The highest self-cultivation is to respect other people's values.

03
/August 2022

what are the three values?

some people say that the three values are the world outlook, outlook on life, and values, and the position and point of view in which we look at things.

that's true. There are 10000 kinds of people in this world, and there are 10000 kinds of values.

sometimes, the differences between people's values are even greater than those in the Mariana Trench.

people with different values need not persuade each other, but they should respect each other.

01

on the high-speed train, a father is educating his adolescent son.

he painstakingly advised his children to study hard and not to desert in class, and cited some inspirational stories of successful entrepreneurs when they were young.

my son was so impatient that he even played games, and later closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

anyone with discerning eyes can see the huge gap between father and son. The father talks endlessly, but the child turns a deaf ear to it.

from the standpoint of parents, educating you is for your own good. How can such an old child not be sensible?

the child doesn't care, and the old sermons are annoying to death.

what was supposed to be the most intimate family relationship, but they live as if they don't understand each other.

such examples are not uncommon:

for example, you don't like this major at all, but your parents advise you to have a prospect;

you really don't want to get married, and your family advises you to marry someone who is similar.

you don't want a second child at all, and your family advises you to "have another one, have another one".

because the values are different, no one can convince each other.

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in fact, the three values are the furthest distance between people.

the three values are different. Even if they live together under the same roof, they will not speculate for more than one sentence. Even if they are thousands of miles apart, they are like sitting opposite each other.

if people with different values have to force each other, it is a disaster, regardless of family affection, friendship, or love.

02

allow other people's values

to be different from their own

singer Li Ronghao has criticized some netizens on the Internet.

on the stage of The Voice of China, Li Ronghao chose an online song for the students called "your pub is closed for me", but he was bombarded by netizens.

most netizens commented:

Internet songs are difficult to get into the hall of elegance, which is simply too low.

according to the usual practice, stars will immediately issue a statement to apologize when they are criticized by netizens.

but Li Ronghao thinks this is wrong and should not negate a work just because he likes it.

he posted on Weibo:

Don't use your values to ask the world, and allow others to like what you don't like.

that's absolutely right.

too many people in life ask others in the name of "three values".

if you have done something wrong, you should do it my way; they use their own shallow values to evaluate other people's principles and correct other people's ways of doing things with their own single values.

do not realize that the three values are the standard of behavior that restricts oneself, not the moral requirement of kidnapping others.

the world is rich and can accommodate many different ideas, as long as you don't hurt others, there is no right or wrong.

people who are vulnerable will ask others to agree with their own values;

narrow-minded people will use their own single values to ask others;

and strong people, broad people, will use a tolerant state of mind, allow each kind of different to exist. I used to chat with a friend who came back from abroad.

he said that in foreign countries, beggars are also a way of life, they do not want to stay in the office as a tool, do not have too much material desire, and yearn for a free and unrestrained life.

even so, they have dignity. You don't have to give, but you can't disrespect it.

in this world, there are too many ways of life that we can't understand. We don't want to agree with each other, but ask for mutual respect.

philosopher Hegel said: "existence is reasonable."

it is everyone's different values that make up this rich world.

if everyone were uniform, the world would be too boring.

what we need to do is to eliminate inherent prejudices, accommodate different views, and allow others to be different from ourselves.

03

the top accomplishment

is the respect for other people's values

in Ode to Joy, QuXiao Shu and Dr. Zhao were originally a pair that had nothing to do with each other.

Dr. Zhao is highly educated and professional, not only interested in reading, but also elegant in interest, with the lofty dignity of intellectuals.

by contrast, Quxiao is more like the bad students in the class who don't like to study.

once, when they played cards with Andy and Mr. Wei, Andy teased Mr. Wei: "Dear Lady Macbeth, your hands are not clean either."

qu Jie didn't understand the allusions of Macbeth, so he laughed at Mr. Wei.

Dr. Zhao's face changed at that time, and his upbringing made him unable to accept that his girlfriend was not only uneducated but also impolite.

even broke up at one point, but in the end, the feelings for the girlfriend overcame the gap between the two.

he likes QuXiao gauze precisely because her ancient spirit is strange and unreasonable, but her aura is also accompanied by a low level of education and unrestrained speech.

he can't just like the good side of her and reject the other side of her. In the end, he choseAccept the other side of Quxiao gauze, resulting in a "love story".

there are no two identical leaves in this world, and there are no identical values in this world. If there is, it is another term for tolerance, understanding, respect and appreciation.

I have heard a saying that makes a lot of sense:

you can disagree with people and things you can't understand, but you need respect.

respecting other people's values and tolerating their differences is not only a kind of EQ, but also a kind of self-cultivation.

04

I have heard a very reasonable saying:

the world is full of differences, but respect and understanding make the world colorful and allow everyone to coexist.

respecting other people's values is a pattern, understanding other people's difficulties, is a kind of kindness.

people who have seen the vast world know how to respect each other's differences.

the three values are different, so there is no need for forced integration; do not need to blame, learn to respect.

spend the rest of your life with people who respect you, and distance yourself from people who don't understand you.

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