Confident children have such parents standing behind them.
A philosopher once said, "he who has self-confidence is half successful."
every parent wants their children to be confident and cheerful, always proud and bright, and always move forward bravely.
however, whether children are self-confident or not is not born, but the parents' education gives them different colors.
when we envy other people's children who are full of confidence, we should see what kind of parents stand behind them.
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there is a girl with cleft lip and palate in Juvenile Shuo. She always has a little inferiority complex because of her appearance.
the girl said:
but her family and friends have been encouraging her, telling her, "you are the best child in the world."
because of these encouragement, the girl slowly became confident and stood on the stage. She said loudly,
"Mom, thank you for always supporting me, encouraging me, comforting me when I am sad, and making me confident. I want to strive to be your proudest child."
the philosopher James said: the most ardent demand of human nature is the desire to be affirmed.
so, as parents, please don't be stingy with encouragement. Parents' affirmation and encouragement are the courage and strength of children to face the world and the source of their happiness.
teach children self-confidence, encouragement is often more effective than other ways, give children self-confidence, not "modesty", but "we are proud of you".
parents with stable emotions
with the rapid development of society, emotional collapse and anxiety seem to have become the norm of parents.
the report on the current situation of parent-Child Education in China in 2016 pointed out that about 87% of parents admitted that they had had anxiety, of which nearly 20% had moderate anxiety and nearly 7% had serious anxiety.
parents can't be perfect, but they can't bring their negative emotions to their children and let them bear their own out-of-control emotions.
in the movie Spring Tide, a single mother lives alone with her daughter. the mother is very cheerful and loving in the eyes of outsiders, but she gives all her negative emotions to her daughter. In such an environment, the daughter begins to harm herself.
finally, when the mother fell ill and was hospitalized, the daughter did not forgive her, and even said:
the mood of the parents determines the family atmosphere, and the family atmosphere determines the happiness of the child. Parents with stable emotions will make their children sense of security and confident all their lives.
parents who respect their children
Fu Seoul once shared such a story on the program. at a family gathering, at the dinner table, his son's aunt asked him to recite a poem.
when she heard this, she immediately stood up and shouted, "I'll recite it, I'll recite it to you, and I can sing you a song!"
everyone laughed, but then she said:
"the earliest competitive atmosphere was that at the family table, there were always a few relatives who would let the children improvise while drinking.
if others can recite five songs at a time, but they can't memorize any of them, then the child will certainly feel inferior to others, fall into self-denial and lose self-confidence. "
this kind of situation is very common, there are always some relatives will cheer their children to praise the program, and parents will order their children to be "bold" for their own face.
even when the child says no, the humiliated parents will lecture the child loudly in front of the public and crush their self-esteem in public.
although children are young, they also have self-esteem, and they even have stronger self-esteem than adults. Only parents who fully respect their children and do not force them to feel happy, confident and positive will make them feel happy, confident and positive. This is the best state for children to receive education.
parents who are willing to let go
in the documentary "Post-Zero", Xikun's mother resigned at home to accompany her son, while his father went out to make a living and separated from mother and son.
fatherly love is absent, while Xikun's mother controls her child under the banner of "everything is for your own good" and refuses to let go.
under such education, Xikun gradually became untalkative. At a young age, there was always helplessness in his eyes.
later, Xikun's mother finally knew that the love she gave was not what her child needed.
she sighs: being a 60-point mother is enough. She worries too much.
as the netizen Dark Blue of the cancelled person said:
"is it to live as a standard, or to be a self, to be an independent 'person'? This problem is always done by the parents first and then by the children. however, the result of this problem will eventually belong to the child.
parents can only be the starting point and source for their children. The source is impossible, unnecessary, and can not be arranged in all directions of the river. "
parents who are reluctant to let go will only turn their children into marionettes in their hands and will only follow instructions. once there are no instructions, they will be at a loss and feel that they can do nothing.
therefore, if parents want their children to have independence and self-confidence, they must be willing to let go and give their children more independent space.
give children more encouragement and less blow;
give children more warmth and less temper;
give children more respect and less dictatorship;
give children more freedom and less orders.
so that children have enough strength to explore the world and face the surprises of unknown difficulties.