People's Daily: if you talk well, educating your children will get twice the result with half the effort!
I remember a writer once said:
when many children grow up, what impresses them most is not their parents' love or school education, but their parents' bad temper and shouting.
shouting is not education, but a "sharp blade" that kills children's health. Parents must learn to speak well, so that this "sharp blade" will never come out of the sheath.
is the deepest harm to children
many parents can not "teach" their children, but only "yell" their children.
when children eat, they get rice all over the place, and parents can't stand it and scold their children for being unruly.
the child failed to hold the cup while drinking water and broke it, and the parents were furious and scolded the child for losing the family.
however, the "rules" are not yelled out, and children will not stop being "losers" because they are yelled at.
when education is nothing but yelling and scolding, it is not education, but parents vent their emotions unilaterally.
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artist Chen Qiaoen once used "autistic" to describe herself when she was a child. she said that she always lived in her own world because she was withdrawn and had no friends.
it is her mother who caused the problem.
Chen Qiaoen's mother is very strict with her daughter and serves her with a stick if her daughter does something wrong. Her voice of going upstairs was described by her daughter as "the voice of the devil".
even though more than 20 years later, Chen Qiaoen's fear of his mother still did not dissipate, and he looked back vigilantly in the interview, looking back in panic.
the body is the record book of the mind, and parents' hysteria will always be engraved in the child's mind and become the deepest harm in this life.
the more parents yell at their children, the more they lack sense of security and can't face the world strongly.
is destroying their children step by step.
some parents use words to build bridges to communicate with their children, while others use words to push their children further and further.
sarcastic, sarcastic and critical "cold violence" hurts children more than howling "hot violence".
I have seen a public welfare short film called "one sentence ruins a child's life".
in the video, even if they are adults or even gray-haired, people still think about what their parents said.
"what have I done to have a son like you!"
"you are nothing!"
"you are far inferior to your brother from beginning to end!"
when children are most in need of love, attention and protection, they are constantly humiliated, satirized and despised.
these injuries under the banner of "for your own good" are destroying children's hearts and changing the course of their lives.
We find that
children who grow up in fear suspect that they can't do well;
children who grow up in sarcasm often deliberately make it difficult for other children like adults;
children who grow up in disparagement have extremely low self-esteem and are likely to do nothing for the rest of their lives.
you know, there is never a knife mouth in the world, only the knife center.
if parents can respect their children, calm down and listen to their children's voices, and calm down and talk to their children,
how many children's childhood misunderstandings and wounds will be cured one by one in gentle words.
speaking in a low voice
is the best education for children
psychologists have found that parents' volume, tone and tone will directly affect the effect of educating their children.
they have done a group of surveys on parents criticizing their children, and the results show that
is also criticizing their children. Parents' low voice, low-pitched voice and mild tone will relax their children's psychological defenses and are willing to accept education.
parents' loud voice, high tone and severe tone will stimulate children's rebellious and rebellious psychology and confront their parents.
whisper education is the best gift for parents to give their children.
once I took the subway and witnessed the two mothers' very different ways of education.
as soon as the two children entered the subway, they made a scene and even ran around in the carriage. one of the mothers was furious and said to her child, "if you make any more noise, I won't take you out next time."
the child was frightened and stamped his foot and began to cry.
another mother pulled her child to her side and said gently, "look, you are so noisy and running around, and your brothers and sisters don't like you and avoid you. How bad!"
after listening to his mother, the little boy looked around, snuggled up to his mother and sat down.
criticizing the child is not to vent his temper, but to let the child know what is right and what he should do.
Children are not uneducated, they just want their parents to talk to them in a way that they can accept.
Education in a low voice can drive away anger, or it can make education work gently and firmly.
parents' way of speaking
affects the child's life
Dong Qing shared a sentence in the Reader:
A person who is easily excited and grumpy, he must owe the parental education he received from an early age.
A gentle, magnanimous, calm and generous person, the parental education he has received since childhood must be in place.
what determines the future of children is, first of all, what kind of parents they are, and secondly the way parents educate.
psychologist Willie James said:
"The deepest nature of human nature is the desire to be valued by others. "
Smart parents, or parents who really understand education, know how to bend over and communicate with their children face to face.
only when you learn to respect and understand your child can your child really open up and communicate with you.
when you want to educate your children, if you can't control your temper, you must remember these nine sentences:
urgent things, speak slowly;
big things, say clearly;
small things, say humorously;
things that are not sure, say carefully;
things that don't happen, don't talk nonsense;
don't talk nonsense about things that can't be done;
things that hurt people, don't say nonsense.
annoying things, not personal things;
happy things, depending on the occasion.
be a friend of the child.
respect his thoughts, understand his feelings, control the scale of his education, and don't hurt children in the name of love.
set the rules for the child.
make rules, show attitude, let children understand their parents' bottom line, make it appropriate to advance and retreat, and behave in a moderate manner.
as parents, sometimes as long as they recall when they were young, they will know what kind of love and treatment their children desire and what kind of education and help they should get.
on the way of growing up, parents should also grow up with their children to heal themselves and achieve better children.