"son, why did I advise you not to take care of your wife and children!" The mother's words woke up countless people.

son:

after thinking for a long time, my mother decided to write you a letter.

I heard that a few days ago, you quarreled with Frost and made her so angry that she directly took the child back to her mother's house.

knowing that you quarreled because you didn't take care of the children, your mother had mixed feelings.

especially when I hear you complain to me on the phone:

when I hear you say that you are "helping" Frost take care of the kids, even I don't want to be on your side.

as for the reason, you can understand after reading the following stories that Mom told you.

01

A really good husband,

never "help" his wife with her children

Last weekend, your father and I went to the hospital to get blood pressure pills and saw such a scene in the hospital corridor. I'm impressed until now.

A young mother, with a large mother's bag on her back and a sleeping child in her arms, is waiting in line for registration.

next to her, the child's father has been playing games with his cell phone.

after a while, the baby kept crying when he woke up.

the mother of the child hugged him and coaxed him, but also put the bag down and struggled to find milk powder and bottles to soak the baby.

because the child has been holding his mother and refusing to give up, she has to ask the child's father for help.

but the father, who is active in playing games, just replied impatiently:

"Why can't you even take care of a child?" I'll help you after I finish playing this game! "

the word "help" is particularly harsh.

even if he takes his child to see a doctor, he looks like he doesn't mind his own business. it is conceivable that it is impossible for this father to fulfill the duties of a husband and a father in his life.

what is completely different from him is the father in a video on the Internet not long ago.

late at night, the wife sits on the bed, holding the baby and putting the child to bed.

the husband was worried that his wife was too tired, so he sat behind his wife and used his back as a backrest for his wife.

how long the wife coaxed the child, and he sat with him for how long. He didn't lie down and sleep with his wife until he put the child down.

this is the posture that a good husband and father should have.

there are many people who think that there is nothing wrong with the phrase "help your wife and children", but I want to tell you that it is wrong from the beginning of the word "help".

Why "help"?

taking care of children is what you are supposed to do as a husband and father.

the child does not simply turn to his mother, nor is it because he has the same surname as his father, and the father can confidently yell at his wife and turn a blind eye to the child.

raising children is never an easy task, let alone the responsibility of the mother alone, but should be shared and participated by two people, a sacred and meaningful thing.

02

after having children,

love your wife

in our traditional view, it seems that there has always been the idea of "men dominate outside, women dominate inside", thinking that men should work hard to make money outside, while women should stay at home to take care of the children, wash clothes and cook.

but today, Mom wants to emphasize one thing to you:

in this world, there has never been a reason why women have to take care of children.

Frost she is willing to quit her job and go home to take care of her children because she loves her children, you and your family more than she does her job.

and you shouldn't let her down.

when your mother first gave birth to you, she often felt powerless when she was a new mother.

but for your father's support, I don't believe I can overcome those difficulties at all.

because of preterm birth, you are weaker than other children when you are born, often catch a cold and get sick, and you have to go to the hospital in two or three days.

one day at noon, you suddenly had a high fever.

your father was at work at that time. I was so worried at home that I didn't know what to do. I had to call your father while crying.

your father was in a meeting. Without saying a word, he asked for leave to go home and directly took our mother and me to the hospital.

in the hospital, your father ran up and down with you in his arms, queued up to see a doctor and went through various procedures, while constantly comforting me, who was so anxious that he could not stop crying.

later, it was not easy to prepare for an infusion, and you were still on your way to the ward, pulling your father full of poop.

at that time, it was not as good as it is now, so you can use diapers.

at that time, the diapers that Mom made out of cloth heads were all used for you at that time, so as soon as you pulled them, they leaked all over your father's hands and clothes.

even so, your father simply cleaned the toilet and continued to take you from me and hold you for infusion.

because he is afraid that my hands will be sore if I hold you all the time.

what happened later was what the hospital nurse secretly told me:

"your husband is so nice, holding the baby in one hand and sleeping against him in the other, sitting there alone for three or four hours, not moving too much, for fear of waking you."

so you know why, decades later, I still have such a good relationship with your father!

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because in the years when you were born, your father gave me the biggest sense of security, which made me feel not alone, but a safe haven.

similarly, I am grateful for his service and understanding, and I am willing to take good care of the children at home, take good care of the housework, and guard the rear for the family.

this is alsoOver the years, our family has been able to prosper, life is getting better and better, and the whole family is happy.

Zhang Xiaoxian said:

Zhang Xiaoxian said:

in the matter of having and raising children, women have to endure physical pain, psychological suffering, and a lot of emotional breakdown.

what she needs most at this time is her husband's support and concern.

and the best action is to take the initiative to participate in the daily life of raising a child and accompany her to experience the ups and downs of parenting.

there is a saying that what really drives love is not strong love, but trivial time.

A father taking care of his children, although it may seem like a small matter, is the best expression of love for his wife.

A responsible man will not take it for granted that he can enjoy his wife's contribution because he works outside to make money.

it's not easy to feel sorry for your wife after dinner. After busy work, you can shoulder the burden of being a father and share the pressure and burden of parenting with your wife.

Mom hopes that you can also take the initiative to play the role of a father, give Frost a stable rear, but also set a good example for the child's father.

I believe that your concern and understanding will also make Frost feel.

husband and wife work together and understand each other, so that your family can become more and more complete and happy.

03

the degree of your heart,

determines your place in the child's heart

do you remember your uncle and cousin?

the last time our two families had dinner together, you sighed like that:

but did you know that your uncle had been working out of town until your cousin was 20 years old? your aunt raised her from an early age.

only on holidays can you meet your uncle once in a while.

20 years of absence, and even your cousin's bar mitzvah at the age of 18, your uncle didn't have time to come back. You can imagine how rusty the relationship between father and daughter is.

although your uncle sends money back every month, it can't make up for the lack of fatherly love.

now that your uncle is old, he wants to make up for his daughter and repair his relationship with your cousin, but how can it be so easy?

he was absent in the most critical years, and now that your cousin has grown up, married and had children, she can never find the sense of dependence on her father.

so don't be surprised if you think their father-daughter relationship is stiff.

your uncle underestimated the importance of raising children with his own hands, and now he can only accept the price.

it's like the news my mother saw last time:

the teacher assigned a composition, but the daughter only wrote about her mother's love and didn't mention a word about her father in the whole article.

when the father saw this, he was very jealous and asked his daughter, "doesn't the father have love?"

although it is just a funny video, in the video messages, many people emphasize a realistic truth:

the growth of children is irreversible, and how much intimacy can be gained with much effort.

Mom has seen too many such examples over the years.

there are many fathers who work hard for their families and have successful careers, but there is always a gap between them and their children.

Dad is not a simple name, but it takes love and energy to become the father in the child's heart.

when you are not always with your child when he or she is most in need of company, then your ranking in your child's heart will naturally fall behind.

Mom doesn't want you to be such a father, and even your child is not close to you in the end.

04

as Wong Kar-wai said in "in the mood for Love":

it's the same with kids.

A responsible father will always give his child more things that his mother cannot give, and will also give his child more positive and brave influence.

how do you treat your children? the wife sees it and the child keeps it in mind.

son, you are the pillar of the family, but you can't just make money to support a family.

there is a saying:

Dear son, my mother believes that you will be the most successful father and the best husband.