The father decides how high the child flies, and the mother decides how far the child flies.

/June 2022

in family education, the father is the child's role model, and the father's pattern often determines the height that the child can reach in the future.

Children who grow up in fatherly love have strong sense of security, confident sunshine, dare to try, dare to break through, and often have a higher upper limit.


the pattern of fathers

determines how high a child can fly

some psychologists have pointed out that children tend to regard their father as their idol before the age of 12.

Children often have a strong admiration for their father and regard him as a symbol of wisdom and strength.

Children will subconsciously imitate their father's behavior. After the mental maturity, will try to reach or exceed the height of the father.

Zeng Jize, the son of Zeng Guofan, is an example. Zeng Jize follows his father's example and learns from his father in dealing with the world and being an official. After that, he became an official in North Korea and showed no less ability than his father in political affairs.

and compared with mothers, fathers generally do not dote on their children, they often point out a direction for their children to arrive with their own strength.

Children have more room to play, and they can also exercise their ability of self-reliance.

therefore, the best education for fathers to give their children is not considerate care of everything, but determined education that guides the direction.

A good father must set a good example for his children in terms of pattern and determination, which will determine the upper limit that children can reach in the future.


sufficient fatherly love

ensures children's sense of security

with the increase in the cost of education, fathers, as the breadwinner of the family, often bear tremendous financial pressure. In order to work, they often spend little time with the family, which results in a huge lack of education for their children.

Children who lack fatherly love in childhood often lack sense of security. They all say that fatherly love is like a mountain, and when children don't have a solid support around them, they will become inferiority complex and anxiety.

after growing up, children can't get rid of this sense of insecurity even if they become a strong adult.

such children are easy to stick to conventions in their careers, fear of failure, dare not break through and innovate, and dare not make new attempts.

this often makes his career limited, unable to break through the inherent situation and open up a new world, which seriously restricts the height that his personal career can achieve.

so no matter how busy you are, a father must spend more time with his children.

Father's love will make children feel that they have a strong enough backing. When sense of security is produced, they will be more confident in doing things instead of being timid. In family education, the mother also plays an important role, the mother's unique tenderness and tolerance can let the child develop a generous character.

and the mother's own self-cultivation often affects the moral character and personality of the child's life.


the cultivation of mothers

determines the moral character of children

A caring Girls Association in Austria has a very famous question: if a family has a pair of children, but only one sum of money for education, who will you vote for?

their answer is: vote for girls.

because you educate a boy, you educate only one individual, and when you educate a girl, you educate a family, a nation, and a country.

this is not an empty statement, in a family, the mother's self-cultivation determines the moral character of the child.

in infancy, people's consciousness is very simple, their behavior is not fixed, and they have a unique attachment to their mother psychologically.

mothers' behavior, ideology and morality are easy to leave a deep impression on the minds of their children, and gradually form the initial concepts of good and evil, true and false, good and bad, right and wrong, and how well the foundation of this period is laid. Will determine what kind of person they become.

as the famous educator Sukhomlinski said in his book Family Pedagogy:

A person's moral character determines whether he can gain a foothold in society. Whether we can get along well with others and whether we can avoid making mistakes of principle in the face of major right and wrong.

such a person may not have a very amazing performance, but it lies in steadiness, long endurance, and naturally the road of life can go further.


motherly love is like water

gentle and generous

We often say that mothers tend to be more gentle and lenient to their children, and fathers tend to be more severe. Female characteristics determine that mothers tend to be more tolerant, understanding and patient in education.

so for children who grow up in single-parent families, girls raised by their fathers tend to be more like boys and tend to have a more direct temper.

Bothered to buy the most suitable dress and of agreeable price? royal blue dress may give you the answer. Let them shower you with a display of exquisite taste.

Boys raised by their mothers are generally more gentle and generous, more inclusive, and do not like to be aggressive.

Laozi said: "soft and strong", knowing how to be tolerant is often more powerful than blindly strong.

Hu Shi is a good example. Hu Shi's father died at the age of three and was brought up by his mother. although he is a progressive youth, he has tolerance and generosity that that generation did not have.

in his article recalling his mother, Hu Shi also pointed out that the leniency in his character benefited from his mother's education.

Hu Shi's wife Jiang Dongxiu is illiterate, likes playing mahjong, often does not cook for Hu Shi, and is still very grumpy, but Hu Shi tolerates it like this, and the two have tolerated each other for the rest of their lives.

Mother's unique tenderness and tolerance can let children develop a lenient way of dealing with others, such children are not sharp, after stepping into society, often have a strong ability to adapt.

Children influenced by mothers, after adulthoodThe degree of mental health is also much higher than the average, career development, interpersonal relationships are relatively stable, not prone to drastic changes.


Family education is indispensable

in today's children's education, it is far from enough to rely on school education alone. Father and mother are the ones who affect the child's life.

in family education, both father and mother are indispensable, and the lack of either side may lead to an imbalance in the development of children.

therefore, every father and mother should give full play to their own advantages and give their children the best education where they are good at.

only in this way can children develop in an all-round way, so that children can fly both high and far, and have a successful and happy life.