The three most failed ways of educating parents are losing their temper, being reasonable and...

01

I chatted with a friend late last night and had a lot of feelings.

my friend has always thought of herself as an enlightened mother. She said that she had never hit her child in the past more than ten years, and that she always patiently reasoned with her child in case of trouble, hoping to live in harmony with her child and grow up together.

but as the child entered junior high school, a friend found that the warm education method of "spring breeze and rain" was completely ineffective; the son who entered puberty became more stubborn and unwilling to communicate with his parents.

my friend's husband said that if you teach a boy, you have to be "bold and unrestrained". You can't be too kind, or the child won't accept it at all. When the child quarreled with her last week, she moved her hand with the child in a moment of anger, and the two had a cold war for several days. Her friend was very sad. On the one hand, she felt that she had become the parent she hated most before; on the other hand, she felt that her child did not understand herself and did not think about her parents.

in fact, when you think about it, most of the time, everyone is the same, always think that children are heartless, adults are good they can not see, a few heavy words will shake their faces and lose their temper.

parents naturally feel that their children are not sensible, unfilial, and raise a white-eyed wolf.

what we just overlook is to think backwards from the child's point of view: can my educational method really move the child? Will they really listen?

educator Rousseau said:

Don't forget that educating children is a two-way process. Each child has different personalities, habits, and strengths, and children have different physical and mental characteristics in different ages.

therefore, parents should not take it for granted to manage their children with a set of educational methods that they think are effective, but should constantly adjust and adapt to the changes of their children.

02

stop losing your temper for no reason

look at whether a child has a good relationship with his parents, just look at the character of his parents.

the mood of parents is the best feng shui for a family.

A child is like a sapling, which is nurtured by the sun and breeze and drizzle, and can naturally grow healthily and healthily. If you live in mournful wind, bitter rain, lightning and thunder for a long time, you will never grow into a pillar.

the bad mood of many parents comes from the pressure and discontent of their own lives. When they get home, they vent their grievances on their children.

there are also some parents who educate their children with the belief that strict training methods can create a tough will.

the mood of parents is the best feng shui for a family.

A child is like a sapling, which is nurtured by the sun and breeze and drizzle, and can naturally grow healthily and healthily. If you live in mournful wind, bitter rain, lightning and thunder for a long time, you will never grow into a pillar.

the bad mood of many parents comes from the pressure and discontent of their own lives. When they get home, they vent their grievances on their children.

Varied with the smallest details,our formal dresses for teens are your indispensable items. Our collections are versatile enough to suit any figure.

there are also some parents who educate their children with the belief that strict training methods can create a tough will.

do not realize that it is very difficult for children to bear this atmosphere of "militarized management" all the time. In the future, they are either dull, depressed, or impulsive and easy to go to extremes, which is contrary to their parents' original intentions.

I watched a TV play a long time ago. A middle-aged couple quarreled and her husband yelled. Why did you become so gentle and dignified before?

my wife sat on the chair and cried on the spot, saying that you are not me. You work outside all the year round and do not come home. You have never experienced the sadness of one person supporting this family with two children. You will never understand. If our positions are reversed, you may not be able to do better than me.

but we must know that educating children does not take place overnight. it permeates every detail of daily life, and perhaps your word can change the trajectory of your child's life.

so, instead of bossing your child around, think about how to communicate with your child and solve current problems.

when I watched Hunan Satellite TV's parent-child program "after School" before, I remembered a scene very deeply. The child lost his temper, the mother said nothing, directly left the house, leaving the child alone in the room crying.

after almost five minutes, the child's mood stabilized, and the mother came to tell the child gently that at this time, the child was more able to listen to her mother and admit that she had lost her temper before, and the mother and son finally reached an agreement.

this practice is very worthy of our reference.

A lot of mothers tell me that they can't change their bad temper, but on the contrary, you think they can't, because you give yourself psychological cues in advance.

think that "that's it, just can't change it." try to make some efforts, and you will find that controlling your emotions is really not as difficult as you think.

03

endless reasoning

if you teach your children 100 times, it is not as effective as letting them experience a frustration lesson.

Last year, my daughter went to primary school. She may not be used to the transition from kindergarten to primary school. She is always procrastinating and unwilling to finish her homework. When she gets home, she either watches TV or plays with toys and reads books, but she just doesn't want to do her homework.

I told my father many times about her, such as appointment time, reward, tried many methods, and her mouth was worn out, but it was useless.

then I just had a "can break" and stopped talking about homework at all.

my daughter watches cartoons and builds building blocks at night. When it's time to go to bed and see that I don't rush her as usual, she suddenly cries, saying, Mom.Why didn't you rush me?

as soon as I said this, she became even more anxious, saying again and again that I'd better start doing it now. Otherwise, if all the other children are handed in tomorrow, but I don't, what should I do?

I feel a twinge of delight: you finally know that you are in a hurry. But on the surface, it is still calm: daughter, do you think you can finish it in half an hour? If you finish it early, you can go to bed early.

so my daughter stayed up late for the first time in her life that day, and since then, she hasn't bothered us anymore about doing her homework.

this is the true pattern, foresight and wisdom of parents.

the ancients even said, "what you have learned from paper is not profound, you must practice it yourself." if you want your child to know the taste of a pear, you might as well describe it a thousand times and taste it with him.

04

move yourself anytime and anywhere

forget where I read a very touching sentence:

Song Qian, played by Tao Hong in the popular TV series "Little Joy" the year before last, is a typical self-moved parent.

she was heartbroken for her child's third year of high school, saying in her own words:

"is it easy for me to buy food and cook for you and take care of your daily life?" Am I not under much pressure? "

"I am your mother, right? Before dawn, I got up and steamed bird's nest for you. I didn't even want to drink it myself. How about you? There's nothing wrong with your mother, is she? "

just looking at the picture, we can feel the suffocation of our daughter in the play.

there are similar words:

"I have worked hard to raise you for 18 years, do you know how to be grateful?" Do you know how to understand me? "

"A handful of shit and a handful of urine raised you, how did you raise a white-eyed wolf?"

parents say this just to emphasize how hard they are and how much they have paid, but they can't get their children's understanding and gratitude.

however, in such a forced way of "selling miserably", the child will not be moved.

share articles to benefit more parents.