It's a great ability to be comfortable.

/June 2022

Wen | Lin Lang  in midsummer  Source | Reading at ten o'clock (ID:duhaoshu)

ending song: cliff Ridge-read this body


, take into account the decency of others

with the popularity of the TV series "Qingping Music", the actor who plays Liang Huaiji plays Liang Huaiji. He was well received by the audience for his excellent acting skills. But some time ago, because of a live broadcast, everyone's attitude towards him changed by 180 °.

during the live broadcast, Bian Cheng teased Ren Min, his partner in the play, several times in public, making the scene embarrassing for a time.

when Ren Min talked with the audience about health preservation, she said that she insisted on soaking her feet every night because her feet were cold. Bian Cheng interrupted her and said:

also described the first impression of Ren Min:

"is a sister who is not very good-looking, not very tall, and mediocre."

Ren Min worked hard to maintain the atmosphere, saying that she would have the opportunity to play with classmates or lovers in the future, but Bian Cheng said with disdain:

the atmosphere of the live broadcast was a little stiff, and the smile on Ren Min's face was a little unbearable. Even the audience outside the screen felt embarrassed.

there are many netizens' comments in the comment area:

"really disrespect people";

"you can fix your face if you don't look good, but your mouth will burn if you can't say it"...

even if you want to point out the other person's shortcomings, say it politely and sincerely. There is a ruler in words and a degree in frolicking. If you know someone, don't say anything, leave room for speech.

as the old saying goes, "kind words with others are warmer than cloth; hurtful words are deeper than spears."

everyone can talk, but not everyone can talk.

some people are eloquent, taking into account the decency of others, while others are sharp and competitive all the time.

people who can talk are not glib and sweet-spoken, but know how to take care of other people's emotions and take care of each other's dignity with sincerity and thoughtfulness. Cai Kangyong said:

talking well and paying attention to others is a compulsory course for adults.


take into account the feelings of others

in the 1930s and 1940s, there was a saying in society: "my friend Hu Shizhi."

whether they are high-ranking officials, nobles or pawn-peddlers, they all have friends of Hu Shi, and they are all proud to be friends with Hu Shicheng.

when Lin Yutang was studying abroad, due to the sudden suspension of his scholarship by the school, he had no choice but to ask Hu Shi for help: "can you use your elder brother as a guarantee and borrow 1000 US dollars from others, which will be repaid when I return home after I have finished my study?"

Hu Shi immediately remitted 1000 US dollars, with a special note that this is the salary advanced by Peking University and will be repaid later when he returns to work.

Lin Yutang is going to study for a doctorate in Germany after graduating from Harvard. He once again asked Hu Shi to borrow money. Hu Shi remitted another 1000 US dollars, saying that it was an advance from Peking University.

with this money, Lin Yutang felt at ease to study and return home. When he came back, he took the initiative to return the money to the president of Peking University, who was puzzled: "what 2000 dollars?" It was only then that Lin Yutang realized that Hu Shi was afraid of his embarrassment and was worried about the money, deliberately saying that it was an advance.

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all his life, Hu Shi helped countless people and paid special attention to safeguarding the dignity of others. He always wanted to help others and never caused trouble to others.

when Hu Shi was president of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, he and his wife lived in a university dormitory. At that time, Mr. Fu Si-nian had a rule that playing cards was not allowed in the university dormitory. On the other hand, Mrs. Hu especially liked playing mahjong, and several times she violated the regulations and called friends to play mahjong. Hu Shi repeatedly persuaded her to move out with her wife on her own initiative.

many people say that President Fu is your student, and playing mahjong is not a big deal. Should you be polite to him? 'it 's because he's my student that I can't give him any trouble, 'Mr. Hu said.

not causing trouble to others is a noble upbringing and the greatest respect and understanding for people.

Ji Xianlin wrote in an article recalling Hu Shi: "he was kind and kind to people, smiling at everyone, to professors, to staff, to students, and to fellow workers. I have never seen him put on the airs of celebrity and professor that were quite popular at that time."

the true nobility is that you pretend to be others and know how to think about other people's situation.

Tagore once said:

because you know, you are kind.

the sense of proportion that always takes into account the feelings of others is a sincere goodwill and an upbringing that goes deep into the bone marrow.


when you get along with others, you should know how to think of others.

Panasonic's founder, Matsushita Konosuke, is known as the "god of management". His way of doing business is to think of others, and his high EQ has always been praised.

once, he invited several subordinates to eat the best steak in Tokyo. The subordinates ate satisfactorily, almost all of them on CD, and only Matsushita Konosuke had more than half of the steak left on his plate.

Mr. Panasonic specially asked the waiter to invite the steak chef over, and the cook asked in horror, "is there anything wrong with the steak?"

Mr. Panasonic said, "No, you cook very well. I've never had such a delicious steak!"

he explained that he was in his 70s and couldn't afford to eat too much steak, so he had more than half left. I am afraid that the chef will mistakenly think that the customer is not satisfied when he sees so much left, and that the restaurant manager will blame the chef, so he has to explain it face to face.

everyone suddenly realized that they were all moved by Mr. Panasonic's remarkable empathy. It is the possession ofWith the ability to be good at thinking of others, Mr. Panasonic pays attention to customer needs in product design. Panasonic has been selling well, and he himself has won the unanimous respect of the industry.

A person is good at understanding the difficulty of others, is a kind of leniency, knows how to think from the other person's point of view, is a kind of kindness.

the Analects of Confucius said: "push yourself to others, compare your heart to heart, do not do to others what you do not want."

once, the telephone that my friend bought not long ago broke down, so he and I went to the mall to find a salesperson with a warranty card. When I went to the counter, I happened to see the salesperson introducing various phone functions to other guests. The friend said, "We'll talk about it later."

I asked, "Why?" The friend explained:

tested that day, my friend's phone broke down because of accidental water, and the salesperson was very enthusiastic about contacting and testing, arranging repairs, and lending a prototype to a friend to use first.

when you are kind to others, you are also kind to yourself.

Laozi said, "when Great Way is implemented, people are not to blame."

it is hard for others to see the hard work behind everyone, and it is difficult for others to understand the difficulties in everyone's heart.

I like the sentence in "Thank you":

the real high EQ is to take others to heart

writer Lin Qingping said:

put yourself in the shoes of understanding other people's difficulties, take the initiative to eliminate each other's embarrassment, look at each other in the eyes, take them to heart.

"the weakness of human nature" has a saying:

each of us walks the world, sometimes proud, sometimes embarrassed, everyone wants to be treated well by others, all the goodwill of others, in the end, will be returned to ourselves.

the warm words we say and the good deeds we do will eventually yield sincerity and respect.

accomplishing the decency of others, dispelling the embarrassment of others, pushing oneself and others' thoughtfulness, and sincerity from the bottom of the heart is a kind of altruism and kindness.

as Bacon said, "the virtue of benefiting others, I think, is good."

kindness for the sake of others is the highest EQ.

May you be kind to others and be treated gently by others.