Don't overdraw your relationship with anyone.
01
self-media man Lao Wu told a story.
Lao Wu's young man had a house in his hometown, which was later demolished and assigned to a new house.
because I have already bought a house in the city, the new house is idle, and I want to sell it when I am young.
soon after the news of selling the house was released, a friend who was young contacted him and wanted to buy a house.
thinking about the old love, I offered a very favorable price to my friend, but there was a condition that I had to pay it all at once, and the friend gladly agreed to it.
within a few days, my friend contacted and posted a novel. He couldn't come up with so much money all of a sudden, or give him a small change.
the lowest price has already been given, but as a result, the change has to be erased. Although it is a little embarrassing, I finally bravely agreed to it.
A few days after the result, a friend contacted to send a novel. If he made an one-time payment, he didn't have so much money and needed a loan.
the loan will generate interest. Can you make small payments in installments so that you don't have to borrow money and save interest?
when I was young, I couldn't stand it. He got angry on the spot and said, "I won't sell you the house."
later, Fa Xiao sold the house through an intermediary, and the transaction price was much higher than that originally given to friends.
and the relationship between Xiao Fa and this friend came to an abrupt end, and there was no intersection.
02
A friend of the writer's late stand resigned and opened a shop. after opening the shop, in order to take care of his friend's business, he not only went to patronize the evening stand himself, but also took his friends with him several times.
on the day my friend opened the shop, the evening stand also posted advertisements and publicity for his friend in the moments.
she thinks she has done a good job in helping her friends open a shop.
but in the eyes of her friends, she seems to have done far enough, and almost every time she meets, she still asks for an evening stand to introduce her business.
chatting on Wechat, too, each time it starts with "Honey, are you doing me a favor? can you do me a favor?" and then ask her to help promote the activities in the store.
at the beginning of the evening stand, I will be forced to say yes, but more times, it is inevitable that I am a little impatient, occasionally euphemistically saying that I am busy, hoping my friends can understand the subtext behind it.
but my friend said disapprovingly, "I'm not in a hurry. Give me a hand when you're not busy."
the late love affair is hindered by the step-by-step concession of love, but the friend gets worse and explodes indiscriminately.
later, the endless evening stand began to alienate this friend, and slowly, the two were completely out of touch.
03
Why are you telling these two stories?
because I have seen too many clutches, I have come to understand a truth:
all relationships begin to fade, starting from overdraft.
because I have a good relationship with a friend, I ask him for help again and again and trouble him. Even if it is a trivial matter every time, my friend will inevitably choose to flee after a long time.
I always feel that doing housework and taking care of the elderly and children are the responsibility of my partner. I feel at ease and become a shopkeeper. My partner pays alone all the year round, and gradually loses confidence in marriage.
relying on parents' boundless tolerance, when they are angry, they always say something indiscriminately and constantly get it from their parents, gradually chilling their hearts.
as Cai Kangyong said:
"there is an emotional account between people. Every time they make each other happy, they save a little more, and every time they make each other sad, they save less."
all feelings have a quota, so don't squander it willfully.
when your savings account becomes zero, that's when the other person leaves.
once you leave, you can never get it back.
04
any emotional maintenance, there is never a shortcut, only business.
the better the relationship, the more you should pay attention to each other instead of overdrawing easily.
on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala, we can always see the old couple Cai Ming and Guo Da.
Cai Ming and Guo Da have worked together for many years, and they are also very good friends in private.
on one occasion, the two went to Tibet to take part in a public welfare performance, and the sketch was called "injection".
in previous performances, props were just a needle without a needle.
but this time the organizer was careless and did not pull out the needle from the needle when preparing the props.
during the performance, due to lack of oxygen at high altitude, Cai Ming's consciousness was vague, and he did not notice this omission, so he directly stuck the needle on Guo Da's butt, and Guo Da screamed again and again in pain.
afterwards, although Guo Da said it didn't matter, Cai Ming felt sorry.
knowing that Guo Da likes to collect coins, Cai Ming specially bought a few coins from Tibet 140 years ago and gave them to Guo Da as an apology.
many people are confused and feel that the two have known each other for many years and are close friends, so there is no need to make such a painstaking apology.
in this regard, Cai Ming said:
the greatest stupidity of people is that the better the relationship, the more unscrupulous they are in front of each other.
people who are really smart are reluctant to overdraw good relationships, because they all know that adult relationships are hard to come by.
in this world, there are not many people who really treat you well. If you lose one, you lose one.
05
there is a good saying:
"never put friendship on an incredible height. Some friends are people who bring good things to themselves at a stage. Enjoy each other rather than bind each other."
A really good relationship often has its own sense of proportion.
in the entertainment circle, Huang Bo, Xu Zheng and Ning Hao are called "the most powerful iron triangle in China's film industry". The three people can maintain a deep friendship because they all know how to divide.
in 2011, Ning Hao wanted to film the Golden robbery, and Xu Zheng liked the role of the leading actor in the film.
but Ning Hao felt that Xu Zheng was not suitable, so he refused Xu Zheng, and Xu Zheng never mentioned it again.
seeing that the movie is about to start, Ning Hao still did not find a suitable leading actor. Xu Zheng did not introduce himself again at this time, but introduced Lei Jiayin to Ning Hao.
I have to say that Xu Zheng has a very good sense of division, because he knows how not to embarrass his friends.
Friendship is the same, and so is marriage.
there is an old couple in Japan. Grandpa is meticulous and planned, but Grandma is a little careless.
the two people have very different personalities, but they have been in love all their lives. The secret of happiness is actually very simple: "intimacy".
Grandpa doesn't like vegetables, and Grandma never forces him to eat them "for his own good".
Inspire and be delightfully charming when in our junior plus size homecoming dresses. Our trendy collections are surprisingly affordable.
Grandpa doesn't stop Grandma from buying anything, as long as she's happy.
especially like the sentence: "We need intimacy, but we don't need interference." We need warmth, but we don't need baking. "
everything is limited. Once you cross the line, you will feel tired from each other, and you will have a grudge against each other over time.
keep a sense of limit, don't ask too much, don't ask too much, get along comfortably, so that you can stay together for a long time.
finally, I would like to share with you a passage:
"A good interpersonal relationship is like a tree. It is usually nothing to water and take care of, and occasionally you can see a few beautiful flowers, which is pleasing to the eye.
if you are lucky, it is even more fortunate to bear a few fruits and share the sweetness of life together. "
remember, never overdraw your relationship with anyone.