There is a kind of high EQ, which is called "be clear in case of trouble".

/November 2022

some time ago, a popular video rushed to the top of the list of a website.

an old man on a tricycle, dressed in shabby clothes, accidentally rubbed against a car parked by the side of the road because of improper riding.

when the old man saw this, he quickly apologized to the car owner and wobbly took out the cash from his pocket under several layers of cotton-padded clothes and handed it to the car owner.

I still say, "I'm sorry." I'm old. I didn't stop. "

neither rely on the old to sell the old, nor cry miserably to the car owner, the old man's practice has touched many netizens, saying: be a man without ambiguity.

however, in real life, we always meet people who are confused about everything.

meeting such a person will not only bring trouble to yourself, but also turn life into a mess.


confused and annoying

writer Li Shanglong once mentioned a story in his life.

he has a good female friend, cheerful and caring, but sometimes he doesn't know what to say.

once Li Shanglong bought two identical jackets and usually changed them for filming and class.

every time a friend is curious, he will explain patiently.

but even though she knew the truth, the female friend still said bluntly: "this dress of yours is so ugly that it still wears it all the time. It looks like a reform-through-labor prisoner."

Li Shanglong's face suddenly changed.

another time Li Shanglong looked through the approved script at home. When the female friend knew about it, she asked him for the script and said she wanted to read it.

soon after Li Shanglong sent her the script, he received her phone call and heard the other person say, "the plot is not attractive at all. After watching the first episode, I don't want to read on."... "

Li Shanglong patiently listened to her criticism, but also wanted to end the call as soon as possible.

regardless of other people's self-esteem, words spoken without thinking will sometimes be like a sharp blade, leaving others with wounds that are difficult to heal.

such people, like a prickly hedgehog, will have a strong sense of insecurity when they get along, because they don't know when they will be hurt by language again.

getting along with others and knowing how to speak clearly is the most basic accomplishment.


the boundary is not clear.

A reader said something that happened to him.

he recently broke up with a good friend he has known since college.

after graduation, he joined a private company, while his friend chose to open a bar on his own.

after years of hard work in the workplace, readers have become more mature and are gradually valued by the leaders of the company, handing over important projects to him many times.

while his friends are fooling around, the bar business has not been improving.

A few days ago, the company gave him a very important project, and he is also in a critical period of promotion, if completed well, promotion should not be a big problem.

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but at this juncture, his friend asked him to go for a drink, but he refused because he was busy with his work, but his friend came downstairs to wait for him.

when he was helplessly taken to the bar by his friends, he was drunk by the people present and came home drunk at night, which made his wife have a lot of misunderstandings.

the reader wants a friend to explain to his wife on the phone, who knows that the other person is adding to the phone.

afterwards, he also said that a man should not spoil his wife too much and said that he only told his wife the truth because he regarded the reader as a friend.

because of drinking, the working state of the next day was also very poor, the project report was directly affected, and the promotion was delayed.

since this incident, the reader has completely cut off from his friend.

inappropriately interfere with other people's choices and do things without a sense of boundary, which will make others farther and farther away from you sooner or later.

there is a sentence in the TV series "Please answer 1988": "the so-called boundary means to go there."

regardless of the distance or proximity of the relationship, we do not know each other's state, so directly imposing our own ideas on each other is not only useless, but also leaves the bad impression of "not being able to do things clearly".

everyone has their own situation, they are independent individuals, and there are natural boundaries between each other.

if you ignore this boundary and break it without authorization, causing interference to others, it will also make the relationship go downhill.


there are such people who, for the sake of their own face, speak regardless of the feelings of the people around them.

on Zhihu, some netizens said something that had happened to them, and they felt heartbroken after reading it.

once a netizen and her husband went out for dinner, and when they were eating, the waiter put two bottles of drinks directly on the table.

the netizen did not order a drink, so he politely told the waiter, "neither of us ordered it. You should have ordered it by mistake."

after hearing this, the waiter not only did not take away the drink, but said in an affirmative tone: "this is what you ordered."

netizens think that there are many people eating, and it is normal to make a mistake, so they reiterate that they did not order, and they can check the bill.

maybe the waiter is reluctant to get the bill because of something else.

the netizen was about to argue with the waiter again when the husband sitting opposite said, "you just ordered, how come you don't remember!"

hearing this, the netizen immediately got angry and shouted to her husband, "I didn't order it. I can just take a look at the bill."

the husband suddenly lost face and immediately roared: "it doesn't matter if he ordered a drink, how much is it?"It's a thing! "

then he said with a straight face, "either don't mention it and continue to eat, or check out and stop eating."

after saying this, the husband turned to check out the bill directly.

throughout the process, the waiter stood beside him, his waist upright and upright.

this little thing is enough to reflect the husband's vague view of right and wrong.

if you can't figure out who's right and who's wrong, you can't figure out the cause of the matter, so you criticize it directly, which will not only hurt the people, but also be very immature.

having the correct ability to distinguish right from wrong is the basic embodiment of adult maturity.

the view of right and wrong also reflects a person's principle and attitude towards problems.

in the face of conflict, distinguishing right from wrong is the manifestation of high EQ.


the communication between adults requires a sense of division that does not need to be stated.

have a sense of propriety in order to give each other the appropriate space to allow the relationship to spread forward.

being able to handle things clearly also represents a kind of self-cultivation, which does not embarrass others or cause trouble to oneself.

being respected by others also makes the relationship between the two people more harmonious.

A story in the book of writer Jia Pingwa is often used by me to warn myself. Every time I read it, I feel the charm of upbringing:

"my friend stutters and speaks slowly.

one day when someone asked for directions on the road, he stuttered unexpectedly, and his friend didn't say a word.

after I asked him why he didn't say, my friend replied, 'people stutter, too. I'm going to answer. That person thinks I'm imitating and teasing.' "

being able to think of others and behave appropriately is a rare high EQ.

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