To flatten the edges and corners of the body is to suit you.

/December 2022


"Let's fall in Love" ended its second season of dog abuse a few days ago. Among them, the most explosive in the girls' dormitory, which is also discussed and paid the most attention by the outside world, is the "love progress" of the male god Yu Wenle.

this Weibo post almost exploded Weibo and moments. Yu Wenle said: "We are quite suitable."

but they are definitely not "fit" in the eyes of ordinary people.

since the first episode, they are full of embarrassment and stiffness in the program. There is a difference of ten years, one is a straightforward and stubborn girl in the north, and the other is a maverick hipster in the south. Apart from what we objectively think of as "no match", their personalities also seem to be very different.

Yu Wenle took the initiative to give Zhou Dongyu a nickname, take the initiative to celebrate her birthday, visit classes, deliver warm drinks, take the initiative to take photos, and take the initiative to participate in the woman's life. On the other hand, Zhou Dongyu is introverted and so implicit that she doesn't like these direct expressions. She will be shy when Yu Wenle appears, she will be so nervous that she doesn't know what to say, so she will be silent and run away when Yu Wenle warmly asks for a group photo.

the almost completely different character and expression made the viewers who watched the first few episodes even more disappointed. My friends put it like this: "it's really embarrassing to see Yu Wenle and Zhou Dongyu in it. I just give it up. I can't imagine what will happen in the future."

but it happens that such two people, after mutual running-in and understanding, can also become what Yu Wenle said, "quite appropriate."

the process of slowly opening up your heart, running-in with honesty, understanding and getting along with your heart. Zhou Dongyu put on the clothes of the little yellow duck and said earnestly, "wait for me, let's take our time". Go where he walked, take pictures of him, feel him at that time, accept the guide dog, take a step to hand over trust and sense of security. Scenes of hard running-in are presented in the program, from "inappropriate" to accommodation and nature.

putting aside the question of whether it is true to be on the show, this process is moving enough.

I don't think there will be 100% suitable two people, nor do I believe there will be two completely inappropriate people.

everyone is an innumerable polyhedron, so it is ridiculous to use the word "fit" to measure the relationship between two people. It would be even more ridiculous to think of "fit" as the percentage that two people can overlap-how much is appropriate? How can I get along with you only when I am like you? How much of your trajectory coincides with me before we can spend our lives together?

you cannot evaluate a relationship between two people by a rigid standard, nor can you sentence a relationship to death by such criteria.

Yes, there are many differences between two people. The way of expression, the bottom line of acceptance, the rhythm of getting along, each of which seems to be a reason for friction, can also be regarded as "inappropriate". If because of this, we close the door to get along with each other and reject the possibility of development, doesn't it seem hasty?

what is appropriate actually? Fit is actually comfortable and natural to get along with.

for example, Zhou Dongyu can play all kinds of jokes with Yu Wenle, advance and retreat freely, and have a clear and moderate view of each other's minefields. for example, when two people walk on the road, they never feel embarrassed even if they don't talk. one person playing with his cell phone and the other person won't feel unhappy. For example, when we eat together at a table, we can speak freely. We don't have to worry about tingling, we don't have to worry about being ridiculed, and even if we drink too much, we don't have to worry about saying anything wrong.

in a relationship, you can be yourself and naturally let the other person into your life.

if you can understand "appropriate" in this way, you can simply come to the conclusion that it is not personality and style that cause inappropriate, but tolerance and acceptance that make "appropriate". To get along with each other is to go through the precipitation of time, and it is necessary to run in and collide. In the interaction of the relationship, if you know something about the other person, then you will adjust the way you get along. When you enter a state where both sides are comfortable, you will feel "natural".

some relationships lose patience in running-in, while others merge with each other in collision. Relationships that can be tested are appropriate.

I have a friend who has heard her cry to me countless times since she fell in love, "he doesn't know what I'm thinking."how could he do this to me?"he's really out of line!"

I have also shared countless times her seemingly small things that made her feel very hurt. The matter can be so small that she said, "I'm going back to the dorm, so you don't have to see me off." then the boy really didn't send her back; they quarreled, and the boy was cold when he called, without caring or asking about her feelings; the boy went out for dinner, didn't check her phone, didn't reply to her Wechat, and she didn't answer her phone.

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I watched them quarrel and consume over and over again because of these little things, feeling distressed and helpless. The girl asked me, "are we not suitable?" He can't understand why I spend so much time on these little things, and I can't understand why he can't accommodate me with such a small thing! "

after listening over and over again and comforting her tears for countless times, I asked her carefully, "if you don't think you can fit in."... Would you like to think about breaking up? "

she was silent for a few minutes and replied calmly, "try again."

I looked at the tears in her eyes and the feelings in my heart were mixed.

I don't know if you've ever had the experience of having a lot of bumps in your heart, dissatisfaction with your partner, accumulated noise, and endless old debts. In the relationship may struggle, or disappointed. You will confide in your friends and be depressed in your heart.Bored, will feel aggrieved and annoyed, but bear these negative emotions, obviously you have tried to call him "piss off" in the middle of the night, but do not want to mention "break up", do not want to touch this end.

because in your eyes, you don't believe in "inappropriate". In other words, you still believe that through getting along, you can bring about changes on both sides and become "appropriate". And you believe that after you leave, you can actually roll back.

the word that seems to be the most frequently used and can summarize almost all the reasons for a breakup is "inappropriate".

"We don't fit, so let's break up."

this reason can be rated as the best reason to break up. Because the personality is not complementary, can not achieve the same values, so it is not appropriate; because the personality is too similar, either two people are not strong, or both are lifeless, this kind of love has no passion, so two people are not suitable; even exaggeration, because two people's character is erratic, so we need to guess each other, this kind of getting along is too tired, so it is not suitable.

Yes, all the reasons for breaking up can be classified as "inappropriate" if you want to.

but in fact, before every couple gets together, they must feel that each other is the right person. If you are not attracted by his charm, if he does not have a moment to move you, if he does not make you feel comfortable, how can you choose to be together?

so the word "inappropriate" is just "I don't like you that much".

when you like it, "losing your temper" becomes "arrogant", "making mistakes" becomes "acting cute", as if all the differences are not a problem. But once "like" becomes "not enough like", then all accommodation will become a burden, "lose your temper" has become "vexatious", "make mistakes" has become "no brain".

appropriate and inappropriate are only relative adjectives, but they can not determine the relationship between two people. Just like Yu Wenle did not understand the slow heat of Zhou Dongyu, her humor and her introverted romance at first. But over time, you can also open your heart and test the depth of your feelings.

so there is no absolute "fit" or "inappropriate", only whether you want to "fit" with him or not.

since you have decided to be together, don't shake the idea of going on with him because of friction, don't want to step back because of different personalities, and don't want to break up because of quarrels. Don't think about "there is a more suitable one," try to believe that he is the most suitable person in front of you.

because you like him.

so if one day you really get to the point of breaking up, just admit, "I don't like you that much," and stop making inappropriate excuses.

in love, we slowly smooth the edges and corners and turn them into gears that bite each other.

Love is blind, you can not plan perfect love.