Thailand once had a famous public welfare short film, "try a little bit."
the short film tells the story of a mother who encourages her child. Her son likes football very much, so she takes her son to learn football.
after a training session, the coach said to her:
after listening to the coach, she did not tell the child like this, but said to the child:
hearing the mother's words, the child worked harder to practice the header. Although he failed to practice the header every time, he never gave up.
later, in running training, he always lagged behind and even fell down. when his mother helped him tie his shoes, she said to him:
under the guidance of his mother, he tried to surpass the person in front of him every time he ran.
later, in a game, his team fell behind, and he even fell down, but remembered his mother's words and tried a little harder, so he got up, tried to surpass the man in front, and finally scored with a header and became a great player.
it was because of his mother's words that he learned football.
actuallyFor a child, the encouragement of his parents is invisible recognition to him, once they feel this recognition, they will be more positive and work harder.
when she was a girl, her best friend liked dancing very much, and her mother always said that she was born to dance.
with the encouragement of her mother, her best friend studies harder. Every time she doesn't dance well and learns slowly, she will remember what her mother said, "you are born to dance."
so my best friend always thinks she can do it well. after all, she is born to dance.
with the encouragement of her mother, her best friend dances better and better, and now she has become a professional dancer.
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American psychologist James said:
and for children, this recognition is appreciation, is the driving force for their efforts, and ultimately makes them better and better.
what parents say, children will become what they will become.
there is a hinting effect in psychology, which means that parents' negation, attack, and criticism will give children negative psychological cues. These negative psychological cues will be transformed into children's "inner critical voice", allowing children to form a strong "anti-self" consciousness.
once they form anti-self-consciousness, they will habitually criticize and deny themselves, and even feel that they are useless.
Professor Susan Foward says in poisoned parents:
that is to say, children become what parents say!
as parents, we should criticize our children less, convey more positive energy to them, praise and praise them more, and let them see their good side.
slowly let the child subconsciously think that he is excellent, demand himself with excellence, and eventually grow into a really good child.