If you don't want to hurt your child, don't be too kind to him.

how much can parents love their children?

recently, a video broke out on the Internet, which makes people sad and angry.

A boy in Jiangsu took several classmates home to play in the evening and was still quarrelling in his room in the early hours of the morning.

the father was afraid of affecting the neighbor's rest, so he reminded his son to go to bed early and have to go to school the next day.

unexpectedly, my son was immediately enraged and felt that he had lost face in front of his classmates.

first he yelled at his father and ordered him to go, then locked his father's neck and pushed him to the ground and punched and kicked him.

later, Grandpa came out and said a few words to his grandson, but the boy lifted his foot and directly kicked Grandpa to the ground.

at this time, the boy's anger still did not dissipate.

he grabbed his father by the neck, pressed him to the ground, opened a drink and poured it on his father's head.

the violent behavior of the boys is shocking, but the saddest thing is that no one in the family resisted during the whole process of violence.

as a father, he is as soft as a ball of cotton, allowing his children to pull and beat him, even though he has been treated so badly.

although the mother hindered it, it was only persuasion, but there was no real stop at all.

some people in the comments said: "if it is too good to the child, the child will be abandoned."

Yes, when we dig our hearts out and put our children on the tip of our hearts, we wish we could love him with our lives.

but I don't know that loving too much is too good for the child, which is actually a kind of harm.

if there is no bottom line, it will only breed the arrogance of children, making them unfilial, disrespectful and ungrateful.

and accept too much love, it is easy for them to indulge in comfort, habitually rely on their parents, and lose the ability to survive independently.

in the end, the more children who love to grow up, the more they enjoy when they are young, the more dangerous they will be when they grow up.

01

the comfort of childhood

is a trap for a child's future life

some time ago, a man hugged his mother and cried loudly on the Internet:

at that time, the man accidentally knocked down the takeout man, the scene was full of fragments, and the delivery boy was seriously injured.

however, the man's response was not to deal with it quickly, but to throw himself into his mother's arms and burst into tears: "Let the police not arrest me!" I didn't mean to. Whoo! "

his mother hugged him sadly and kept comforting: "it's all right. I'm not afraid."

the man's behavior, let us see in his adult body, panicked, can only hide in the arms of his mother's giant baby.

when he was a child, he might be comfortable. His mother loved him, helped him, and covered for him.

however, his mother's too much love also made him dependent. His body grew up, but his mind was not weaned at all.

as the old saying goes, a loving mother loses many children.

when parents are too kind to their children and love them too meticulously, the child will be bound and grow into a giant baby that can only rely on.

such children do not have the ability to cope with life, nor can they afford any wind and rain. Once the protection of parents is no longer, it will become difficult to move.

Jiangxi Satellite TV has a special news program.

the suspect in the first phase is a young man, Chen. He was arrested and jailed by the police for several burglaries.

what is surprising is that Chen's own family is well-off and he graduated from a bachelor's degree, so he doesn't seem to be on this road.

after the incident, in the interview with Chen's parents, we understood the root cause of Chen's downfall.

when I was a child, my mother loved Chen so much that she opened her mouth and clothes and held out her hand.

what Chen wants, his mother will be satisfied, and she will take whatever he wants in terms of money.

but this spoiling also makes Chen lose the ability to live independently, and he can't bear it in front of life at all.

after working for a year, Chen thought the work was too tired and refused to do it, so he resigned and went home to rely on his parents.

however, the money given by his mother could not satisfy his profligacy.

finally, when he was cash-strapped, he embarked on the road of theft.

in the interview, Chen's father said with remorse that he was too kind to his children when he was a child, which led to today's misguided path.

most of the time, parents think that to satisfy their child blindly is to be kind to him.

but I don't know that behind spoiling is a trap. Children who indulge in comfort cannot bear hardship when they grow up.

the blessings enjoyed by children when they are young will become the biggest pit in their future life.

