Those who need the company most in the middle of the night often know how to accompany others best.
I am used to comforting others, but I don't like comforting others, unless I know that the person I need to comfort, what she is sad about is something that once made me sad.
before school started, I met a girl named Siyan in the class address book. I had forgotten how we got to know each other, but almost every night during that summer vacation we talked late into the night and then went to sleep. Young girls are always easy to dig out their hearts and hearts without scruples. One night Siyan posted her moments, probably saying, "I hate that you are an irresponsible man, and I even hate that you are a man in my family."
the moments were deleted by her, but I still saw it. I quickly asked her what had happened and wanted to comfort her.
while crying, she told me that she didn't dare to go home after school every time in the past six months, because her parents had been quarrelling, so she sat at the entrance of the alley until they had finished quarreling. Many times she saw her mother go into the grocery room with old clothes and groceries alone in the middle of the night and sleep on the cold floor until dawn. When the family visits relatives occasionally, the parents at the dinner table still say viciously, "you are so good, why don't you go to dinner with others" and "do you mean I should go out to find a woman?"
after listening to what she said, we talked until after two o'clock that night. I didn't say a word to comfort her. I didn't say anything about "it's all right" or "everything's going to be all right."
I just told her how nervous I was when I first ran away from home and hid behind the flower stump in the square. I just told her what it was like to feel "falling apart" for the first time. I told her what it was like to feel "falling apart" for the first time, and how I witnessed the fight between the closest people on weekdays. I told her why I was still afraid of all the unrest when I grew up, because I had to pack up my bags and find the next place to live almost every half a month. I told her how I used my only courage to face court recordings, documents and questions in primary school.
I didn't say a word of comfort to her. I didn't teach her how to deal with things at home, but at the end of that night Siyan said to me, "you're like an angel."
I always believe that what can cure a person should not be words without content and story, but "I have suffered as much as you, but I have survived it. You are the me of the past, and I am the future you."
Yes, I really seem to be like an angel, as if I really use my power to heal others. In fact, I am not that great, I just rely on the identity of the old driver to point the way to each other.
you think I'm so loving that I can help others get out of the shadow. in fact, it's because I've been a doctor for a long time. You haven't seen how I want to die and continue to write "how I spend my life when I want to die." you haven't seen how I tell you stories with tears on my face while tapping my fingers high on the keyboard.
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I really need others to accompany me to comfort me and tell me stories, but no, I really don't. I just have to get through it by myself and tell myself, "you can do it." and then I already have the capacity as an old driver to show you the way.
because there is a gap in my own heart, I can feel the gap in your heart. I can fill it myself, so I can fill you. Often patches that can bring comfort to others are created by people who need patches, but no one creates them, so they learn by themselves.
A Douban author left a message on Weibo the other day, "Sorry, all my stories are lies. I've been depressed for five years." Then I committed suicide, and I was shocked when I saw the news, because the stories published by this author were cured and even accompanied many people through their dark stages on campus and in the workplace.
however, this is the one who accompanies everyone through the dark days, and he can't walk through the darkness by himself.
those who know how to accompany others most often need the company of others the most.
"how much positive energy a person gives you in front of you, how much negative energy he digests behind his old self."
everyone likes to see beautiful things, so everyone loves smiling faces, but no one will ask how many pillow towels this smile has soaked alone in the dark night.
A few years ago, I had a friend who was born an orphan. In those two years, I often went to the welfare home with her, the place where she grew up, where I met many children abandoned by their parents, many of whom were completely healthy. My friend buys snacks, books and toys on the first weekend of every month and goes to the welfare home to visit the orphans.
one day I asked her why she had been away for so long or why she had to go back and forth several times a month. She said, "sometimes I can't tell whether it's good to them or to myself. I just regard them as who I used to be. I used to hope that someone would adopt me and someone would buy me food for me, but I didn't, so now I have the ability. I hope I can be nice to them. It's like fulfilling those wishes that no one gave me at that time. "
she is a girl who did not continue her studies after graduating from junior high school. later, she always went to different places to do different jobs during the day and lingered in our famous local bars at night. I thought she was just a little girl who kept people away, but I loved her that day.
later, we each took buses going in different directions. We were on both sides of the road. Her car came first. The speed of the car was so fast that it did not stop steadily on the side of the station. She walked and ran for more than ten meters before she caught up with the bus. After getting on the bus, she waved to me.
I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her. I obviously need someone to do it the most.She is a good person, but she continues to be kind to others in the later days. If I could hear the OS in her heart, it might be "I stayed with everyone and found that there was no one to accompany me in the end."
in the car, I wrote the words "I used to be your oasis when you were at a dead end, but why am I the only one left to go?"
since when do we refuse to admit it? we are obviously unhappy, but we only type "good night" in the dialog box. We know that we want someone else's "what's wrong", but we still refuse to say it directly. So slowly we all get used to accompanying ourselves to kill those boring, painful and depressed ones, and then draw an experience: "if there's anything unhappy, you'll be fine after a while."
more experience makes you wonder, "do we really need other people's company?" when you occasionally need other people's company when you are weak, you hear the headphones "I hate being so mature that I don't want you to look at me and cry, but smile beautifully. It's like drinking snow water in winter."
We have lived to this day, miserable and ordinary, in the swing of being strong to accompany ourselves and needing the company of others when we are weak.
pain is that you know very well that no one can share your pain, ordinary is that you think you are miserable enough, in fact everyone is.
Fortunately, my tearful life is interspersed with some lovely things-- Free Flying 420 Games.
this Mini Game, developed by Free, can not only accompany you through the long night, but also have iqiyi Youku members, cinema tickets, etc., beer and potato chips for one person, popcorn and coke movies for two, enter the game and start your happy mode.