Not to vent one's anger is one's basic self-cultivation.

as the saying goes, "nine times out of ten things go wrong in life, but it has nothing to do with others."

We will inevitably encounter all kinds of situations in our life:

when we get along with others, we will inevitably be in trouble, work with others, and inevitably lead to friction.

anger and depression are inevitable.

but under anger, you can still be polite and rational, do not lose your temper, and do not vent your anger.

is not only the safety guarantee of benefiting others and self-interest, but also the basic self-cultivation of pleasing others and oneself.

01

angering your family is the greatest harm to your family.

Shi Tiesheng once said:

Yes, we start a family for love, not to be angry, nor to find a trash can for our emotions.

when you get along with your family, learn to control your emotions and don't wait until it's too late to regret.

in the novel Fortress besieged, the marriage between Fang Hung-chien and Sun Jou-chia has never been favored by the two families, and was desperately blocked by both sides.

the two of them have suffered a lot of grievances and sufferings for this.

pent-up anger has not been vented. For a long time, two people who were in love gradually began to resent each other, and finally took it out on each other as a punching bag.

after marriage, Fang Hung-chien and Sun Jou-chia quarreled a little a day and a big quarrel every three days.

later, Fang Hung-chien even summed up the following truth:

in the past, he had to keep it in his heart and could not vent at will, and no one was the punching bag for each other.

it's different now. You can't be as angry with anyone as you are with your wife.

needless to say, parents and brothers should break up friends.

only his wife is like the leather bag of Fengshen in Homer, which has the largest capacity of receiving gas. After all, divorce is not easy.

Sun Jou-chia did not show weakness after being angry, so she ridiculed Fang Hung-chien for being incompetent and grumpy, and called him "the lackey of his friend Chao Hsin-mei."

the endless venting and quarreling with each other finally brought their marriage to an end.

Family is the harbor of the soul and should not be turned into an emotional dump.

it is the greatest harm to family members to vent their unpleasant emotions on their families and to spread their unhappiness on them.

once read such a sentence:

A truly cultured person knows how to leave the best mood to the one he loves most.

02

vent your anger, hurt others and hurt yourself

psychologist Ben once said:

those who vent their anger often vent their anger on others, let others bear their own mistakes, and make the innocent suffer in their place.

this way seems to vent your emotions, but in fact, in the end, you are the one who suffers losses.

recently, a manager in the company left, so the boss wants to promote a manager among the employees.

Xiao Wang and Xiao Li are two employees of the company. Their business abilities are very outstanding, but their personalities are very different.

Xiao Wang is beautiful and elegant and seems to get along well with everyone.

Xiao Li doesn't say much, but she can always help her colleagues when they are in trouble.

once Xiao Wang made a mistake in his work and was severely criticized by his boss.

at noon, Xiao Wang, with a breath of breath in his heart, made things difficult for his cleaning aunt.

later, the story spread to the boss, who was still hesitant about the choice of manager, and he immediately gave up Xiao Wang.

the impulse of the moment exposed her self-cultivation and made her miss an opportunity.

I have to admit that many people are used to venting their bad emotions on unrelated people.

ignores that they have no obligation to bear it at all.

there is no shortage of mild-mannered people in life, but people who can be humiliated and humiliated even when they are down.

venting emotion is instinct, and controlling emotion is accomplishment.

blindly vent, vent anger innocent, will only hurt others and harm themselves, not only character, but also luck.

Wang Anshi said in the Theory of Rites and Music: "those who do not transfer their anger, ask for themselves."

when you are angry, you should first look for the reason from yourself instead of losing your temper with the people around you.

others should not be the target of our venting, nor should we have the obligation to carry our anger.

learning to properly place your anger is also a kind of self-cultivation.

03

to control the situation

there is an interesting psychological term called "kicking cat effect".

A father was criticized by his boss at the company and came home to scold the child who jumped around on the sofa.

the child was angry and kicked the cat rolling around him hard.

the cat fled to the street, just as a truck was coming, and the driver quickly dodged, but hit the child on the side of the road.

this shows that anger is contagious. When we vent our anger on others, they get angry for no reason and may find another person to vent.

finally fall into a vicious circle, making the environment around us worse and worse until it is completely out of control.

Napoleon said:

only by controlling the mood can we control the situation.

only by controlling your emotions can you take control of your life.

so, how to control your emotions scientifically and effectively? Here are some useful tips:

1. Give yourself a break first

emotion management expert Ronald said:

when you are angry, let yourself slow down, take a deep breath, slowly count from one to twelve, you justYou will find that your anger will calm down a lot.

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2. Choose to be alone when angry

people tend to lose their mind when they are angry, and they don't like anyone. Any inadvertent little thing will become an excuse for us to vent our anger.

when anger rises, consciously stay away from others and find a quiet place to stay for a few minutes, which is good for both yourself and others.

3. Self-reflection when alone

when we reflect alone, we should learn to ask ourselves three questions:

can the result of this matter be changed again?

can you make yourself better by obsessing about this?

can you take it out on others to make the result better?

if the answer is no, then accepting the truth is the best choice.

4. Find an outlet for emotion

it is not terrible to be angry, the terrible thing is to sulk.

in the face of bad emotions, we must learn to vent properly and find an outlet for our emotions.

you can do some intense sports, or find an empty tall building to shout a few words, or even cry.

04

for the rest of my life, don't be angry, let others go and let yourself go

anger is short-term madness and long-term sadness.

the pain caused by temporary impulse will be unforgettable for a lifetime.

Why should you embarrass yourself when there are so many unpleasant things in life?

often get angry, not only hurt others, but also upset the body.

there are several words in "Happy Ballad":

the rest of my life is not long, please cherish it. If you let others go, you can fulfill yourself.

in the days to come, may you and I be able to be bearish more, be less upset, live a comfortable life and live in peace between the rich and the poor.