The best rest of life: don't care, don't force, don't explain

/June 2022

I always hear people complain that "I'm so tired to live".

in fact, sometimes many troubles come not from the outside world, but from themselves.

like the saying: "True maturity is not how much you see, but how much you despise."

when something happens, if you don't care about it, don't force it, or explain it, your heart will naturally be less tired.


my colleague, Sister Qing, who has always been grumpy, looks down on trifles and ignores

. Recently, the whole person has become soft, and even said to me: "as a man, you don't have to worry too much, you don't have to worry about it, it's all for nothing."

it turned out that a neighbor who had always been at odds with her family suddenly died of a sudden illness not long ago, which made Sister Qing feel that all the previous quarrels were meaningless.

I still remember that I had heard Sister Qing say a lot about the disputes between the two families, which were nothing but trifles.

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the most impressive time, when the neighbor was decorating, he put some decoration materials at the door, which made it more inconvenient to get in and out of Sister Qing's house.

during that time, Sister Qing had a lot of arguments with her neighbors, and she denounced them to everyone.

on one occasion, Sister Qing called her neighbor during her spare time at work. As a result, it was conceivable that Sister Qing quarreled with her neighbor on the phone again.

after putting down the phone, I saw that Sister Qing's heart fluctuated sharply, and she felt the anger in her face far away.

and this indigestible bad mood directly led to an irreparable mistake in an important work of Sister Qing in the afternoon, which was severely criticized by the leader.

if Sister Qing had been open-minded now, she probably wouldn't have let herself into trouble.

Life is like a reverse journey. you and I are both passers-by in a hurry. If we have quarreled, we might as well muddle along.

I like an ancient poem very much:

Yes, sometimes we always feel that we worry too much, but in fact, we just care too much.

Smart people have learned to let go and let go of their worries.


follow the heart, not reluctantly

read a sentence: "whoever feels hard is forced."

in life, there are some things you really don't have to force yourself. if you have to consider the feelings of others, who will take care of your own joys and sorrows?

netizen @ Xiaonian once shared one of her experiences.

once Xiao Nian was in a hurry to make a plan. As a result, a female colleague had to pick up her child from school. Please Xiao Nian to help her with the finishing touches.

although Xiaonian really wanted to refuse, looking at each other's sincere expression, the word "no" could not be said.

"if I refuse, she will be very disappointed."how bad it looks like me. I don't want to be a bad guy."

with such an idea, Xiaonian agreed to his colleague's request, resulting in a delay in his own affairs. Party A was picky in every way, and the boss was also very dissatisfied with it.

in the three years since Xiaonei joined the job, similar things have happened every day, with nothing but grievances, which makes him /her feel terrible.

in Xiao Nian's share, many netizens commented that they had experienced a similar thing: they had to force themselves because they were afraid that others would have a bad opinion of them when they didn't want to do something.

it is true that sometimes we are used to putting the opinions of others first and ignoring our own hearts.

but do not know, blindly force themselves, in addition to let others can not see our bottom line, but also make their own pain.

there is a sentence in "lovely Curse":

if you don't want to help, say "sorry" to refuse;

Don't compromise because of irrelevant people;

listen to other people's advice and learn to make your own decisions.

We don't have to force ourselves to move others. After all, everyone's heart is different. We just have to follow our own heart.

all we need to be responsible for is our own "heart" and our own hot life.


be yourself and do not explain

there is a saying in the Book of songs: "those who know me say I am worried, and those who do not know me say what I want."

those who understand you know what you think, while those who don't, even if they explain it a thousand times, will only think that you are unreasonable or want something else.

living in the world, it is difficult to adjust the mouth of others.

you are kind, some people will say you are hypocritical;

you are excellent, some people will say you are lucky;

you are cheerful, some people will say you are stupid;

if you are a maverick, you should be no stranger to the tone of "false arrogance".

what other people think, we can't control it. We can only be ourselves and live our lives quietly.

at the beginning, Li Shanglong, who was still starting a rough business, accidentally received an editorial contract. In order to get a fee of 40,000 yuan to renew the rent, he agreed without even thinking about it.

unexpectedly, his book "you just look hard" received a good response.

as the book becomes a bestseller, more and more people know him and praise him, but the shrill voice follows.

at that time, some people wrote articles to analyze and scold him on some websites.

at first, seeing that he was scolded by others, it was difficult to accept it for a moment, so he decided to write an article to scold himself to gag others.

But after writing it, he suddenly realized that it was a complete waste of time.

"No matter what you say, someone will scold you, someone will praise you, no matter what kind of person you become, some people like you, and some people hate you.

but if you like yourself, at least one person in the world will like you. "

after he had figured it out, he deleted the article he had written.

after that, he continued to write, writing what he wanted to write, no matter how busy he was, he would write for three or four hours a day.

later, he wrote many inspirational stories about growing up, which awakened many confused young people and became very influential young writers.

Haruki Murakami once said:

it is true that people who don't know you are not because they don't know you, but because they don't want to know you at all.

for these people, no amount of explanation will only add to the annoyance.

sometimes, without explanation or rebuttal, the best response is to spend time on yourself as if nothing had happened.


the rest of my life is very expensive. Please don't waste a saying

there is a very good saying:

"We longed for the waves of fate so much that at last we found that the most beautiful scenery in life is inner calmness and calmness.

We were so looking forward to the recognition of the outside world that we finally knew that the world was our own and had nothing to do with others. "

time is silent, but it teaches us life.

less care, the mind will be a little more open;

less reluctant, life will be free and easy for a day;

less explanation, life will be indifferent.

three thousand prosperous, flick fingers in a moment; the less in the rest of life, the more precious.

the future is not long, so don't waste your time on people and things that are not worth it.

there are no good years, learn to be bearish, so you won't be so tired.

in this way, flowers will bloom for the rest of my life.