The wife yelled at her children and was kicked by her husband: the best education is for the whole family to listen to their mother.
did you encounter a problem after you had a baby?
is that there is always someone who wants to beat back the child you have worked so hard to educate.
as soon as my little niece was full moon, my sister sent my mother and her mother-in-law home.
because in only one month, the little nephew was misled by the old man.
the culprit is my mother, and my grandmother is also an accomplice.
my mother dotes on her children. My nephew is just in the first grade and it is a difficult time.
so, the habits that my sister had helped him develop, such as doing homework before watching TV at home, could be compromised with my mother.
how tired the children are when they get home. After a whole day of class, eat some fruit, watch TV and write homework party.
this procrastination, many times do not write.
the old man said confidently:
\ "what are the urgent lessons for freshmen? that's how easy it is for you to be admitted to college.\"
well, if you say no, you're really out of breath.
I really need to talk about this seriously.
when educating children at home, it is best to listen to one person, and this person had better be the mother, otherwise, the child's education will really go wrong.
some time ago, I also saw a piece of news, which was also quite shocked.
because of the child's homework problem, the father sent the mother to the hospital.
it can be seen that educational differences are not only in my family, but also a common problem.
Why does parenting have to listen to the mother?
this is forced by reality.
in fact, more accurately, those who have the most children, are responsible for their children, have the concept of scientific parenting, and are willing to keep learning can become the top parenting officers at home.
if this person is a father or an old man, of course, but in real life, this person is mostly a mother.
most elderly people are doting, and they can't help but indulge their children, make them happy, and even try to save trouble and appease them, rather than being responsible for them.
for example, many mothers control their children to eat chocolate for fear that their children are too fat and have rotten teeth.
but many old people will secretly give food to their children to appease their crying, or simply want to make them happy.
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when giving food to children, they don't forget to add: "Don't let your mother know."
this is teaching the child to cheat. If the mother asks him if he has eaten, he will say that he has not eaten.
do you say irritating?
good habits are not easy to form. Breaking them so irresponsibly not only makes the child gain an inch, but also undermines the authority of the mother and the relationship between the child and the mother.
if the elderly take care of the children the most, are not spoiled, are responsible for the children, and have the ability to learn scientific parenting, then of course it is best to listen to the elderly.
but the ideal is very plump, the reality is very bony, such old people are not common.
not to mention, in today's Chinese society, it is rare for fathers to take care of more children than mothers.
for example, the father in the news is even more irresponsible. When he comes home, he knows how to play with his cell phone, regardless of the child's study, and the wife takes care of it.
in my opinion, he is not qualified to speak out.
of course, this is another topic. What we are talking about today is what to do when there are differences in educating children.
the kind of problem in the news, where the husband doesn't want to educate his children at all and is violent, he needs to discuss whether it is necessary for the marriage to continue rather than how to educate the children.
therefore, under the premise that everyone is responsible for the children, if there are educational differences, it is best to listen to the mother.
you know, a mother has to grind her mouth ten thousand times and break down a thousand times in the face of a bear child every day before she teaches a good habit.
at this time, family members sing a different tune, and all their previous efforts are wasted at once.
I gave an example before. One morning, my neighbor fought with his children for a long time. The ghosts were so howling that I couldn't sleep at all. The mother asked the child to put on his own shoes.
the child just didn't wear it and said, "Grandpa gives it to me, but if you don't give it to me, why are you so bad?"
Mom said, "before Grandpa comes, you will wear it by yourself, and you have to do what you can do."
Child: "I don't, I want you to wear it."
Mom: "do you need someone else to dress you when you go to kindergarten?" No one will wear it for you. Wear it yourself. "
Child: "I don't like you anymore. I want my grandfather."
Mom: "Grandpa is not here. I'll take you if you want to find grandpa. You have to wear it yourself today."
Child: "Dad wears it for me, Grandma wears it for me, but you don't give it to me, just you, Dad, Dad."
Mom: "Dad won't dress you, you have to do your own things."
the child gave in after tearing his heart and crying for a long time.
