Middle-aged: don't talk nonsense, make friends or spend money indiscriminately.

/September 2022

A person hides his edge when he is in middle age.

maybe when we were young, we all had a free and easy time, but when we reached a certain age, we should learn to rein in ourselves and stop doing what we want.

there are some things you can't say, some friends you don't have to make, and some money you can't spend.

this is not only the accomplishment that middle-aged people should have, but also the wisdom to live the rest of their lives.


Don't talk nonsense

Middle age is a hurdle. Try the warmth of human feelings before you know that the world is cold.

in the face of more and more complex interpersonal relationships, if you are still bluntly outspoken and say what you think, it will only add more troubles to yourself.

A netizen on Zhihu told his story.

after graduating from college, he stayed in Xi'an with several classmates to work hard.

at that time, everyone's economic conditions were not good. They shared rent in the village in the city. After work in the evening, the favorite thing to do was to get together and talk.

A bottle of beer and a plate of peanuts can chat all night.

until later, he began to fall in love and start a business. he was the first to move out of the village in the city, and bought a house with savings.

at first, he still kept his previous habit. If he had anything happy or unhappy, he would say it directly in the WeChat group, hoping to share his feelings with everyone.

although he didn't enjoy chatting as much as before, he always thought that it was because everyone was far away and busy, and he didn't care about it.

on the day the new house was handed in, he didn't think much about it either, and immediately sent the good news to the group.

but just when he thought he would receive a lot of blessings, the reaction of the students was not only not as enthusiastic as imagined, but not as sour as his words.

it was only from that time that he realized that he did not know how to keep himself.

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even people who have had a certain friendship, with the change of each other's fate in the future, some words can no longer be said at will.

there is a good saying: most of the time, silence is not speechless, but inexhaustible.

people experience all kinds of things and meet all kinds of people in their lifetime.

if you talk too much, you will lose; if you talk too much, you will hurt others. When you reach middle age, you will keep your mouth shut.


Don't make friends randomly

people always like to add to the circle of friends when they are young.

when you reach a certain age, you will find that there is no need to invite too many people into your life.

in an interview program, Gao Xiaosong was asked about making friends.

in the eyes of outsiders, he is not only a cultural celebrity, but also a senior veteran in the entertainment industry, and there must be no shortage of friends.

but his answer is quite surprising:

"my Wechat list is very clean. I don't like the mixture of people and dragons in moments."

Gao Xiaosong also admitted that because of the needs of his work, he would come into contact with many people who want to add his Wechat, but they would basically be politely refused by him.

it is impossible to push, so I give it to my assistant to help him contact and communicate, and I seldom spend time and energy to deal with it.

at the same time, he also insists on regularly deleting contacts. There are only 200 to 300 people on Wechat all the year round, and Weibo only follows a dozen people.

with regard to the significance of interpersonal communication, Gao Xiaosong thinks:

although one more meal may lead to one more opportunity, he doesn't need these opportunities. As far as he is concerned, he enjoys the process of simplifying everything more, and he is clean and comfortable.

indeed, low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude.

it is a comfortable way to live a comfortable life by saying goodbye to useless friends, freeing up time and energy to do what you like, and getting along with the people you feel important.

I quite agree with Sanmao's passage:

"it's good to have one or two bosom friends, but there's really no need for too many. The joy of friends lies in the steadfast trust. "

the simpler the relationship, the higher the life.

after entering middle age, you are lucky to have a bosom friend. If not, enjoy the solitude.

clean up the circle and return to your true self.

stay away from impetuous and noisy, in order to live a quiet and indifferent life, lasting fragrance.


Don't spend money

when will people realize the importance of money?

when you encounter difficulties in life.

an old friend suddenly contacted me on Wechat not long ago and asked if I could lend her some money.

I was surprised when I first saw the news.

because she is very particular about the brand of food and clothing, so she doesn't look like a person who is short of money.

later we chatted and learned that her husband had a cash flow problem in his business recently, and she usually had no habit of saving money, so she fell into trouble.

the main reason for borrowing money this time is that her daughter asked her to buy a piano.

"it's not easy to find that there are old people at the top and small ones at the bottom for the first time." My friend sighed at the other end of Wechat.

when a person reaches middle age, the responsibility lies with the shoulder, and no one can live that kind of life when the whole family is not hungry.

as the old saying goes: if a man is not far-sighted, he must worry in the near future.

think of danger when you are safe, spend what you should spend, save what you should not spend. Save some money properly in order to meet the need for a rainy day.

not long ago, in the hit drama "Xiao she de", the situation of the Mi Tao family touched the hearts of many people.

Mi Tao's parents are ordinary people who work hard in big cities.

Mom is engaged in housekeeping and cleaning, and she has to work hard every day.Home of the same employer.

her way of commuting is to ride an electric bike. over the years, the car has been used by her, but she is still reluctant to change it.

and so on, I finally saved enough money to buy a car, and because I wanted to sign up for a training class for Mi Tao, my mother decided to leave the money for Mi Tao to sign up and change her bike.

when watching this play, although I was very distressed by Mommy's careful calculation, I also appreciated her rational attitude towards money.

there is a saying that is heart-piercing and realistic:

"the world is in a panic, but a few taels of broken silver can solve all kinds of panic in the world, protect the health of the elderly, and send their children to school."

in the final analysis, many "midlife crises" stem from lack of money.

if you have no money in your pocket, in the face of the storms and tests of reality, you can only accept it, look at all kinds of faces and taste all kinds of bitterness.

the strength of middle-aged people can only be sustained with money.

work hard to make money, save money well, spend money reasonably, and have the ability to plan ahead in order to live a leisurely life.

some people say:

Life before middle age is addition, full of hope, and life after middle age is subtraction, constantly precipitating.

half way through life, knowing what you can't do is far more important than knowing what you can do.

only if you don't talk nonsense, you can feel at ease; if you don't make friends indiscriminately, you can be at ease; if you don't spend money indiscriminately, you can be on guard against it.

in the years to come, may you be loyal to yourself and live with gentleness and restraint, simplicity and freedom in this noisy world.

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