Men who reason with their wives have some problems with EQ.
there is a question on Zhihu: what is the experience of having a boyfriend who always likes to reason with you?
one replied: "it's really annoying. He doesn't know how to coax me at all, and he keeps telling me what I did wrong."
indeed, affection is a place of love, not of reason.
A man who likes to fight for right and wrong and be reasonable in everything tends to ruin a relationship.
99% of quarrels
are all because men can't talk
the boyfriend who dreams is a very reasonable person.
once she complained to her boyfriend that the leader of the company gave her small shoes, hoping to get comfort from her boyfriend.
but the boyfriend spoke seriously: "this is normal." You have to think about what went wrong, and then adjust and ease the relationship with the leader. "
Mengmeng said angrily, "I know all the truth. Can't you coax me?"
boyfriend also added fuel to the fire: "I think your leader is actually right, just talking about it." Don't think too much, you can't bear it in the workplace. "
after listening to the dream, she was too angry to speak. She felt that her boyfriend didn't care about her at all. She was aggrieved outside, and her boyfriend had to speak for outsiders and reason with herself.
on another occasion, Mengmeng's best friend betrayed her and told her secret to other friends, causing her to be laughed at.
she complained to her boyfriend, but her boyfriend said coldly, "Oh, I warned you before that your best friend is not a good stubble, so you should be more careful. Now you don't know regret until you've been cheated."
the dream is already unhappy, but the boyfriend still doesn't know it and continues to be reasonable:
"in society, people are separated by their bellies, so they can't tell others everything. Your so-called best friend just likes to satirize others. How could it be any better?"
her boyfriend blindly blindly criticized and reasoned, which made her feel even more depressed and at a loss what to do.
such feelings are really suffocating, and then Mengmeng broke up with him.
99% of quarrels are all because men can't talk.
arguing about right and wrong will only lead to colder and colder feelings.
but love should not be a place to be reasonable. You can talk about it in the workplace and in the courts.
I have seen a list before, and it is the ten words that women hate most when men say:
1 Don't bother me, you can do whatever you like
2 is my fault.
4 what's wrong with you /me?
5 you have to think so I can't either
6 drink more hot water
7 just friends
9 are you done
10... (telling a lot of reasons)
every sentence is a classic, which can be called "death reply".
when women hear men being reasonable, they will have a feeling that "you don't even coax me, you care about reason rather than me, you don't love me", so you will be more angry.
Women are emotional animals, and women care more about men's attitudes than everyone knows.
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when it is clear that a hug or a concession can solve a problem, a man has to talk eloquently, make a long speech, and set himself on fire.
so, ah, men who reason with their wives may not have EQ problems.
the man who loves you
will take the initiative to be soft to you
learn to be soft, which is the right way to resolve the contradiction.
when Sha Yi and Hu Ke took part in a variety show, the program group stipulated that the couple should tie pink ribbons together to symbolize love.
there was a disagreement between the two. Hu Ke wanted to go shopping and Sha Yi wanted to rest, so he suggested cutting the ribbon so that he could go his own way.
Hu Ke asked angrily, "didn't you say you want to follow me all the time? what does it mean to cut the ribbon?"
Sha Yi replied, "I will always follow you, but not out of this street." It doesn't matter if you cut it off. You do what you want. I'll go and have a drink. "
when Hu Ke heard this, he was instantly angry. Sha Yi found a change in his wife's mood and immediately admitted his mistake.
he also thought of a trick, using the sticker on his hand to stick to his wife's face and his own body, acting cute like a child, and then coaxing her to say:
"this rope means our marriage and love. I want to firmly grasp my love, wife is the most important."
Hu Ke smiled happily, and the contradiction was resolved by Sha Yi's submission and concession.
you see, such a simple action, one word, can stop the coming quarrel in time and make the wife happy again.
in relationships, what women need most is to be understood and cared for.
A man who loves you will know how to pay attention to your emotions and be soft when you are angry.
because he is not willing to make you sad, he will be willing to take the initiative to bow his head and coax you, instead of always being reasonable and fighting for right or wrong.
Love is a close match, while love is giving up voluntarily.
in the eyes of men who really love you, reason is not that important, but how you feel is the most important.