The mother's mood is hidden in the child's character, and the husband's upbringing is hidden in the mother's mood.
not long ago, I saw a piece of news:
in a community in Dandong, Liaoning Province, a couple had a quarrel. When the wife was out of control, she locked the door, opened the gas stove, and wanted to die with her husband.
the wife's mother went to the police for help, and the police called in a professional locksmith to enter the door to confirm the situation.
unfortunately, before we had time to enter the door, there was a sudden explosion at the scene, killing three people and injuring four others.
the people who died were the police, the lock opener and the neighbor's 2-year-old child.
A family dispute has left a family without a father and a family without children.
seeing this, I can't help but feel sorry for the neighbor. The child is still so young, but he is innocent.
also feel worried about the couple's child. A mother who is out of control and a father who doesn't know how to respect is not only the sorrow of the child, but also the sorrow of the whole family.
the mother's mood is hidden in the child's character
Italian early childhood educator Maria Montessori once said:
my friend complained to me that the change in the child's character has become more and more obvious in recent years. The original lively and active little girl laughed at everyone, but now she is introverted and self-abased.
she sighed. "it's my fault, too. Her father and I have quarreled a lot these years. Every time I get out of control, I can't help but get mad at her. When I'm done, I feel like I've done something wrong, but I'm embarrassed to apologize to my daughter."
maybe there is more than one mother like her. for many mothers, the child is an invisible "emotional trash can". Anxiety in marriage and worries in the workplace are imperceptibly transmitted to the child bit by bit. Take it out with the child.
for children, at least an entire childhood will be spent at a loss in the mother's mood. Without the consciousness of active resistance, we can only passively accept shouting, scolding and indifference.
I have seen a funny video on the Internet:
when the mother is in a good mood, the child says to the mother, mother, mother says, Oh, my big baby, what would you like to eat today?
when the mother is in a bad mood, the child says the mother, the mother says, you don't have to be an old mother all day, it bothers you to death.
many people watched this video, smiled and couldn't help crying. There was a message saying: mom, Mom, why do you want to infect me with your emotions?
there is a "kicking cat effect" in the process of emotional transmission.
when a person vents his dissatisfaction with an object that is weaker than himself, there will be a series of chain reactions. It spreads from the top of the pyramid to the bottom, and the weakest one will become the victim with no place to vent.
in the family unit, the child is the bottom victim.
when a child receives too much rubbish from his mother and is unable to give it back to his mother in the same way, his psychology begins to "mutate" and his personality changes accordingly.
as Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, said: the meaning of mother is influence.
and the most important thing is the influence of the mother's emotion on the child's character.
A mother who is emotionally unstable cannot raise a child who is strong, confident and brave, and a mother who is full of negative emotions, nor can she raise a child who is optimistic and full of hope for life.
the hidden pain caused by a mother's emotion to her child is long-lasting. Some people cannot escape the invisible prison until they are grown up and married. When they see their partner making an expression similar to that of their mother, they cannot help but tremble and fear. If there is any conflict and quarrel, they will have no sense of security at all.
or, many years later, when I grow up to the age my mother used to be, I realize that at some point, I have already become another copy of my mother.
A mother's mood hides her husband's upbringing
A message on Douyin reads:
everyone's emotions vent for a reason, especially women.
working mothers should not only take care of their children, but also take time to clean the housework, but also deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also strengthen self-improvement to prevent being eliminated from work.
stay-at-home mothers are even more hard. on the surface, it seems that they just need to take care of household chores and take good care of their children, but to count them, stay-at-home mothers are the real 007, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't know what I don't know where I'm not doing well.
under a lot of pressure, if the husband as a father does not take the initiative to share his wife's work, how can he expect his wife to be in such a good mood?
Dads of many families play games as soon as they get home, can't wake up as soon as they lie down, yell tired as soon as they take care of the children, and say they can't do it as soon as they clean the housework. Mothers are helpless and aggrieved, how can they be emotionally stable?
not only to earn money is to support the family, but also to educate the children, accompany the wife, share the housework and deal with the family relationship. In more than 30 years of marriage counseling, Dr. Emerson Agridge, a famous marriage expert, has found that
the true meaning of running a family and marriage is love and respect.
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A truly educated husband will not put all the housework that should be shared by husband and wife on his wife alone.
it's not just keeping silent when his wife loses her temper and in a bad mood, snores at night, and wakes up the next day like a carefree person, leaving her alone with worry and depression.
A truly educated husband will know how to respect and love his wife, respect his wife's contribution to the family, respect his wife's emotional performance, respect his wife's love, and respect his wife's complaints.
he will take the initiative to take responsibility for the family, and he will also take the initiative to help.Help his wife solve problems she can't do, and take the initiative to spend time with and educate her children.
Love and marriage expert John. Gray said:
A happy family must have a basic premise: father loves mother.
only in this way can the mother's mood be stable and the child's character not distorted by bad family relationships.
after all, the child's happiness depends on the mother, while the mother's happiness depends on the father.
Children are copies of their parents, and they will pay attention to the good, the bad, what you want to teach the child, and what you don't want to show the child.
as parents, what we can do is not only to try our best to create a better educational environment for our children, but also to change what we can change.
1 if you have emotions when you go home, first deal with your emotions, and then get in touch with the children.
2 if you can't control your emotions carefully, apologize to your child in time and explain your reasons for venting your emotions. Sometimes, you can ask your child to help you relieve it.
3 try to find a substitute for emotional venting, such as reading, running, doing yoga, drinking tea, meditation, etc., to calm yourself down and form a habit that will make your temper less grumpy.
1 come home from work, on weekends and holidays, take the initiative to do housework with your wife, rather than what your wife says to do.
2 when the wife is emotionally unstable, don't pretend not to see it, and don't complain blindly. Try to understand the source of the wife's emotions, help her alleviate, love her more, and her emotions will be relieved quickly. Husband's love is always the most useful mood reliever.
3 No matter how busy you are at work, you have to spend regular time with your wife and children every week. No matter how much money you have, you can't buy company. Well-known entrepreneurs who are busy have fixed time to spend with their families. Most of the time, "too busy" is just an excuse. It's just that in some people's consciousness, "spending time with their families" is not very important.
May every child grow up happily in a relaxed family atmosphere and live the way he should have.