Two hours before going to bed determines the quality of your marriage.

I used to hear people say that women

are priceless jewels before they get married;

when they get married, they become dead beads without luster;

A little longer, they will be completely dead fish eyes.

the way the one looks at you becomes strange before you know it, and the attitude of the person next to you becomes alienated before you know it.

even if we sleep together every day, I still feel thousands of miles apart, unable to guess my mind and can't touch tenderness. This is the norm of how many people!

01

Don't let your marriage lose because you don't have a sense of participation.

before I went to bed last night, I looked at my hardest colleague and sent a text in moments complaining about my husband:

sometimes I don't know if I live a life of one person or two.

see no one in the morning, not in the evening, the pillow is empty, the heart is empty.

the stars know how to return to the night sky, and sailboats know how to return to the harbor.

Wanderers know how to return home, and tired birds know how to return home.

A big man who doesn't know how to go home.

you say I'm too sensitive?

or is he too uninvolved?

the answer below is full of enthusiasm from friends: he is too uninvolved!

it's a little funny and a little poignant, and I don't know what to say for a while.

just think of two years ago, when the grain just got married, the state was completely different from what it is now. As soon as he got off work, he was like a small firecracker, whizzing out, and the joy could not be hidden.

I saw them several times in the middle of the night--

hand in hand, jumping for a walk;

or at the door of the cinema, the cold wind was blowing and the grains were carried in my husband's coat, a small group that looked lovely and sweet.

or two people don't go anywhere, just stay at home, playing boring and childish games, recording fights in moments and witnessing the details of love under the lights at night.

I just know that the relationship between lovers can really be so greasy and harmonious.

but then what happened?

he is getting busy with his work and coming back late.

dinner for two and good night before going to bed.

he treats his home as a hotel, presses the password to enter the door, puts on his clothes and leaves.

clothes are not folded in a mess.

do not accept the bowls and chopsticks if they are dirty.

the window is broken and can't be repaired.

it was that time that really made the grain collapse. After 11:00 at night, the torrential rain was coming, and he was out on a business trip.

the wind was so strong and frightening that it even slammed the whole window on the balcony. Rain Water poured in like that, mixed with broken glass, and poured into the living room.

Grain sat alone in the flooded living room and burst into tears.

call him, there is not a word of concern, but reprimanded impatiently: "the window is broken, you are looking for property!" What can you do with me? "

Grain suddenly doesn't want to say a word. I didn't expect him to have time during the day, and I can't expect him to have time tonight. He has become less and less involved in this family, and he is less and less aware of being loved.

think of what they said:

how can there be a good marriage?

just some people work hard with peace of mind, while others pay behind their backs.

Women really don't want much. Sweet words can solve all kinds of sorrows, and careful companionship can melt water in the heart.

however, in those stormy nights, there are always people who refuse to think about it, go gently, go home before dark or hug their loved ones before going to bed.

02

Don't let your marriage be lost in a lack of ritual

you may ask:

bedtime, just two hours, is it really that important for a relationship?

I think so.

Day parting, busy day

who do you want to see most when you are sad?

who do you want to know first when you are happy?

I have asked a lot of people that their answers are their own partners.

maybe as the saying goes:

two hours before going to bed is the best time to know a person's heart.

so many lovers look forward to meeting late at night, and then share the inner world that no one has ever set foot on, and share the world of two people that no one has ever disturbed.

when I think of Papi sauce, they have talked about their relationship with their husbands on the show. They both pay attention to the sense of ritual in their lives-no matter how busy they are at work, they have to talk for a while before going to bed.

talk about everything, talk about what happened to each other, talk about the two cats at home, and talk about the current situation of your friends.

like this every day, the thunder is motionless, and both of them tacitly maintain this time that only belongs to each other....

many people envy their state, but in my opinion, this is not the tacit understanding and sweetness that can be cultivated overnight, but in their daily life, they are both willing to give their energy and sincerity.

I once read a bill written by a divorced woman on Tianya Forum--

on the night of July 18, 2020, he owed me a good night before going to bed.

on the night of August 20, 2020, he owed me a safe call.

on this day in 2020, we chose divorce after complaining and blaming each other.

the words are restrained and calm, but I was surprised to see that they had an appointment with the man at home.To say good night to each other before going to bed, men on business days, to call women's peace of mind.

however, with the passing of time, one is increasingly forgotten, the other is increasingly disappointed.

Men become completely indifferent to these rituals and even start to scoff at them.

so, I owed all the promises I had promised to fulfill, and my determination to keep each other was all disillusioned.

everything is like that sad saying:

when I was young, I loved you for a lifetime, without giving and persistence, without compromise and tolerance, how could I go to the end.

03

Don't let your marriage lose in giving up without sense of security

you must have suffered thousands of times of discouragement.

it is believed that a person must have experienced thousands of mental determinations.

just like my best friend Rui, the couple have always had an unwritten rule:

you can't quarrel overnight, and no matter how big the knot is, you have to solve it that night.

I still remember that time I went to their house as a guest and saw them quarrel upside down over a little thing-

one cried so much that it rained, and the other smoked in silence.

No one was soft, no one bowed their heads, and pots and pans fell to the ground.

I have no choice but to take Xiao Rui home and think of both sides to calm down.

as a result, when I was about to go to bed that day, the doorbell rang, and Xiao Rui's husband came, holding a bouquet of flowers and said shyly, "I've come to take Xiao Rui home."

look at Xiao Rui. One second she was still crying, but the next she was smiling. She packed up and said shyly, "I knew you were coming!"

the two went home arm in arm, leaving me, a single dog, dumbfounded and envious.

I remember that someone once sighed that

all my life, what I longed for was a certain love.

No matter how late it is, someone will take me home.

whatever happens, there are people behind me.

people experience bad times and are always vulnerable in the middle of the night.

at this time, it's really different to have company and no one to accompany.

I remember that last month, a sick listener said that I was at a loss when I knew I was sick.

I couldn't sleep for a long time, holding back tears in silence.

the moment I turned around, I was hugged into my arms by the man behind me.

at this point, I finally burst into tears, but I am no longer afraid of the future.

most of the time, we fall in love and pray for our loved ones not to find our bad roots, those who are timid, inferiority, useless and vulnerable.

but forget that there will always be such a person in the world: whether you are good or bad, he is unwilling to take you out and compare you with others.

whether you are injured, disabled or sick, sad or depressed, he will stand behind you unswervingly.

04

whether a marriage is long or not depends on whether it is good before going to bed.

Qian Zhongshu wrote in "besieged Fortress":

it is true that we roll in the world, run around in the earthly world, go out in the rising sun, and go home in the setting sun.

in a long day, apart from working, eating, and socializing, what we leave to our loved ones is time before going to bed.

and it is during this period of time that we can tell that in the gap of time, in the folds of time, anyone who will stop will immediately think of you-no matter how late he is, he will come to see you before dark.

No matter how busy he is, he will remember to say a gentle word to you and do something gentle at the end of the day.

No matter how difficult it is, he will give you strength when you are vulnerable late at night, so that you are not afraid to be enemies with all the beasts of the world.

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