The way adults end a relationship

05
/August 2022

do you have such a feeling:

the fate between people disappears instantly.

there is no hysterical collapse or hoarse plea for retention, but a silent alienation.

one does not ask, one does not say, tacitly disappears in each other's circle of friends.

as the tomorrow of Kersville says:

01

Don't ask, it's the greatest maturity after parting

the leaves don't turn yellow in a day, and the heart doesn't cool in a day.

I have heard the story of a reader.

at a party, he accidentally learned from his classmates that his college roommate had got married.

he felt a little strange because he had never browsed this moments at all.

he clicked on the profile picture of his college roommate, only to find that he was blocked.

for a moment, he felt abandoned in his place.

once stayed up late to read books, played ball together, queued up for meals in the canteen together, and agreed to be each other's best man, and finally became strangers.

Tagore has a poem:

alienation between people is sometimes like this:


after separation, they are busy, sometimes they want to talk, but they don't know what to say. Check the minutes of the last chat and stop when you make an appointment to go back to your hometown to get together again.

in the end, none of you brought up this topic again.

if you don't comment on his circle of friends, he doesn't contact you anymore.

after much experience, I will gradually understand that in the adult world, you have your busy schedule, I have my own time to take care of myself, and everyone has his own way to go.

emotional abatement is natural, there is no need to ask questions.

some people can only walk with you for a long time, so take care of yourself for the rest of your life.

A leaf of duckweed returns to the sea.

cherish it when you meet it, and try to let it go when you miss it.

02

unentangled, it is the best decent for adults

Life is a grand party, where there is a gathering, there is separation.

stubbornly clinging to each other will only drain the last favor in a relationship, so it's better to end the encounter with dignity.

everyone knows that Sun Yat-sen's wife is Soong Ching-ling, but few people know that Sun Yat-sen's original wife is a woman named Lu Muzhen.

Lu Muzhen was born into a scholarly family, generous, virtuous and virtuous. She married Sun Yat-sen at the age of 17.

after marriage, the high-spirited Sun Yat-sen was busy with the revolutionary cause, and the number of times the husband and wife met was numbered.

in the days of gathering less and leaving more, while raising children, Lu Muzhen served her mother-in-law and took good care of everything in the family.

in 1915, Sun Yat-sen met Soong Ching-ling by chance, and then the two fell in love.

over and over again, Sun Yat-sen wrote to seek Lu Muzhen's opinion, mentioned whether to agree to divorce, and indicated the reasons for divorce.

Lu Muzhen had mixed feelings when she received a letter from her husband, but she only calmly wrote the word "can" in her reply.

with the deepest love, Lu made the most generous and easy decision.

unentangled, it is the decency and magnanimity of adults.

as said in Rose Island:

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when you fall in love, there are three thousand in the floating world, and there are three in my love: sun, moon and Qing. The sun is the dynasty, the moon is the dusk, and the secretary is day and night.

after separation, I have the pleasure of meeting you, even though it is sad and sad.

from now on, don't fall in love again. If you say goodbye, you will be happy.

03

do not disturb, it is a person's last stubbornness

someone in Zhihu asked: if a person does not contact you, also does not block you, what is the reason?

there is a hot comment:

the movie Manchester by the Sea tells a sad story.

once the man went shopping in the supermarket. Because of carelessness, he came back to find that the house was full of fire.

his son and daughter were in the raging fire, the miracle did not happen, the child died, and he became a sinner.

when his wife divorced him, he also drank to drown his sorrows and had nothing to do, paralyzing himself with decadence.

until years later, he ran into his ex-wife in the street.

his ex-wife hates him very much, but she already has a new family and children.

when leaving, the hostess said to the man, "maybe we can have dinner together sometime."

when the man heard this, he first showed a look of surprise, but a moment later, he refused his ex-wife's kindness: "No." I'd rather not. "

the two bid farewell to each other completely, and there will be no intersection in their lives from now on.

Don't disturb, it's the way adults deal with farewell.

in Sister Sunshine, Nami painted a portrait of a boy she had a crush on in high school, but the crush came to nothing.

after many years, she asked around and finally found the boy she liked.

the boy has become a middle-aged uncle, running a good shop and having his own family.

Nami did not disturb him, but quietly left the painting on his desk and left.

everyone is an adult, they all have their own new lives, and there are more important people in their lives, so it is inappropriate to disturb them at this time.

in the indefinite meeting, Yingying said to Hao Han, "you have all my contact information. Let's go."

I learned later that some numbersI can't get through, and some relationships can never go back.

the ancients used to say that there are four things in life:

to come is accidental, to go is inevitable, to take its course, to let nature take its course.

between coming and going, the highest realm is to learn to be relieved after seeing through the nature of the changes in the world.

the young writer Peng Pai wrote a paragraph:


"We are in a hurry, but we are lonely and tired; we are full of pride, but we cannot hide our wounds; we look back and miss, and our friends have gone far away."

you think that the journey of youth is the same destination, who knows its name will be indefinite. "

in the adult world, meeting is an accident, and parting is the norm.

Life is like the water train in "Thousand and thousand fathom". It has a journey but no circuit.

it's worth rejoicing to meet a bosom friend along the way, but don't regret if you miss it.

the origin is full of joy, and when the fate is over, it ends with dignity. From then on, the mountain has a long way to go, and each takes care of it.

it's like what thousand fathom's friends told her when she came home:

"go ahead and don't look back."