Life is a passer-by, so why be so persistent?

/July 2022


Cang Yang Gyatso once wrote in his poem:

indeed, a person's life is actually an one-way trip.

although the process is unknown and the scenery is different, it is known that we all have the same ending.

most of the time, we can't let go of our inner obsession, cling to the people and things of the past, worry about the present and the future, grieve for all kinds of regrets, and forget to enjoy the present.

I like the words of Max Hermann very much:

everyone is just a passer-by of the universe.

Don't dwell on the past, because the past will eventually pass by; don't dwell on the past, because some people are just passers-by; don't dwell on the present, because all the future will come.


the past is not clinging to

once heard such a story, very enlightened.

said that former British Prime Minister Lloyd George had a special habit of closing the door behind him.

one day, George and his friends were walking in the yard. Every time they passed the door, George closed it behind them.

A friend asked him, "is it necessary for you to close these doors?"

George replied, "Oh, of course it is necessary."

he smiled and explained to his friend:

I have been closing the door behind me all my life. You know, it has to be done.

when you close the door, leave the past behind, whether it's a good achievement or an annoying mistake, and then you can start all over again.

it was in this spirit that George stepped on to the position of British Prime Minister.

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indeed, the most important thing to be a happy and successful person is to remember to close the door behind you, not to dwell on the past, but to keep looking forward.

No matter what happened in the past, it is a thing of the past. You should clear the past in time and start all over again.

author Richard Teppler's "the Law of Minimalist Life" mentions that there is such a rule for personal development:

those who have experienced things that cannot be changed, those scars that remain indelible in the heart.

you can worry, or you can know how not to worry.

No one knows that curled up in the past, today loses its meaning, and without the transition of the present, tomorrow is bound to be pale.

day after day, there is only an endless vicious circle.

just like Li Zongsheng's middle-aged emotion expressed in the song: "you should be reluctant to give up and just talk nonsense with the past."

Don't keep recalling the past events of the house.

memories are right, time is right, beauty is right, everything is right.

but people always get stuck in the past and can't go far.

it will be better to let go of the past and move on.


the old friend does not read

there is a line in the movie "the Dead of Mountains and Rivers" that says:

there are a bunch of lovers who have been in love for five years, going through the graduation season and going through a long-distance relationship. When everyone thinks that they will be able to repair the real fruit, the boy said the breakup silently, the reason is: "I don't seem to like you so much. I don't want to keep you."

the woman immediately agreed to break up, immediately changed her Wechat profile picture, and overnight asked the moving company to move out of the shared apartment.

seems to put it down coolly and draw a clear line quickly, but in fact, we know that she has been crying day and night for a long time.

she didn't get out of the shadow until she met the next one.

once, my ex got drunk and called her, saying that he missed her very much and missed the days when he was together.

the girl replied politely, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend now. We're doing well. I hope you respect his existence."

whenever we ask her that she doesn't regret being with her ex, she always smiles faintly, shakes her head and says she has no regrets at all.

only if you have loved someone you shouldn't love, can you meet the one you should love. If I hadn't experienced that relationship, I wouldn't have been who I am now. "

Liu Ruoying said:

people have two attitudes towards memory, one is complaining and remorse, the other is nostalgia and gratitude.

when we look back on yesterday, we wish we could always have a second mood.

Yes, most of the feelings in the world are not complicated.

when it's time to fall in love, love well, and don't force it when it's time to end.

when those who have accompanied themselves gradually become old friends, no longer contact, no longer see each other, we should learn to see hope in loss, learn to reconcile with ourselves in experience.

only those who let go first can be free, and those who let go first can be happy.

Life is too short to leave time to worthwhile people and things.



I have heard such a story:

there is a young man who feels that life is very heavy and often feels anxious and bored because of some small things.

then he found a wise man to seek liberation. After listening to his troubles, the wise man took him to a desert.

there are many beautiful stones in the desert. The wise man gave him a basket and asked him to walk

while picking up his favorite stone.

the young man picked up a lot of beautiful stones along the way, which made the burden on his shoulders getting heavier and heavier. At last he was tired.

in fact, the oasis is not far away, but he doesn't have the strength to walk over it.

in fact, everyone's life is just like this basket. at first, everyone's basket is empty, and later, it is the same with each step.When you put things in, you will get more and more tired.

all wise people know how to clean up the baskets on their shoulders in time, sweeping out all the unimportant memories, unpleasant social activities, and then they will become relaxed.

maybe you still feel troubled all the time, tangled, anxious, disappointed, sad, all normal, and it's no big deal.

Bai Yansong said:

when you really come into life, you will find that 5% of things are happy, 5% are painful, and the remaining 90% are insipid, day after day.

Smart people are good at turning this 90% mediocrity into happiness, while unsmart people lean this 90% mediocrity to the brink of pain.

nine times out of ten, there are unsatisfactory things in life. Remember to often think about one or two, but not eight or nine.

Don't worry too much about the present, don't worry too much about the future, open your mind a little, take a long view, as long as you know where you're going, you'll get there eventually.


Life has a smooth road, thorns, laughter and tears.

do not cling to the past, simple and natural, follow the fate wholeheartedly;

do not miss the past, the past is clean, love and hate are random;

not mixed with the present, make complexity simple, and live hard.

Let go and be at ease, and all the good things will come as expected.

finally, I would like to borrow a passage from the movie "No questions" to share with you:

May you remember your value and resist malice when you are hit; may you believe in your value, love what you love, do what you do, listen to your heart, and do not ask things when you are confused.