The more parents can put up with these four things, the more confident their children are and the better they grow up.
it is said that raising a child is not achieved overnight, and it is often carved by parents bit by bit.
in this long process, parents must correct their mindset and do not push too hard, because very often, "receiving" is more important than "releasing".
the following four things, the more tolerant parents are, the better they can help their children grow up!
refrain from over-protection of children
there is no doubt that many families have devoted too much love to their children, and once this care has gone too far, it has become a constraint on children.
trapped them to fly forward and bind them to a farther and wider world.
the teenager said that in one issue, a girl accused her parents of "spoiling themselves too much" and turned her into a "high businessman and imbecile".
when she was a child, she could not use chopsticks to eat. Her parents did not teach her how to use them, so they gave her a spoon, so that every time she ate, she only ate and her family just clipped.
this is used in the second year of high school, resulting in her not knowing how to use chopsticks up to now.
when she was in the second year of junior high school, her family began to try to get her to dress herself.
A few days before the program, she tried to pour hot water by herself for the first time. When plugged in, her family was also afraid that she would be electrocuted if she was not careful.
it is the family's airtight love that suffocates her and makes her shout in the program:
it can be seen that when parents take care of their children beyond the boundary, it is not love, but a kind of injury!
if you really love your children, please try to let go and let them explore, make mistakes and grow up. After all, being a parent is one of the most powerful fulfillment!
hold back a little bit of temper
I don't know if you've noticed. After becoming a mother, in addition to the continuous upgrading of skills, the rising temper can not be ignored.
it was always said that after having a baby, be more patient and care more. But every time something happens to a child, our adrenaline always rises out of control.
the baby dillydally does not do his homework, and his teeth itch with anger; the child is naughty and disobedient, so he wants to put it back into his stomach and remake it.
sometimes when a child makes a mistake, the anxious old mother doesn't even have a chance to complain to her child.
I remember that my friend Ting Ting once said something:
once she received a call from her teacher at home saying that her 8-year-old son had a fight with his classmates at school and had torn his clothes.
after listening to this, my friend couldn't sit still at home. As soon as her son got home, she scolded her face:
"have you learned to fight?"
"your father and I worked hard to send you to school to fight. "
later her husband told her that his son fought back because his classmate mischievously broke his clothes and hit him.
my friend felt uncomfortable and wondered: why didn't he tell me at that time?
my husband has a bitter face:
Yes, we are always too eager to scold and lose our temper, so how can we hear the voice of our children?
You will look even more stunning in our tea length wedding dress with sleeves. Just take these selections into consideration.
if we encounter some minor things about our children, we can learn to put up with our bad temper and listen to the voice of our children, which may have a better effect.
resist the behavior of "pulling out seedlings to encourage"
many parents have had a long period of anxiety since they had children.
want the child to be nutritious and healthy, and hope that the child can win at the starting line.
even if anything happens, we have to make the child perfect, especially with the divine assist of "other people's children", my child's life begins to be in deep trouble.
when I watched the parenting show "Super Parental Master" before, there was a mother who liked to use other people's children to stimulate her own children.
"this is not right!"
"write it again."
"the word is so ugly!"
when the mother instructs the child to write, she corrects the mistakes again and again, and must ask the child to write the same as on the template.
but no matter how Youyou writes, the mother is always dissatisfied, and finally gives the most exciting sentence:
after hearing her mother's words, Youyou hung her head on the table, looking very tired and distressing.
in fact, your child is also great, and some bright spots are envied by other parents. Why can't parents see them?
and the child is so young, there is really no need to be so perfect in everything.
as parents, we must understand the truth of "gradual and orderly progress" and refrain from pulling out seedlings to encourage themselves. if we are too eager for success, we will only tire ourselves.
resist the control of "good for you"
in life, many parents will do everything for their children under the banner of being good for you. "I'm your mother. Can I hurt you? just do it."
when I was a child, I forced my child to drink chicken soup and duck soup so that he could grow up quickly.
when he grew up, he would study, work and get married. And it's no surprise that it's interspersed with the sound of "for your own good".
this is the kind of control that makes many children feel miserable and have no autonomy.
in Little Joy, why did Yingzi suffer from depression and then develop the impulse to jump into the sea? in the final analysis, it was her mother's control that made her so depressed that she could not breathe.
from daily life to study and major, my mother weaves a net and controls her firmly.
made her want to catch her breath and escape from her mother's control.
many parents don't understand: IIt's obviously for her own good, but why don't you end up being nice?
that's because you put your will above the child by doing what's best for her, which leads to some crazy behavior of control.
the lack of consultation and consideration of children's preferences and needs leads to a kind of dislocation and diaphragm of affection.
Why don't we put down the high profile of our parents, restrain our control over our children, try to know more about our children, and let our children make more choices, so that we can raise our children more appropriately.
share with you!