There are three things in life: don't fight for right or wrong, don't win or lose, don't win or lose.

/June 2022

Lin Yutang said:

instead of arguing about everything, it is better to live a life with an indisputable attitude.

people who are really smart never argue about these three.


there is no dispute between right and wrong

host Ma Dong once said something about his mother in the program.

his mother is 76 years old. Old people are more frugal, and one thing they like to do most is to turn off the lights.

as long as there is no one in the room, she turns off the light as soon as possible.

Ma Dong told his mother at the beginning that turning on and off would affect the service life of the lamp, and it wouldn't cost much electricity to keep it on.

but he found that his mother said yes every time, but it wasn't long before she turned off the light again.

in his mother's eyes, the lights should be turned off in time when no one is around. Leaving the lights on all the time is the most wrong thing to do, while Ma Dong is just the opposite.

in this way, Ma Dong no longer argued with his mother about who was right and who was wrong, and he was happy with his mother whether or not to turn off the lights.

Ma Dong said:

"Saving electricity has become a mother's mindset. Even if you tell her more reasons, saying that you don't have to turn off the lights at any time, she can't change the behavior she has accumulated in the past, so why fight again?"

as the old saying goes, "the benevolent see benevolence, the wise see wisdom."

there is no difference between right and wrong in many things, but only a different personal concept of life.

when a family lives together, it is normal to encounter differences, so there is no need to get red in the face and hurt feelings.

No matter who you get along with, the most taboo thing is to fight for right or wrong in case of trouble.

if you argue with each other, you will only break each other's hearts, and the loss outweighs the gain.

the more you experience, the more you will understand: the most important thing is not who is right and who is wrong, but not because of right or wrong, consume each other's feelings, stranded the distance between each other.

give way to small things, take a step back in big things, and do not fight for right or wrong, so that we can live in harmony and be comfortable with each other.


win or lose

the book "flat as Begonia" records the love story of a couple who have been together for 60 years.

some people say that the two of them are immortal couples and have given their love to each other all their lives.

but life is always trivial, and the two are not without quarrels.

once, when they quarreled, Ping lost his temper and broke a hot kettle, and Meitang burst into tears.

if Ping knows that if he goes on arguing, even if he wins the argument, it will only hurt both of them.

so he stopped quarrelling and took Meitang's hand. Meitang saw that Meitang had bowed his head, and he no longer cared about it, and the two made up again.

Meitang often says that the food is not good, the life skills are not good, and he is still a nerd.

Pingru bought books for her granddaughter, and Meitang complained about him:

Pingru did not argue with Meitang. Listening to Meitang's complaints, he was still happy.

sometimes, the children really can't bear to watch and want to fight for their father's grievances, but Pingru says happily:

Pingru knows that Meitang is a knife mouth and bean curd heart. although it is harsher in the mouth, it is still soft in the heart. These seemingly quarrels are actually small interactions between two people who are in love.

there are so many trifles in the life of two people. If you have to win or lose everything, it will not only hurt feelings, but also make each other physically and mentally exhausted.

Pingru and Meitang, the reason why they become the envy of the immortal companion, but no matter what happens, will not be flushed, but know how to keep a low profile and tolerate each other.

as there is a saying:

those who like to win or lose have already lost, won the reason, and lost their hearts in the process of fighting.

in many cases, the more you fight, the less you get; the more you fight, the easier it is to lose.

those who know how to love know how to make concessions at the right time; those who do not argue are more likely to be treated kindly by life.

not fighting to win or lose is not only a kind of open-minded, but also a kind of wisdom.

only by not fighting to win or lose can we really win in the end.


Don't fight for gain and loss

A small clerk in a company has been living a quiet and dull life.

once, he had nothing to do and spent two yuan on a lottery ticket.

there was no expectation, but it was purely bought for entertainment. But unexpectedly, he won a big prize.

because he usually likes sports cars, he uses his bonus to buy one and goes for a ride all day.

however, misfortune came soon and his car was stolen.

his friends came over to comfort him, but he smiled and said to his friends:

his friends were a little confused. He went on to explain:

faced with gains and losses, the clerk did not pay too much attention to it, but accepted it with peace of mind. In this way, all the losses will not hurt him at all.

there is a saying in Zhuangzi: "gain but do not like, lose but not worry."

Don't be too happy when you get it, and don't be too sad when you lose it.

all our lives, we live between loss and gain.

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getting what you want is indeed a happy thing, but losing what you love is not necessarily a bad thing.

as the saying goes, "if you lose a horse, how can you know that it is not a blessing?"

gain and loss is not absolutely good or bad, but a circulation of misfortune and good fortune.

Zeng Guofan also said:

people who care too much about gains and losses are easily trapped by gains and losses.In your heart, you have to worry about gain and loss.

when you underestimate the gains and losses, you will have a free and easy sense of "nothing is light".

everything anyone gets is temporary.

A hundred years later, dust to dust, dust to dust, who can take what?

when people walk in the earthly world, it is normal to gain and lose money.

only when you are calm and indifferent, can you really live in peace.


for the rest of my life, be quiet but not contend with

as the saying goes, "if you want to be a big tree, don't fight with grass."

in fact, many troubles in life come from the word "struggle".

contend with others, with oneself, with life, until the end, you will find that

Life is but a game of chess.

Don't argue about right or wrong, be more tolerant, have less disputes, and you will feel more comfortable.

do not win or lose, more concessions, less disputes, life will be easier and happier.

do not fight for gains and losses, more bearish, less obsession, life will be more calm and calm.

Life is too short. Quiet and undisputed is the great wisdom of life.

May we all be able to win or lose at will, be the best of ourselves, and not compete with anyone.