When you reach middle age, put away your generosity.

/August 2022

the years are in a hurry, there is no time to think about it, people have reached middle age.

when I was young, I always thought that when I was right, others would like me.

until now, I realized that I was too generous to others, but I hurt myself.

when people reach middle age and become accustomed to the sophistication of the world, they find that people still have to be kind to themselves.

Don't hurt yourself for people and things that are not worth it.


unreasonable demands on others, say "no"

have you ever had such an experience in your life?

A friend who has not been in touch for a long time suddenly calls you and says that she has come to your city and wants to stay at your house for the night.

once, when a relative came to your family, and you turned her down, she called you stingy everywhere.

one day you need money, and when you ask him to pay it back, he says he has no money to repay the loan and let you figure it out.

you spent time and energy to help him manage the online store, and finally didn't do it, he blamed you for being incompetent!

but others may not pay attention to your efforts.

people who advance by an inch will only take, and to be generous to them is to trample on themselves;

selfish people only care about themselves, and to be generous to them is cruel to themselves;

ungrateful people only want interests, and being generous to them is harm to themselves.

kind-hearted, never refuse everything, and sometimes you have to take care of yourself.

if they dare to make unreasonable demands to you, you have the right to refuse them.

as the old saying goes, "there is a limit to everything, but it is not enough to go too far."

be a man, don't be too soft-hearted, don't spoil others and wronge yourself.

you give others what they want; you should give them what they say.

in this way, your generosity, in the eyes of others, is just weakness.

those who have ulterior motives will also use your generosity to test your bottom line step by step.

born a human being, everyone has to live for himself first.


to those who don't care and hurt you, say "no"

on the way of life, you will more or less meet people who don't care and hurt yourself.

there are always some people who bully you again and again when they see you are honest; when they see you are generous, they take advantage of you even more.

to be generous to those who don't care and hurt you is to be aggrieved.

in the Japanese TV series "We who can't be Beasts", the hostess Shen Haijing is a bright white-collar worker.

but behind this, she is extremely sad and tired.

she is always the first to arrive at the office when she goes to work every morning.

because she wants to help those colleagues who come to work slowly, bring breakfast and make coffee.

at work, colleagues use the sentence "you will do better than me" and leave all their work to Shen Haijing.

coupled with my own work, deep-sea crystals squat on the ground while waiting for the subway.

once, when the newcomer left his post irresponsibly, the deep sea crystal would kneel down in front of his boss and beg for forgiveness.

such efforts do not get thanks from others.

Tai Jai Zhi said:

not everyone in the world is worthy of our generosity.

you can be generous to those who care about you, but not to those who don't care about you;

you can be generous to those who really treat you, but not to those who hurt you.

the person who doesn't care about you will take it for granted no matter how kind you are to him.

if you give to the person who has hurt you, he will feel that you are weak and easy to bully.

people can be generous, but they don't have to be generous to everyone.

Don't be a thankless old man. You are so generous to others. Have others ever cared about you?


put away your generosity, turn your face when it's time to turn your face, and don't be afraid to offend others

"Xunzi" said, "take your own pillar and be soft."

too hard objects are easy to break, too weak and easy to be bound.

in fact, most of the time, you are used to other people's attitude towards you.

you forgive yourself generously for disrespecting your behavior once or twice.

if others think you are so generous, they will not feel ashamed to you, but will only disrespect you even more.

I have heard such a story:

Chen, who has worked for more than ten years, has moved to a new company.

when having dinner on the first day of work, Lao Chen told his colleagues that he was allergic to alcohol and would have a rash after drinking.

at the later dinner, some of my colleagues forgot and kept advising Lao Chen to drink.

also said that Lao Chen was too humiliated, how about a drink, and some people booed.

Lao Chen took a fluke and generously accepted their persuasion.

but when he got home, Lao Chen was very uncomfortable. He was all red and full of rashes, and scratched his skin in many places. At the dinner after

, colleagues thought that he could not drink was an excuse and advised him to drink every time.

until once, the allergy was so serious that it caused shortness of breath.

when we had dinner again, Lao Chen no longer accepted their advice and refused very firmly.

his colleagues gradually stopped persuading him to drink. Even when they went out to talk about cooperation, some colleagues excused him and told others that he could not drink.

Sanmao once said:

everyone is not a saint, so there is no need to refuse everything.

be sure to be generous with people and things that hurt you.

refuse what you should refuse. Others are not afraid of offending you, and you don't have to be afraid of offending others.

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Liang Shiqiu said:

the same is true of life.

when people reach middle age, they can better understand the various tastes of life and have their own attitude towards life.

when people are old and young, they have a heavy burden on their shoulders, and they have no time to pay attention to those intrigues.

so, for those who can only consume and take, be sure to put aside your generosity, don't be afraid of falling out, don't be afraid to offend others.

if you respect yourself, others will respect you.