Child: "look, I'm wearing it. I can't put it on. I just can't put it on."
Dad: "Let's get him dressed and go."
Child: "Dad, give it to me!"
the child has just tried to wear it by himself, and his father, in a word, goes back to before liberation.
the child is so smart that if the rules are broken once, he will know that he can bargain.
the most important thing for children to cheat and break good habits is to develop a sense of right and wrong.
in the eyes of young children, even if what parents say is true, they will unconditionally agree with it and regard it as themselves.The rule.
at this time, if there is a difference between adults, the child will be confused.
he doesn't know who to listen to, and with the cognitive ability of a preschooler, it's impossible for him to tell who's right.
therefore, parents must teach their children to have a United front and never have differences in front of their children.
No matter how right your educational methods are, you can't disagree with your children.
because the best way of education in the world is for the whole family to use one method.
No parenting method is more important than family harmony
the purpose of the educational United front is to let families avoid quarrels and give children a clear guide.
but completely unified, just ideal.
most of the time, people think that they are right to each other, and it is very difficult to listen unconditionally.
so, you can also take the second approach.
that is not to disagree in front of the child. If you do not agree with each other's educational methods, then find a quiet place for two people to explore a compromise.
would rather compromise with each other than destroy family harmony.
No matter how correct the parenting method is, it is not worth destroying family harmony.
We teach children to relax and not to educate with the idea of creating a perfect child.
actually compromise a little, reach an agreement, the effect seems to be a little slower, or even deviate a little bit for a while, but as long as the family is harmonious, it is worth it.
people always have some shortcomings and eccentricities. As long as the general direction of education is right, children will not go wrong.
moreover, when the family environment implements an educational standard in principle.
every once in a while, you don't have to kill them all.
in fact, children learn to deal with different people a little differently, which is a good skill.
that's where it comes from when you see people talking and talking to hell.
what should I do if it is too difficult to communicate with the elderly?
since the birth of his little niece and his sister's neglect of discipline, he has had a lot of problems.
for example, eating snacks before meals leads to inability to eat.
my teeth are broken after only a few months without brushing my teeth before going to bed.
coupled with the destruction of study habits.
if the child goes on like this, he will be remote.
I taught my sister a few methods, and the results are good. You can refer to them.
1. Let the husband play a role
Sister lists the issues of principle to the brother-in-law so that the brother-in-law can communicate with his parents.
the effect is good, and the old man is willing to listen to his own son.
whose parents take care of it.
so in the communication between parents-in-law, it is really important for the husband to be helpful.
Don't go up by yourself blindly, it's easy to wipe the gun and misfire. You think you're communicating with your children's education, and the old people think you're finding fault, so it's hard to talk about it.
it's not that the old man is unreasonable, it's mainly this kind of relationship, and it's not as much as the son can say.
2. Inadvertently give popular science to the elderly
most of the time the elderly are not intentional, and they do not know what the consequences will be.
so you can forward some popular science articles to moments, family groups and so on, such as the video and audio lectures of some experts and scholars, not deliberately, but carelessly.
to make sure everyone sees it, you can also work with your husband to discuss the problems mentioned in the retweeted article in the group, especially the similar situation that has happened at home.
for the elderly, what the experts say is often more correct than what the people around them say.
you can also often forward popular science articles with serious consequences.
for example, tie a child's sleeve with a belt, causing the child to amputate.
serious consequences can immediately put an end to some bad habits.
Old people love their children very much.
3. Strengthen your authority among your children
and take my neighbor as an example.
the child with no shoes still wears his own shoes now.
because mom really never compromises.
No matter how the child is treated with his grandparents.
as long as you go home, you must abide by the rules of the family.
with such strict stroking, the child will form a good habit, but it will be a little more difficult.
the environment cannot be changed, so be strict with yourself.
strengthen your role, do your best, and try your best to teach your children to the best.
families with considerate fathers and mothers are the happiest
I know, looking at this, some people may ask.
listen to your mother? Is mom sure to be right?