It turns out that this is called empty ship theory (benefited a lot)

/June 2022


what is "empty ship theory"?

A short story is told in Zhuangzi Mountain Tree.

A man was crossing the river by boat when a boat in front was about to bump into him.

the man shouted several times without an answer, so he scolded the sailing man in front of him for being blind.

as a result, it turned out to be an empty ship, so the anger of the angry man just now disappeared without a trace.

in fact, you will find that whether you are angry or not depends on whether there is anyone on the boat or not!

this is the famous "empty ship theory".

emotions are born with everyone.

and these emotions often come from things we don't agree with and don't like.

but there are always some people who live lightly, focus only on themselves, and are never disturbed by the outside world.

Wang Yangming said: "there is nothing outside the mind."

it is obviously the same thing, but in the eyes of two people, there may be two completely different states: people with a good state of mind, people with a bad state of mind, good things turn into bad things.


this is actually the truth conveyed by the "empty ship theory". A person's attitude determines the view, the opinion determines the practice, the practice guides the behavior, and the behavior leads to the result.

and this result confirms the pattern and vision of you.


the reason why a person is unhappy: lack of self-cultivation

No one can be truly perfect in this life.

nine times out of ten people are unhappy in life, and pain is inevitable. Pain is nothing more than the desire of oneself and the harm of others, which often has a lot to do with one's own self-cultivation.

when a person turns his own narrowness into prejudice and reflects it on others, he will kill each other with an established cognitive frame, magnifying his own likes and dislikes and feelings, so that he or she doesn't like people everywhere in the end.

so, in life, a person who can't control his emotions and loses his temper is just not self-cultivation.

one of Lao he's disciples always felt that everything was not going well and complained everywhere. when the old monk knew this, he let him grab a handful of salt in front of him and put it into a glass of water and let the disciple drink it.

the disciple took a sip and vomited it. The old monk said, "how does it taste?" The disciple said, "suffering".

the old monk took his disciples to the lake again, sprinkled a handful of salt into the lake, and then asked the disciples to taste the lake.

the master then asked, "how does it taste?" Sweet.

Master said:

in life, you should live a little chic, do not let what is right and wrong, wrong right and right affect your mood.

after all, in this world, only you can really hurt yourself, not others.

you don't like others because you don't have enough self-cultivation; you like to lose your temper because you don't have enough self-cultivation; you suffer because of others, but you don't have much self-cultivation.

the more cultured a person is, the bigger his mind is and the easier it is to get along with others.

and those with a large pattern tend to have a smooth career and a smooth life; those with a small pattern are short-sighted and lose sight of one at the expense of the other, and it is difficult for them to make a big difference.

so, as a man, don't mess with yourself. Don't care about people and things you don't like, just look down on them.


if you know how to respect differences, if you have a broad mind, your eyes will be wider

because different things make the world wonderful.

We often say that it is a virtue to know how to praise others. But in fact, knowing how to respect is more important than knowing how to praise.

the sign of a person's maturity is to respect different cultures and values.

if you have to "eliminate" things you don't approve of, it's not a sense of responsibility, it's because you're too self-centered.

and this will easily expose your shortsightedness and ignorance.

recently I saw the movie Minority report starring Tom Cruz.

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A sci-fi movie from more than a decade ago tells the story of three prophets who can predict crime and stop it before it is committed in the future.

all three prophets will have their own solutions to crimes that will occur in the future.

when three people agree, it makes sense; but when three people disagree, the principle that the minority is subordinate to the majority is applied.

however, they not only retain majority opinions, but also retain a report of minority opinions, so they are called "minority reports".

the Analects of Confucius says: "the gentleman is harmonious but different".

in interpersonal communication, a gentleman can maintain a harmonious and friendly relationship with others, but he does not have to agree with each other on specific issues.

if you want to respect other people's choices, it's easy to say no, but it's also hard to say. Most of the time, some people will do something that doesn't respect other people's choices under the banner of "for your own good".

this will not only strain the relationship, but also add annoyance to yourself.

and the real maturity is to keep getting rid of "ego" and "I think"....

in the face of those things I don't like, instead of pointing fingers, I try to tolerate and accept everything.

only in this way can we exchange respect for respect and achieve a good interpersonal relationship.


truly mature people are pleasing to the eye

the ancients said, "if you are not a fish, you will know the joy of a fish."

everyone has his own way of living, and so does the world.It is because of the difference that it is rich and colorful.

A very important sign of immaturity is to ask others according to their own standards, while maturity requires, allows and respects differences.

everything is pleasing to the eye, it is a spiritual practice, get rid of obsession, respect differences, and broaden your mind and horizons.

this practice is the only way for everyone to mature.

if you have a state of mind, you can see the ever-changing scenery, have the ever-changing scenery, and there is no right and wrong in your mind.