The maturity of the middle-aged: let go of face, abstain from emotions, and control desires

Middle age is a watershed in life.

when I was young, I was in high spirits and thought I could control everything.

half of our life has passed, and we are becoming more and more mature and peaceful, so that we can see the true appearance of middle-aged life after the end of a thousand sails.

the greatest maturity in middle age is to let go of face, abstain from emotions, and restrain desires.

01

Save face

there was a question on the Internet: "since when do you realize that you are middle-aged?"

there is a very piercing answer: "from the beginning do not care about other people's eyes, to do things that are humiliating when young."

when we were young, we felt that we had more face than the sky. We always liked to hold on to everything and never bowed our heads.

but at a certain age, with a family and responsibility, "face" becomes an unimportant thing.

Xia Junshan, played by Tong Dawei in the recent hit TV series "Xiao Shedu", is a designer with high eyes, talent and pride.

he came up with a concise and high-end design, and the customer was not satisfied, so he had to knead the vulgar elements into a ball.

he thought that the other party was blasphemous and refused to compromise, so he was forced to give up.

the scene was once very awkward, and even if the person in charge came forward to adjust, it broke up in discord.

however, no matter how tall Xia Junshan is, there will be a day when he is low.

for a place in a tutoring class for his daughter Xia Huanhuan, he asked the client he had offended before.

he waited for hours, rehearsed various conversations, swallowed his anger when ridiculed, and unwillingly praised the client's design.

after painstaking affection, he finally got a place in the tutoring class.

if he saw such a plot when he was young, he felt that he was nothing more than a counselor. It was only when he grew up that he realized that Xia Junshan's bow was a responsibility.

I have heard a saying: children save face more often than adults, because the world is small, so all the little things are not small.

when people reach middle age, as the world grows bigger and responsibilities become heavier, we will eventually realize:

No matter how important face is, it is not worth living; however good-looking it is, it is not worth the well-being of the whole family.

philosopher Santajena said: "our dignity lies not in what we do, but in what we know to do."

bowing your head is not a recognition, but a choice made because of clarity and wisdom.

if you swallow a grievance, you can take responsibility.

giving dignity to the family is the greatest decency for middle-aged people.

02

give up the mood

A student once asked Tsai Chongxin, a well-known entrepreneur,

"what has upset you most in the past years?"

Tsai Chongxin replied calmly: "there seems to be nothing sad, but I have experienced some difficult things to deal with."

A seemingly simple answer actually contains profound wisdom.

being sad is psychological, difficult to deal with, and objective.

when people reach middle age, we have already achieved peace and calmness in the surging waves of time.

A qualified adult has no sadness in his heart and only asks for the result.

when host Li Jing left CCTV to start a business, she had an extremely difficult time.

at that time, she rented a small bungalow full of garbage at the door, went everywhere to attract investment under the pressure of millions in debt, and was often so busy that she didn't even have time for a drink.

have meetings, publicize their own programs, and rush to all kinds of entertainment.

when anxiety and stress are too great to relieve, she finds a place where there is no one to cry.

but as soon as she arrives at the door, she will dry her tears and open the door as if nothing had happened.

early the next morning, she went out hopefully again.

now, more than a decade later, she has gradually changed from a hostess who entered Beijing alone to an entrepreneur worth more than 100 million.

if it were not for those pains and tears, without the experience of heartache and blood swallow, she might not have such a dazzling person as she is now.

Fu Seoul said in "Strange Theory": "the collapse that cannot be hidden is just a scar, and the collapse that is hidden is a medal."

are the grievances that hit us in the face, the thoughts that can't sleep over and over again in the middle of the night, carving us into the best appearance.

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when one reaches middle age, life is half-sloping, things are endless, and tears are dry.

even if everyone inevitably experiences wind and rain, we still keep the cry signs for ourselves to digest.

even if life is difficult, we still choose to put aside our emotions, and after wiping away our tears late at night, the dawn is still as sonorous as ever.

the greatest self-consciousness of a person in middle age is to be a quiet person.

not emotional or looking back.

only in the bitter sea of years, quietly cultivate themselves, in the long road of life, live to be their own ferryman.

03

abstain from desire

I have heard that there is a kind of monkey in Algiers who likes to steal farmers' rice.

later, farmers developed a special capture method according to the characteristics of monkeys.

they tied a gourd-shaped bottle to a big tree and filled it with the monkey's favorite rice.

the ingenious design of this bottle is that the monkey's claws are just enough to reach in, but when they grab a handful of rice, they can't get them out.

until the next morning, when the farmers came to catch them, they were still squatting in place.Holding a handful of rice tightly in his hand.

the reason why farmers catch a monkey is to take advantage of the monkey's greedy nature and calculate that they will never give up the rice in their hands.

each of us spent the first half of our lives like a monkey who couldn't break free of desire. we went on the road with an empty basket and picked up some pebbles called wealth, status and fame.

wait until halfway through the journey, only to find that you are already overwhelmed.

at this time, we should learn to abandon and eliminate.

Beijing Opera actress Wang Xianyu, known as "Little Meng Xiaodong", won all kinds of Beijing Opera awards when she was in her twenties.

with all kinds of honors, she has also been lost.

earn 8,000 in the good times, spend 5,000, indulge in eating in the trough, and gain more than ten jin in a short period of time.

later, a passage from her teacher woke her up:

"Don't sing for a living, so that you can sing noble and have no material desires, and the rest is the desire for Beijing Opera itself."

since then, she has given up meat and put on affordable clothes. As for the famous brand she once pursued, she smiled and said, "I can afford it, but I can choose not to buy it."

later, she brought Beijing Opera to more young people through Internet channels.

she is more popular and sober than before:

"keep a certain distance from fame and wealth, not too red, there will be interference if it is too red.

people's desires are endless, they are even more popular when they are popular, and they also need to have money when they are rich. They need a lot of self-consciousness and self-cultivation in order to suppress themselves. "

she stripped off layers of desire for material, focused on Beijing Opera itself, but in simplicity and simplicity, she touched the true meaning of art.

I have heard a saying that true maturity is to have a pursuit in life, a bottom line in life, and a trade-off in life.

the greatest sorrow in life is to pursue infinite desires with limited energy, and then sink down and miss out on the most precious things in life.

A person's life is bound to have ups and downs. No matter you are in a peak or a trough, do not be controlled by desire and excessively deplete yourself in pessimism or ecstasy.

the second half of life, try to abandon all kinds of temptations, give up the obsession that you can't ask for.

Life is as simple as it is complicated, and the days are endless.

Life is a journey, different ages, we see different scenery, have a completely different mood.

in the first half of our lives, we are in a hurry and busy grabbing; for the rest of our lives, we might as well leave our baggage and travel light.

Let go of face and take good care of your family; control your emotions and settle down first; control your desires and simply return to your heart.