Happiness is hidden in confusion.

/June 2022

two days ago, I came across a popular interview video about Han Hong.

in the video, the host asked Han Hong such a question: what does being serious bring you?

Han Hong replied:

in the comment area, netizens all agree with this remark.

some people say that because they were too serious, they had to divide everything between right and wrong with their partner, resulting in the destruction of a relationship.

some people say that they always live like a detective and refuse to let go of anything, but it is like putting shackles on themselves. The more they struggle, the tighter they strangle them, and the more painful they are.

others told an experience of their own.

when chatting with friends during dinner, Scrambled Egg with Tomato quarreled over whether to put the tomatoes or eggs first, and finally broke up the relationship.

in fact, many troubles in life lie in being too serious. You have to compete for everything and figure it out. As a result, you make yourself physically and mentally exhausted.

Bai Yansong said: there are two basic points in life, one is chic, the other is muddle-headed.

when I was young, I always felt that I had to figure things out before I could rest assured, and I had to fight for a clear understanding before I was convinced.

later, as I grew older and experienced, I finally found that

it hurts the most to understand everything, and it is most tiring to figure out everything.

in this life, the more sober you live, the more likely you are to be unhappy.

Happiness is actually hidden in the word "muddle-headed" many times.


there is no need to be too clear

to have such a story.

there are two people who fall into the water, one with good eyesight and the other with myopia. Both men struggled desperately in the water.

suddenly, the one with good eyesight saw a boat in front of him, drifting towards them.

the one who suffers from myopia also sees it vaguely.

so both men swam hard towards the boat.

swimming, the one with good eyesight was out of breath and stopped, for he saw clearly that it was not a boat, but a piece of dead wood.

but people with myopia don't know it's a piece of wood and still swim hard.

when he finally reached his destination and found that it was a piece of wood, he was not far from the shore.

in the end, people with good eyesight lost their lives in the water, while people with myopia were able to save themselves.

there are many things in life, it is better not to know than to know.

if you see too clearly, if you make it too clear, it will only add to your troubles.

A blogger in Zhihu said that he is a person who likes to dig to the bottom and has to make everything clear.

for example, when you finish a quarrel with someone, you must ask which sentence the quarrel is about and whose fault it is.

sometimes even when the other person's psychology is very contradictory, he still tries his best to figure out the problem.

this makes his interpersonal relationship particularly bad, and he is so upset about it that he is just trying to figure it out. Is it wrong?

the advice given to him by a netizen has received a lot of praise:

"if the ultimate goal is for self-review and leave it for future improvement, anyone can accept it."

but it is necessary to bring others back together and go over it again from beginning to end, and it is necessary to find out the root cause of the contradiction. This is obsessive-compulsive disorder.

A lot of things don't have to be so serious at all. Fuzziness is not so sharp and a little more muddled, so that it can be buffered a little more. "

I think so.

A man who is most observant is not an apprentice.

there are too many things in life, not all black and white, blindly serious, chasing hard, will only annoy others, tired themselves.

there is a Buddhist saying: "Don't do too much, and don't be too clear."

things in the world are disturbing one after another, all of which are impermanent.

you don't have to get to the bottom of everything and find out what's going on, and you don't have to worry about it all the time.


reason, don't be too bright

writer Carnegie once told a personal experience.

once he attended a banquet where someone said a sentence and explained that it was quoted from the Bible.

Carnegie felt wrong and pointed out on the spot that this sentence was from Shakespeare.

the two men hold their own opinions and argue endlessly.

so he had to ask a friend who was very familiar with Shakespeare to judge right or wrong.

his friend secretly winked at him and then agreed with the man.

after the banquet, Carnegie asked his friend, very puzzled, why should he take sides with the wrong side when it was clearly from Shakespeare?

my friend said with a smile, pointing out his mistakes, he will continue to struggle with you, wasting time and affecting your mood, so there is no need to argue with him, it is unwise to argue with people face to face.

Carnegie thought it made sense and warned people that

this is the case with many problems in life, and there is no practical point in fighting.

you think spring is beautiful, he thinks autumn is good;

you think freelance is chic, he thinks stable work is reliable;

Star 8th grade prom dresses low New Arrivals in different latest trendy designs!

you think ritual is very important, he thinks it's just a waste of money;

you think fast pace is fulfilling, he thinks slow down is happy.


there are no standard answers to many questions. everyone has different cognition, stand from different angles, and have different standards to measure the same thing.

therefore, there is no need to fight for right or wrong, to win or lose.

many timesWin the truth, but lose the feelings.

Yang Jiang recorded an event in "the three of us".

she and Qian Zhongshu once flushed because of the pronunciation of a French word and said a lot of hurtful words.

finally, under the judgment of a French lady, Yang Jiang was judged to be wrong about Qian Zhongshu.

although Yang Jiang won, she felt boring and unhappy. Qian Zhongshu lost, of course, not happy.

after that quarrel, Yang Jiang suddenly realized that there was no need to quarrel. The two people quarreled and could not change the rules of pronunciation. On the contrary, they spoiled each other's interest and hurt their feelings.

there is a saying in the Book of morality: "the way of saints, do not fight for it."

people who are really wise will endure humiliation, remain silent, and disdain to take things seriously.

because they understand that the more serious they are, the more energy they spend; the more they argue, the more they hurt their feelings.

things in this world have always been fair and reasonable, and it is difficult to tell them apart.

if it's not a matter of principle, you don't have to win or lose.

it is great wisdom to know how to pretend to be confused properly.


elites have many worries, and fools

A Dream of Red Mansions

Granny Liu was asked to hold pigeon eggs with slippery chopsticks, and many colorful flowers were planted on Grandma Liu's head, dressing her up as a flirtatious "old leprechaun", which made everyone laugh.

according to reason, people can't help but get angry when they pretend to be ugly in public, make a fool of themselves, and be ridiculed and teased by everyone.

but Granny Liu not only did not care, but also took the opportunity to make fun of herself:

in fact, Grandma Liu knew that Wang Xifeng and others deliberately made a fool of herself and wanted to make Lady Jia happy. She just deliberately chose to pretend to be confused and amuse everyone.

so later, when Wang Xifeng apologized to her for teasing her, she said something like this:

see through, see through. This is the wisdom of Grandma Liu.

it seems silly, but in fact it is just pretending to be confused, which not only helps others, but also does not embarrass yourself.

compared with Sister Feng, who is as smart as a snake all the time, she is more popular and has less trouble.

there is a good saying: a wise man adds sorrow, but a fool has a fool's blessing.

Life is not as usual. Learn to be confused and pretend to be stupid once in a while, so that you can live an easy and comfortable life.

as the movie

Ji Xianlin once said:

confusion is not foolishness, but the clarity of great wisdom, and the freedom and ease of everything with the wind;

is not silly, but an open-minded argument everywhere;

is not unclear, but a kind of "sober work, simple life" high EQ.

Great wisdom is to be half sober and half confused.