Say things softly and do things hard (depth)

/August 2022

A gentleman wants to be slow in words and quick in deeds.

words are the shadow of actions, and words are pictures of the soul.

there are no more than two kinds of contacts in the world: softness against hardness, hard against hard.

talk like water, communicate patiently, have a sincere attitude, moisten things silently, such as a spring breeze.

We should do things like mountains, take a firm stand, not arrogant, not impetuous, safe and powerful, and daring.


talk like water, be "soft"

American psychologist Daniel Gorman said in "EQ":

when Zeng Guofan was an official in Beijing in his early years, he was outspoken, proud, lost many friends, and even offended the emperor, laying a lot of hidden dangers for his own way as an official.

after being targeted again and again, Zeng Guofan made up his mind to speak well.

after reflection and enlightenment, when communicating with others, he took care of other people's emotions, was kind, modest and considerate, and gradually became good at officialdom.

"A gentleman does not lose his footing, lose his face, or lose his tongue."

A reporter once asked Wang Han, "you and he Jing, who is the first brother of Hunan TV?"

Wang Han gave a textbook standard answer: "of course Mr. he is the first elder brother, and I am his eldest brother."

this answer not only gives he Jiao enough face, but also shows that the two are very close brothers, and there is no "first brother dispute".

people with high EQ talk like water, do not choke, do not need to be aggressive, but have the power of dripping water to wear stones to resolve all embarrassment.

having a talking mouth is a precious asset in life.


do things like a mountain, and you have to be "hard"

Zeng Guofan has always asked himself to do so.

as the commander-in-chief of the Hunan Army, Zeng Guofan spent more than hundreds of thousands of taels of military money every year, and he could make a fortune by making a few small moves, but when he died, his family had no money left.

the officials below gave him gifts, and he didn't want to break the rules or reject people, so he chose the most inconspicuous gift from everyone.

at a banquet, his subordinates were commenting on several generals of the court.

some people say: "Zuo Shuai is strict, people dare not deceive; Li Shuai Ming, people cannot be deceived."

Zeng Guofan asked with interest: "can you also give me an evaluation?"

A subordinate whispered, "Zeng Gongren, people can't bear to be deceived."

people who are really "capable" are not people in all aspects, but people who uphold principles.

Zeng Guofan always treats people with sincerity and deeds, which is hard to disagree with.

A man without principle and will is like a ship without a rudder and compass, he will change his direction at any time with the change of the wind.

only "you will be tougher after thousands of trials, despite the strong winds from east, west, north and south," you will not become a mediocre person who will drift with the tide if you have the ability to be strong and tough in doing things.

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strong and soft, invincible

do not act willfully, do not speak freely.

A kind word is warmer than cloth; a hurtful word is deeper than a spear.

"knife mouth and tofu heart" is not necessarily a commendatory word, or even a stupid move.

most of the time, language is a sharp weapon, which can be invisible.

people who fall on both sides of the wall will not have true friends, often walk by the river, may not get wet shoes, the environment is only an external cause for a person, if the inner bottom line is broken, the person is the most difficult to turn back.

IQ determines the height a person can reach.

EQ determines how far this person can go in the end.

there is no good luck or casual success in this world. Every part of your luck and popularity is virtually saved by yourself.

talk like water, seriously express their true feelings, but also considerate, gentle words, know how to measure.

do things like a mountain, have the ability, have the principle, have the bottom line, refuse to be the good old man blindly.

neither humble nor arrogant, never forget the original ideal and ambition.

such people will be invincible with both strength and softness.