The most advanced EQ: make people comfortable

/October 2022

as the saying goes, "good words are warm in three winters, but evil words hurt people in June."

speaking is also an art. Some people have a clumsy mouth but never hurt others, while others seem to be sharp-tongued, but their words are prickly.

stay away from such people and socialize with people who are comfortable to talk in order to maintain a long-term relationship.


people with knife mouth also have knife heart

Zhihu has such a question: "what kind of people do you hate most?"

the next reply reads:

"the most annoying person is: always poking at your sore spot, exposing your shortness, and then you turn your face, and then you can't afford to joke, saying that you are too sensitive. I'm just joking, and you take it seriously. But when you give it back in the same way, you will still be told about such a little thing. "

I think so.

for a long time, we all believed the saying: "A knife's mouth makes a bean curd heart."

means that although some people have strong mouths, they are good with their heart, as soft as tofu, for the good of others.

however, it is gradually discovered that people who have a "knife mouth" actually have a "knife heart".

my cousin is very upset recently.

my cousin has been the apple of her family's eye since she was a child, and her parents respond to her every request, so her cousin always spends a lot of money and never hesitates to buy anything.

but there is a roommate in her dorm who always criticizes her cousin after she has bought something.

my cousin is very aggrieved, but she doesn't care when she thinks that her roommate is kind enough to remind her. She usually shares with her roommate what she buys.

on this day, my cousin bought a bunch of snacks to share with her roommates.

who ever thought that the roommate said, "you are really rich. Do your parents know you buy so many things every day?" I don't know where all your money comes from.

my cousin was angry, so she retorted a few words, but her roommate said she was doing it for her own good.

there is a kind of people in the world who hurt you again and again with the slogan "for your own good".

as long as you retort, they say, "Oh, never mind, I am a knife mouth and a tofu heart."

I don't know that this is an excuse for my dirty little mind.

No one in the world really wants you but family.

stay away from the "knife mouth" around you, don't listen to useless words, and relax your heart.


speaking comfortably, it is an ability

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as the saying goes: learn to speak in three days, learn to shut up all your life.

people who speak comfortably are actually able to respect each other, understand each other, and take care of each other's emotions.

Li Baoli, the heroine in the novel ten thousand arrows through the heart, is a person who can't talk well.

the hostess Li Baoli, the family condition is not good, but thinks she is very beautiful, because Ma Xuewu is a countryman, Li Baoli thinks she is superior to him, and he is lucky to be able to marry him.

even her happy life after marriage is brought about by Ma Xuewu's work.

so she insulted her husband and even beat and scolded her children all day long whenever there was something wrong with her. Later, her husband finally couldn't stand Li Baoli's bitterness and divorced her.

the angry Li Baoli followed her husband, only to find that her husband had changed love. In order to save her husband, she reported her husband for having an affair.

after her husband learned that it was Li Baoli who reported him, the backlog of grievances for many years broke out and jumped off the roof.

after her husband died, Li Baoli did the hardest work to support herself and her son. She paid silently to support her mother-in-law and son.

but the son, who had a deep relationship with his father, learned the truth as an adult, hated her, and ordered her to leave home and never see each other again.

Li Baoli finally did not understand why she had fallen to the point of "ten thousand arrows piercing the heart".

do not know that it is their own unforgiving mouth that has hurt themselves, and if they can communicate well with their husband and children, then the subsequent tragedy will not happen.

Cai Kangyong once said: good speech is an art.

most of the time, what we say is actually a reflection of our heart, and it is comforting and the highest charm of a person.

Don't slander people in front, don't talk nonsense after people, and don't use jokes as an excuse to expose people's weaknesses.

get close to the person who makes you feel comfortable, he is definitely a kind-hearted person.


those who understand you are worthy of your goodness.

there is a saying in Caigen Tan: to make a person have a reputation in front of him, it is better to make him have no destruction behind him; to make a first acquaintance, not to make him feel bored forever.

I have read such a story:

during the Ming Dynasty, a man worked as an official in the capital.

one day, he received a letter from home saying that his family had a quarrel with his neighbors over the foundation, hoping that he would come forward to solve the matter.

he wrote a book immediately after reading it and said, "carrying books for thousands of miles is only for the wall, which makes me laugh and break my heart. If you are benevolent and righteous, it doesn't matter if you give up two feet."

after reading, the family took the initiative to give up a few feet when the house was built, and the neighbors followed suit.