There is a ruler on the mouth and a road under the foot

as the old saying goes, "words are like arrows, do not send them randomly; as soon as they enter people's ears, they are powerful and difficult to pull out."

when you are alive, you should not only be able to behave and do things, but also be able to speak.

speaking is a skill, and being able to speak will not only add credit to your life, but also make you get twice the result with half the effort.

whether a person can speak or not, the key is to master the sense of division.

01

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it makes sense

there was a writer friend who shared a story of his own.

once, when she was giving a speech on the stage, an eldest sister stood up and shouted loudly, accusing her of being fallacious and heretical, and her remarks were spoiling the presence of women in the venue.

she was surprised at that time. She was clearly helping people improve their thinking and control their own destiny.

and what she can't understand is why she has such a deep prejudice against herself because she has never met this eldest sister.

on second thought, it may be that they are ahead of their minds, and some people can't accept it for a while.

she stopped and asked softly,

"what difficulties have you encountered? is there anything I can do to help you?"

the eldest sister froze at that time. I guess she didn't expect the teacher to be so kind.

then, the tone suddenly calmed down a lot and revealed his own problem.

after listening to her, the writer friend smiled and solved her confusion with a few words, which suddenly enlightened her.

immediately apologized for being reckless, when there was loud applause from the audience.

after the meeting, teachers and classmates at the scene praised her for her concession and magnanimity.

there is an old Chinese saying: "Let people lose three points, but tolerate people three points without loss."

if the teacher had argued hard with the classmate at that time, the scene would undoubtedly be ugly and she would have been brought down to a lower level.

to be kind to others is not to be cowardly, but to keep yourself.

really smart people understand that you should never argue with people at different levels.

you become what kind of person you argue with.

not arguing is wisdom, but concession is a kind of bearing.

it is necessary to give way to reason, and don't argue with the voice in everything. It is a person's self-cultivation deep to the bone.

02

it is reasonable to forgive others

I have heard such a story.

during the warring States period, at the border between the State of Liang and the State of Chu, the two countries respectively built boundary pavilions and sent special personnel to guard them.

the weather is so hot that the kiosks on both sides have planted watermelons in their respective territories.

the difference is that the people in Liangting are diligent, fertilizing and watering every day, and the melon seedlings are growing happily;

the people in Chuting are lazy, the melon seedlings are thin and pale, and the weeds are full of weeds.

seeing that the people of the State of Liang were about to have a bumper harvest, Chu Ting was so popular that he sneaked into the melon field of Liangting at night and tore off the melon seedlings.

the next day, the people of Liangting got up and saw that all their good seedlings had been destroyed. They were so angry that they sued the government, and threatened:

"Let's go and pull their seedlings, too."

the county magistrate stopped them in time, saying:

the people of Chuting are very despicable. Do you want to be as mean as they are?

others are wrong. It would be too narrow for us to follow suit.

from today on, we will fertilize, water and weed their melon seedlings every night to make their seedlings grow well.

and, if you do so, you must not let them know.

Liangting's people did what the county magistrate said.

before long, the people in Chuting found something very strange. They pulled Liangting's melon seedlings, but the other side did not come to them.

another thing is that their melon seedlings are getting better and better.

when they found out the reason, they found that Liangting's people came to water the melon fields every night.

the people in Chuting felt very ashamed, and the story spread to the ears of the king of Chu.

finally, the King of Chu lamented the magnanimity of Liang and provided generous gifts as a sign of rapprochement, and from then on the two enemies became friendly neighbors.

it is reasonable not to forgive others, it is right to win, but it is not just the mind to lose.

many sages and philosophers have told the world that if they are aggressive and do not leave a way back, they will often lose both sides, and the losses outweigh the gain.

it is not only a kind of kindness, but also to accumulate blessings for the future.

for the sake of others, letting others live is not only a broad mind, but also a kind of advanced wisdom.