02

White-eyed wolves

are all cultivated by their parents

before netizens exposed a video in the subway, which made people have mixed tastes. In the video, the boy is ferociously ordering his grandmother to give up his seat, pointing to his grandmother and yelling:

"I warn you, you stand up!"

"what are you! Don't you understand what people say? "

"I repeat, you get up!"

during this period, if there are other passengers who can't stand it, stop the boy from shouting.

but the boy replied directly, "mind your business and leave me alone!"

the boy's insolence is too much for strangers to bear, but the grandma who is ordered can only do nothing about it.

her educational boy turned a deaf ear. Finally, she stood up helplessly and gave up her seat to the boy.

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Grandma's defeat gives us a glimpse of the origin of a "little emperor".

for many parents, they really love their children to the bone and are reluctant to fightReluctant to scold, give him all the best you have.

however, being good without principles will only make your child trample on your bottom line.

finally, when parents can no longer feed them, they will hold a grudge and even show their fangs to their parents.

remember the previous news that the man was poisoned and cheated on insurance.

32-year-old Yang graduated from normal college. As an only child, he is the apple of his family's eye.

parents hold him in the palm of their hands, reluctant to let him suffer the slightest grievance, but also live frugally to send him to graduate from college.

however, Yang, who has been loved since childhood, can not accept the hardship of life.

so he blamed the abacus of sudden wealth on his parents.

he first bought multiple insurance for his parents, and then bought a large amount of nitrite, ready to poison his parents to cheat insurance.

at first, Yang mixed the poison into the beef for his parents to eat, but the parents didn't want to eat a bite out of love.

however, the insane Yang showed no remorse. he mixed the poison into the water and brought it to his parents.

after their parents were poisoned, they fell to the ground and struggled, but Yang stood coldly.

parents dig out their hearts and give all their love to their children, but in the end they become a selfish, cold-blooded white-eyed wolf.

Professor Li Meijin once said in the opening speech of CCTV:

when a child's character is not perfect, parents' doting is like burying thunder. In the end, the more you pay for him, the more deeply you will be hurt.

03

to be really kind to children

is to make them suffer more

educator Makalienko said:

there was a teacher who told the story of two children.

my brother is smart by nature, and his parents dote on him. He is not allowed to extend his hand in life, so he is only asked to study hard.

my younger brother is not very clever in his studies, so he becomes a good helper for his parents. He usually washes clothes and cooks and works in the fields.

later, my brother lived up to expectations and was admitted to a famous university.

but he lives thousands of miles away and seldom goes home empty-handed. When he leaves, he takes things with him in large and small bags from home.

although my brother's work is ordinary, he leads a down-to-earth life. He will feel sorry for his parents, pick them up, accompany and take care of them personally.

Love is a double-edged sword. once it is over, it is easy to turn the child into a crippled person: only know how to rely on and take, but do not know how to be independent and give.

if you really love your child, don't be too kind to him when you are young, but be cruel and make him suffer more.

Let the child suffer the hardships of life so that he can grow into an independent person and know that all gains require hard work.

Huo Qigang and Guo Jingjing know this very well.

have the best conditions, but they often take the children to take the initiative to find "bitter" to eat.

for example, they will deliberately cultivate their children's habit of doing housework.

the child can't reach the pot, but he has to help wash and pick vegetables, and even step on the stool to learn how to cook from his father.

during the holidays, they will take their children to the fields to plant rice seedlings and feel the hard work in the hot sun.

although it is born with a golden spoon, if a child wants a reward, he can only get it through labor, such as helping his father wash his car carefully.

but the child will grow up one day, and when the world will no longer obey his heart, what should he take to stand in the world?

while loving, retaining ruthlessness and restraint and cultivating children's ability as a human being are the best gifts that parents can give to their children.

04

loving children is not a self-emotion of parents.

to be kind to a child, it is not to hold him in his arms and take care of him gently for a lifetime.

if you really love your children, don't just be kind to them, but push them to life, learn and adapt to the real world.