People's Daily: 15 praises and 10 scientific methods of punishing children, please check them! (you have to read it even if you are busy.)
the healthy growth of a child needs not only the sunshine of praise, but also the rain of criticism.
the most advanced way for parents to show off their wealth is to teach an educated child.
the following is the scientific method of praising, criticizing and punishing children recommended by People's Daily, which is worthy of parents' reference.
15 scientific methods for praising children
1. Praise should be specific:
accurately describe what your child has done well and let him know what he has done and how to do it.
2. Praise the heavy process:
Let the child know where he has done well in the whole thing, where he should carry forward, where he has not done well, and needs to be improved.
3. Praise should be heartfelt:
Don't just say "you're great". Choose the right time and occasion to let your child feel your heartfelt approval.
4. Praise hard work:
when a child makes progress, praise him for his hard work, not his intelligence, and he knows that he can get good grades through hard work.
5. Praise should be interactive:
when you praise your child, you should look at him with warm and surprised eyes, or talk about your child's previous performance to make him feel his progress.
6. Praise should be timely:
when a child needs to be recognized most, a timely praise makes him confident and motivated.
7. Praise their attitude:
it is more important to recognize the attitude of children to study conscientiously, study hard, and actively do a thing well than to see only the results.
8. Praise its efforts:
affirm the child's efforts, so that the child will not be lost because there is no good result, but will work harder.
9. Praise its persistence:
encourage the child to persevere, do not put too much pressure on him, parental recognition will stimulate the child's perseverance.
10. Praise the quality:
affirm the results of your child's hard work, rather than praise the result of your child's greed for more and more quickly.
11. Praise the "first time":
the child's courage to try needs to be affirmed most, no matter what the result, recognize the child's courage, the child will have the courage to challenge.
12. Praise should be trustworthy:
parents' praise should not go back on its promise. If you do what you say, you should praise it, and the child will not perfunctory parents in the future.
13. Praise cooperation:
if a child works and succeeds with a small partner, affirm his cooperation and communication skills to help the child integrate into the team.
14. Praise the spirit:
material praise will spoil the child, and the spiritual praise will make the child feel recognized and better shape the values.
15. Praise should be special:
self-abased children should pay more attention, sensitive children should be more positive, and naughty children should find advantages.
8 scientific methods that criticize children
1. Allow the child to explain:
partial listening is dark, and listening at the same time is wise. Do not listen to the accusations of one party, and allow the child to explain himself.
parents remain neutral and objectively evaluate whether their children have done something wrong and why.
2. Learn to be considerate of others:
parents should think of others, understand the purpose of what their children are doing, and find the right starting point for criticism.
and ask your child to think of others, "how would you feel if you were that person, and whether it was the right thing to do?"
3. First of all, self-criticism:
before criticizing their children, parents criticize themselves, lower their figure, and quickly get closer to their children.
parents' self-criticism can also make children learn to reflect on themselves.
4. Only to things but not to people:
when children do something wrong or do not do well, parents' first reaction is not scolding, but guidance.
Let the child understand why he or she can't do this and what the consequences will be.
5. Teach children to correct their mistakes
not to criticize blindly, but to make them aware of their mistakes and find ways to correct them in a scientific way.
using criticism to teach children another lesson is the meaning of criticism.
6. Choose the right time:
do not criticize the child when he gets up, before going to bed, when eating, or when he is ill, which will directly affect his physical and mental health.
it is best to sit down and communicate calmly with your child. Parents can make demands on their children, and children can also give advice to their parents.
7. Adopt a kind attitude:
criticize children ≠ scold children, parents should not vent their feelings to their children, they should point out their mistakes succinctly and then educate them.
Don't easily turn over old debts and let your children admit their mistakes and disobey discipline.
8. Respect your child's self-esteem:
Don't criticize your child in front of outsiders, let alone beat and scold your child in front of his classmates and teachers.
not only adults need to be respected, but children also need to be respected. Children's hearts are more fragile and sensitive than we think.
10 scientific ways to punish children
1. Practicing calligraphy:
practicing calligraphy is a relatively boring study, but it can make children calm down and reflect on themselves.
when the children have practiced their words and the parents have regained their calmness, they can communicate calmly.
2. Make up for:
when the child has soiled the ground, let him clean it with a small broom and mop, and let him recite more ancient poems when staying in bed wastes time.
3. Think about it:
parents' snub for a long time will make their children uncomfortable and begin to reflect on whether they have really done something wrong.
if the child does not cooperate, the parents can lengthen the face time slightly until the child admits his mistake and then reason with him.
4. Change the tone:
parents directly blame the child, the child is bound to resist, then should change the tone, "what a pity, because you haven't done your homework, you lose a chance to play with your partner."
when a child realizes that he can play with his friends when he does his homework, he will avoid the unpleasant consequences of not doing his homework next time.
5. Help with housework:
after a child makes a mistake, parents can punish him to do some housework that he doesn't like to do, such as cleaning the room, washing clothes and so on.
it can not only exercise his practical ability, but also cultivate his sense of responsibility and family participation.
6. Suspend certain rights:
for example, do not allow children to play with toys, do not allow children to visit classmates, limit the length of time children can play with their mobile phones, and so on.
tell him that it is because he has done something wrong that there will be such consequences, and that he can restore his rights when he behaves well.
7. Reduce intimacy:
in the process of punishing the child, do not hug the child, do not caress the child, and stop chatting in a gentle tone.
Let children know that they will lose the care and love of their parents after making mistakes, and they should avoid making mistakes in the future.
8. Draw up a family convention:
on the premise of mutual respect, draw up a family convention that both parents and children should abide by, stipulating what can and cannot be done.
parents and children should supervise each other and make use of family conventions to cultivate good habits.
9. The voice of the family is the same:
parents have different opinions, or grandparents spoil their children, which will lead to a great reduction in criticism and punishment for their children.
only when family education is consistent can parental discipline play a role.
10. Natural consequences method:
if the child has experienced the consequences of doing something wrong, let him bear the consequences, do not feel sorry for the child.
when children can learn from this matter, they will naturally learn well.
good education, good parents with distinct rewards and punishments, and simultaneous discipline
many parents have struggled with a question: do they want to discipline their children or not?
take care of it, afraid that the child will cry, regardless, for fear that the child will learn bad.
however, most of the excellent children are the result of high-quality education, and most of the problem children are the products of problem families.
as parents, we must understand that
Children will one day be free from their parents' protection. They are too kind to them now and will not be able to bear the heavy pressure of life in the future.
good children are controlled, while bear children are used to it.
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teach children to be ruthless when they are young, and give them wings when they grow up.
parents should instruct their children to do the right thing, and they should not be free because they feel sorry for their children.
loving children and setting rules has never been a single topic.
raising but not teaching is a disaster for parents; failure to teach is the fault of parents.
there is a sentence in War and Peace:
it is not enough to teach children to rely on love alone. Parents' gentle and firm discipline has imperceptibly changed the direction of their children's life.