I'm free tonight.

/December 2022

"are you free tonight?"

"I'm free tonight."

if I were free tonight, I would say this.

if I'm not free tonight, I'll say the same thing.

because I care about you, I am free all the time when I face you.

there was a time when I was so busy that I wanted to have 48 hours a day and grow three heads. Work during the day, often work overtime until more than ten o'clock at night, drag all tired, but also write manuscripts, and then keep revising.

my life is covered with things to do, and sometimes I wish I could turn on flight mode and sleep all day.

towards the end of work one night, he suddenly looked up me on Wechat and asked,

are you free tonight? "

" Yes "

I answered without thinking.

there are still papers to read at night, there are still a lot of things to deal with, and I don't even know what he wants with me. But no matter how small it is, it may be as small as "nothing to have a midnight snack". I am willing to put my business aside, and I don't even want to promise him right away.

"Don't you ask what you want to do? "

" er. Anything can be done

I am free tonight, as long as it is you and I are free, no matter what I do.

if I have a tail on my back, I must be wagging my tail when I face you.

Lin Xi wrote a lyric called "Mian Mian". It is rumored that this song is a love song written by Xi Yeh to Brother Ming, and the title "continuous" is the pronunciation of "Mingming" in Cantonese. There is a lyric that goes like this: "I used to be bored for you. I'd rather have a rest than have a rest. When I talked about the heavy rain, your windowsill was leaking."

We have all had this experience. In front of the person I like, I simply don't want to say "good night" at night. I wish I could chat with him until dawn and have a steady stream of words that I want to talk to each other. So it is more important to sacrifice sleep than to talk about small things like "leaking windowsill" than "I want to sleep".

as long as you find me, I'm not sleepy at all. As long as you find me, I often stay up late. As long as you find me, your bedtime is my bedtime.

I remember watching a question and answer on Zhihu. It was a boy who asked, "go to the movies with the girl she likes, but I don't want to see the film she wants. What should I do?" Here is a highly liked answer, which goes like this: "it seems you really want to go to the movies."

drunkenness is not the intention of drinking. If you go out with the girl you like, do you still care what movie you watch? If it were me, the person I like would ask me to go out to see a movie. Even if I was watching a three-star bad review and funny movie, I would be amused by every crappy plot because I was surrounded by him, and I would be extremely unforgettable because I had him at that time.

as long as you are the one who spends time with me, do you care what you do?

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I'm free. I'm free all the time.

I care about you, so you are more important than everything I face. I am willing to stay up late to finish the work at hand, I am willing to give you my sleep time; a lot of things to be solved, I am willing to try my best to squeeze time, improve my efficiency, and allocate the time I have saved to you; with a full schedule, I am willing to dig a gap in it and fill it with you.

so I don't care whether what you and I do is big or small, boring or interesting. As long as it is you, my "free" will become meaningful.

everyone has a yardstick in mind, which is covered with a variety of references. Some people put their work first, so they will say to their friends, "I have work to do tonight. Let's go out for a drink another day." When some people put their family first, they will think, "Let's have dinner with the family first, and we'll talk about other things later." And the reference of "important" in my mind is you, other things can only settle for second best, so I will say: "I will accompany you first, I am free."

you are the infinity on my yardstick, so any importance can only approach you infinitely, but cannot surpass you.

you said that the moonlight was so beautiful tonight, so you asked me to go for a walk on the playground to see the moon; you said that the new ice cream was delicious and asked me to taste it; you said that when it rained and forgot to bring an umbrella, you wanted me to show up at the cafe where you were reading; you said that you were suddenly hungry and wanted to eat midnight snacks and asked me to accompany you to sweep the streets. All these little things are big things in my eyes, and I want to turn my lack of time into a big thing when I have time.

because in my eyes, nothing is more important than you.

you are the busy I want most.

but if one day I say "I'm busy" to you, it must be because--

"I'm not free. I'm thinking about you."