Education engraved in the bones (good text in depth)

/August 2022

Sukhomlinski, a former Soviet educator, once said:

then what is education?

Education is the cultivation of one's culture and moral character, a kind of rule that one has learned since childhood, and a kind of respectful attitude of dealing with people and doing things.

Feng Yiyin said in remembering Father Feng Zikai:


upbringing is education and cultivation

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, education and cultivation, cultural inheritance and acquired learning norms.

A person's upbringing is not inborn, but the good qualities and habits formed by acquired learning and education and the atmosphere of the whole body, and the virtue precipitated by life experience and spiritual practice.

when we are born with a blank sheet of paper, we doodle the rest of our lives, and a person's upbringing is based on his own learning and norms.

people say that parents are the first teachers of their children, and the family is the cradle of their children's growth.

Family environment is the basic factor for children's healthy growth, and parents' conduct affects their children's upbringing.

in the three-character Sutra, it is the father's fault to teach or not to teach; lax teaching, lazy teachers, if people are not educated, it is the incompetence of their parents and teachers.

"Simon Mother, choose the neighbor" only keeps the children away from those bad factors and creates a good educational environment for them.

Mr. Hu Shi once recalled his mother and said, "if I can learn a little bit of good temper, if I can learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and be considerate-- I have to thank my loving mother."

it can be seen that their own family atmosphere and the conduct and behavior of their parents will gradually permeate the conduct and upbringing of their children in their lives.

British Chesterfield said:

as the saying goes, "if you don't carve jade, you won't become a tool; if you don't learn, you won't know what's right."

if you want to distinguish right from wrong, you have to learn to be a person of noble character, and to be an educated person, you have to learn, learn to correct yourself, live in the world, and deal with others.


cultivation is an internal cultural accomplishment

Demetrie Likhachev said in "on cultivation":

but the premise is to understand what is real upbringing.

upbringing comes from the heart and is integrated into an internal quality based on the growth environment, educational foundation, and self-experience.

whether a person is cultured or not is not only polite in behavior, but also pays more attention to its cultural connotation and moral cultivation.

among them, culture not only refers to cultural knowledge, but also a kind of consciousness formed by the combination of behavior habits and spiritual values.

writer Liang Xiaosheng said:

once, on the way downstairs, Lenin came across a female worker who went upstairs with basin water. When the female worker saw that it was Lenin, she hurried to make way for Lenin.

Lenin stopped it and leaned against the wall to let the women pass first. at the same time, he said, "you don't have to do this. You have a basin in your hand, and I'm empty-handed. Please go first!"

Lenin speaks warmly and the word "please" is very loud. He didn't go downstairs until the girl went upstairs.

this is a daily trivial matter, but it reflects the greatness of his inner quality. He is not arrogant and insolent because of his noble status, but the kindness of giving convenience to others.

Cultural accomplishment is a kind of temperament emitted from within, which is an invisible force emitted from self-cognition, self-education, self-learning and precipitation to a certain extent.

whether a person has a culture or not does not depend on his educational background, but on whether he has the temperament and self-cultivation that has been virtually precipitated.

people with culture can always find beauty and hope in things, and they are full of great yearning for a bright future.


upbringing is different from politeness but depends on politeness

. It comes from the heart, is a kind of comprehensive internal quality accomplishment after time training and standardization, and is a behavior habit in dealing with people and things.

politeness is an external behavior, a courteous and courteous behavior that can be pretended by imitation and deliberation, and it does not necessarily come from the heart.

people with good manners are always polite.

A polite person is not necessarily a cultured person.

if a person is golden on the outside and cannot practice both inside and outside, such a person is not educated and can only be called a "hypocrite".

A person with sharp teeth and sharp mouth does good deeds behind his back. We cannot say that such a person is educated. We can only say that he has a kind heart and a knife mouth and a tofu heart.

in daily life, after a quarrel, we can always hear the person who persuades the quarrel say, "Don't be like him. He is just like that. He has a bad mouth but a kind heart. Don't mind too much." Wait a minute or something.

but he forgot that the speaker was careless, the listener intended, and the injury was often in those one or two words, and after the injury was riddled with holes.

"good words are warm in three winters, but bad words make people cold in June." educated people will not be open-mouthed, nor will they use venomous and kind-hearted as an excuse; on the contrary, educated people are comfortable to get along.

Goethe said:


cultivation is self-restraint and heart-to-heart comparison

"Cai Gentan": "educated people do not blame others for their mistakes, do not regard others as selfish, and do not think about other people's old evils."

cultured people do not condemn other people's minor mistakes, do not casually expose other people's privacy, and do not talk about the disadvantages of other people's past.

upbringing is reflected in the details.

it is not a joke, much less embarrassing or contemptuous.

Locke said: "the essence of upbringing is not to show responsibility to anyone in communication."How to despise or insult. "

educated people do not embarrass others and know how to reflect on themselves and adjust their behavior in time after offending others.

when you are reading in the library, you can choose what you like to read, but don't talk loudly, this is your personal upbringing.

when someone is resting in a public area, you can't always make noise and affect others.

otherwise you are low-quality and ill-educated.

whether a person has the highest upbringing depends on whether he knows how to care about other people's feelings, whether he knows how to compare his heart to heart, and whether he will make the people he associates with feel cordial, comfortable and satisfied.

Internal self-cultivation attracts like-minded people, external behavior and etiquette bring each other closer, and internal and external cultivation is a barrier to the stability of all relationships.

upbringing is a major topic in life, which requires us to spend our whole life studying.