No matter who you marry, keep these seven pieces of advice in mind
two days ago, I talked to my cousin about marriage.
I was particularly impressed by a sentence she said:
I wonder if your parents are the same.
it only allows you to choose your partner well, but rarely tells you how to choose your partner better and how to maintain your marriage better.
Today, I would like to share with you some small details that you need to pay attention to in your marriage. May you have a good marriage and enjoy your life.
before you get married, be sure to look at each other's "family circumstances"
Jane Austen has a very reasonable saying:
the family situation here is not just how much money the other person has in the family. It refers to the other party's family members' values, ways of getting along, and so on.
the atmosphere of the original family will exert an imperceptible influence on a person's life, which is deep in the bone marrow and difficult to change.
both men and women often go to each other's house before marriage.
take a look at ta's childhood environment; see how ta's parents usually communicate with each other; and see how ta's family style is, which often determines what ta looks like after marriage.
you marry, or you marry, not only one person, but the whole family behind, you must be careful.
but we poor couples feel sadder about everything. Since ancient times
money is not everything, but the indisputable fact is that money can solve most of the obstacles in your life.
there is a metaphor that I think is very vivid.
money is like the fat that surrounds the utilitarian world.
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when you encounter the impact of life, when you collide in the world.
money can help you slow down your misfortune, reduce your disappointment, reduce your harm, and even help you retain your loved ones and loved ones.
without money, you are afraid to buy what you like; when you meet the love you want, you will be restricted by money; when you get married, it is easy to cause a lot of conflicts because of money.
but when you have money, you can buy whatever you like when you are in a good mood, and if you are in a bad mood, you can also buy whatever you like; when you meet someone you like, you can confidently say, "just give me love, and I have my own bread." in marriage, you can also be more rational and confident.
whether there is love or not, whether you walk into marriage or not, trying to make money is something you can never give up.
see each other's efforts in marriage
Last year, a mother of two jumped off a building with two children.
she left a long last note in her moments, revealing despair between the lines.
it goes something like this: she does a lot of things every day, but her husband never sees her efforts, thinks that what she does is no big deal, and often negates and criticizes her.
not seeing each other's efforts is a great inducement to this tragedy.
as Yi Shu said:
Don't take the other person's contribution for granted, try to see and affirm the other person's contribution.
We should care about each other. The details can be found in romance
Brother Zhihu Big V told such a short story:
one day, when he was washing his face in the bathroom, he saw his wife's bath ball rotten badly. When I went to the supermarket, I bought a new one easily.
I lost the old one without telling my wife when I got home.
after taking a bath in the evening, the wife told her husband with a smile that she was very happy.
later he found out that it was because of this little bath ball.
for this, my wife was happy for several days.
then it dawned on him:
Marriage really needs to be managed. Man, being able to make money is the basic line of passing. How can you make a person happy? Wash more dishes, cook more meals, tell children more stories, make each other happier.
the afternoon tea where the author takes a nap has a point that I like very much:
even for an old husband and wife, don't forget the romance of the details.
give each other a hug before going out; buy a small bouquet of flowers to decorate the room before going home from work; pass by his wife's favorite dessert shop and bring a small cake; the husband likes sports and spends more time exercising together.
Life is nothing small, pay attention to every detail of life, marriage will be more romantic.
do housework together
to maintain a family, two people should always work together.
there is nothing for a husband to do, and nothing for a wife to do.
in many cases, the breakdown of a marriage is not due to an affair or a change of heart.
more often in the daily life, we forget the pleasure we used to get along with, complain in the trivial, disappoint in the trivial, and give up in the trivial.
husband and wife life is like walking with a bucket of water. If one side exerts no force, or exerts very little force, then the balance will be out of balance.
be considerate of each other's difficulties and share what you can do together.
spend more time together, don't let each other live into an island, so that the relationship can last.
Don't always try to transform each other
have you ever tried to transform your partner?
never. In fact, you can't change each other.
each of us has our own preferences and habits. If you want to transform the other person, it will only make him more and more disgusted.
Junichi Watanabe once told a story.
there is an editor.Strict, meticulous life, even if the toothpaste tube on the finger marks, he has to smooth out little by little.
while his wife is a careless person, she often leaves a lot of marks when she squeezes toothpaste every day.
the editor looked at these traces, such as thousands of ants crawling over their hearts. So even if I am in a hurry to go to work in the morning, I will find time to smooth out the finger marks left by my wife.
over time, a war between husband and wife naturally broke out.
everyone's way of life is different, don't always try to force each other to live according to their own standards.
about what is a good marriage, French philosopher Montaigne once put forward a very sharp point of view:
means that in marriage life, if you can remain insensitive, do not care too much about each other's words and deeds, tolerate each other's small shortcomings, and do not impose your own way of life on each other, the marriage will last longer.
No company, talk about feelings
there is a popular saying on the Internet:
it's raining in the city where you live. I'd like to ask if you have an umbrella.
but I held back, because I was afraid that you said you didn't bring it, and there was nothing I could do about it, just like I loved you but couldn't give you the company you wanted.
in reality, how much separation is not because of lack of love, but because of lack of companionship.
without company, there will be no communication, no communication, no feelings.
all the good feelings in the world, to put it bluntly, is that you participate in me, I integrate into your process.
in many cases, it is not betrayal that defeats love, but your experience that I am not involved in, and you have no idea about my mental journey.
the feelings of interaction, dependence, interdependence and mutual support are more meaningful.
A grasshopper in one rope can feel the true meaning of being in the same boat and helping each other better than two butterflies flying alone.
I like what French writer Moaro once said:
Marriage is a long journey in one's life.
although the process may be a little difficult, we still need to try our best to learn, manage and deal with the difficult problem of marriage.
May you all share your heads with affection for the rest of the year.