Never envy other people's lives.

18
/June 2022

this year's Oscar for best live-action short film ushered in a dark horse-"neighbor's window."

this 20-minute film has swept 20 international awards and hit the softest part of countless people's hearts.

& the window of lt; neighbors & gt;

the protagonist of the film is a middle-aged couple whose marriage life is dull and trivial, and exhaustion makes them lose their old passion long ago.

two people, who have been busy all day, finally have time to sit at the dinner table for dinner, only to see through their windows that the new neighbors opposite are passionate.

at first, women felt a little embarrassed to "peep" them, but gradually they began to enjoy the process, talking about how flexible and beautiful their young bodies were.

turn from summer to winter in a twinkling of an eye.

one day, a woman hurried into the door with a stroller, only to see the man sitting leisurely at the window, looking in the direction of his neighbor from time to time. The resentment that had accumulated for a long time finally broke out:

"it's snowing all day with my three children at the zoo.

help them wipe their noses and go to the bathroom, hungry and hurt their knees.

I know I can't go back to being 22, but the way you admire others makes me feel sad. "

the two men quarreled and finally reconciled with a hug, but the woman left a pimple in her heart.

in the later days, whether it is getting up in the middle of the night to breast-feed the baby, or sleepless nights, women always pick up binoculars and look at the opposite window.

on an ordinary day, a woman found a young man in her neighbor's house, dressed in white cloth, being pushed out. She hurried downstairs and saw a tearful young woman.

the woman hesitated for a moment, but chose to come forward to comfort, only to be recognized by her.

"my husband is very ill, and we envy your lovely three children very much. I also saw you guys breast-feeding the baby together at night. " The young woman had burst into tears.

from a "voyeur" to a "voyee", the woman is so choked that she can't say a word.

it turns out that when she envies her neighbors' life, the neighbors envy them, too. And the "trouble" that has been bothering her has become the happiness that the neighbors cannot ask for.

A woman is so lucky to have three lovely children and a husband who works hard to earn money to support her family. although her life is dull but happy, she is "unblessed".

the writer Ma de once said:

"A person is always looking up at the happiness of others, only to find that he is being looked up by others."

actually, everyone is happy. However, your happiness is often in the eyes of others. "

Nobody's life is full of happiness and no worries.

it is futile to look up at others blindly, and to see your own happiness is the true meaning of life.

01

always looking up at others is a mistake.

I saw such a video a few days ago.

the security guard, who had just been reprimanded by the leader, walked into the elevator and saw a takeout worker coming hurriedly, thinking to himself:

the security guard sighed and walked out of the elevator, when a young white-collar woman came in.

when the takeout clerk saw her, he thought to himself:

with the sound of the overtime reminder of the order, the takeout clerk rushed out of the elevator.

I saw the boss help an old man come in, and the white-collar woman said hello respectfully, thinking to herself:

then she bowed her head and walked slowly out of the elevator. The boss looked at the calm uncle and sighed in his heart:

.

Mo Yan once wrote in his article:

"when people come into this world, there will always be a lot of unhappiness and a lot of envy.

you envy my freedom, I envy your restraint; you envy my car, I envy your house; you envy my work, I envy that you always have a break every day. "

No one's life is smooth, and everyone is going against the wind.

never stand in your own troubles and look up to the happiness of others.

you don't have to envy anyone, do your own thing, go your own way, and see your own scenery.

you will find that we are also the scenery in the eyes of others, and the small luck of life has never left.

02

whose life is not a mixed blessing

not long ago, the TV series "only Thirty" was very popular, and its strong sense of substitution made it a word-of-mouth drama of the whole people.

inside the three heroines, each of them is full of scenery and envy. But when the gorgeous robe fades, it is covered with scars after confrontation with life.

Wang Manni, a single young woman and a drifter in Shanghai, is the only one of the three who has no family pressure.

but she, who seems to lead a free and natural life, is trying to gain a foothold in the big city while bearing the urging of her parents to get married.

as soon as the landlord opened her mouth, she had to move in large and small bags. I'm sick, and I'm afraid to tell my family. When he met a scum man, he was slapped by the original match and lost his job.

Zhong Xiaoqin, married and childless, owns a house locally. My husband is a good old man, and they have no financial pressure and no trouble of taking care of their children.

in the eyes of outsiders, this kind of life is safe and comfortable. But Zhong Xiaoqin endured her husband's selfishness and cold violence every day, and the two became roommates in their marriage.

Gu Jia is married and has given birth, and his son is sensible and lovely. Carrying hundreds of thousands of designer bags and living in a luxurious villa, she is a rich wife who is exquisite and elegant in the eyes of others.

but the reality is that Gu Jia carries shoes for others and helps her husband to solve his son's school problems.His career cleared the obstacles and took care of all aspects of the family, but even so, he was betrayed by his husband.

this is the heart of the audience, but there is no one in the play.

Don't we often show the best side of our lives to outsiders, while living in a place where chicken feathers are left to ourselves?

in moments, there are selfies with exquisite makeup, beautiful travel photos, eating, drinking, and cars.

looking at it, it seems that other people's lives are all quiet and good, but only their own lives are not satisfactory everywhere.

whenever I feel down and want to post something, I delete and type the edited words, type and delete them, and finally leave a blank.

when you open your circle of friends, you will be surprised to find that you also leave the best to others and those unspeakable sadness to yourself.

the ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus once said:

whose life is not a mixed blessing? There is no need to envy the superficial scenery of others, let alone deliberately embarrass yourself.

you will find that you actually have a lot more happiness than you think.

keep a peaceful heart, everything you look forward to, time will give you the best answer.

03

Searching through our grandmother of the bride dresses you will find a rich variety of prints, sizes, designs and fabrics. We have cuts and forms to fit any silhouette.

seeing one's own happiness is an ability

remember that peasant couple who danced their own "dragging dance steps" in the field and were hot on the fire?

husband's name is Fan Deduo, 49 years old, and his wife's name is Peng Xiaoying, 45 years old. they are farmers in Xiayu Village, Mayu Town, Ruian, Wenzhou, Zhejiang Province.

many years ago, van der Daugh left serious psychological sequelae after a car accident, always twitching with fear and tinnitus at night.

"sometimes he (van der Doe) sneaks out in the middle of the night, and I have to look for him and watch him all the time."

in order to get her husband to stop thinking and relieve his pressure, Peng Xiaoying began to take him to learn to dance.

between the ridges of the fields, on the doorstep of the house, and under the pier, are all their stages. Work in the fields during the day, enjoy and laugh in music and dance at night.

after each dance, the two will hug and cheer for each other.

van der Daugh found a long-lost joy in dancing and got out of the haze of depression little by little.

when the rainstorm of fate strikes, you may hide in bed and cry until you are hoarse, but when you look up and see the rainbow after the rain, you will feel that the world is worth it.

Carnegie said:

bitterness and happiness come from our hearts. If we are satisfied, everything in front of us is happiness.

04

there is a question on Zhihu: "what kind of people live the happiest lives?"

here is a highly praised answer:

"people who really live tend to be very happy."

what is real life?

headmaster Mei said in "ask nothing":

Happiness is everything you love to have, a contented heart, and a state of life that does not discuss the short and long with others.

Don't stand in your own troubles and look up to the happiness of others.

in fact, everyone's happiness is around you, but you haven't noticed it all the time.

Don't envy others, let alone look up to others, because you are your own scenery.