A wise man is a loner.

Su Qin said:

sometimes we always want to get the recognition of the people around us. If you dig out your heart and heart to be good to others and hold out a steaming heart, you may not be able to win each other's acceptance and respect.

in fact, in a relationship, it is always ignored and there is no need to force yourself.

Why bother to maintain it if it is not cherished.

the rest of my life is not long. It is better to learn to please yourself than to please others.

01

circles are different, so there is no need to integrate

there is a problem in Zhihu:

someone replied, "first of all, you have to give up your life."

Quxiao, from the TV series Ode to Joy, also tried to integrate into each other's lives in order to catch up with his beloved Dr. Zhao.

Doctor Zhao, born from a scholarly family, likes reading and listening to classical music. He is lofty and talented at heart.

Quxiao gauze, "rich second generation", likes to play crazy, go clubbing and make friends.

two seemingly unrelated people, it's really hard to get along with each other.

in order to please Dr. Zhao, Quxiao will spend three hours waiting outside the operating room, accompany him to concerts that he does not understand, and go to the library to read books that are difficult to understand.

in order not to go clubbing, he will turn down the invitation of his friends and pretend to be virtuous, gentle and generous in front of Dr. Zhao's mother.

in this relationship, Quxiao, who used to be free and easy, confident and interesting, becomes self-abased, cowardly and flustered, especially afraid that he has no connotation and is not worthy of the person he likes.

soon, something that made her more flustered happened. At that time, four people were playing cards at home, and Andy won one after another. Quxiao complained that she was "deceiving people". Singularity took care of everyone's mood and softened the atmosphere, and mentioned that Andy really shouldn't play tricks.

Andy jokes about Singularity:

QuXiao Shu misunderstood Andy's joke and made fun of Singularity. Why would Andy call her wife? Does Andy think he's not manly enough!

Quxiao's words made the atmosphere extremely awkward, and Dr. Zhao was even more pale and angry.

in fact, Lady Macbeth mentioned by Andy is a character in Shakespeare's four tragedies Macbeth.

Andy's original intention is to say that Singularity is also his own "accomplice", so don't always blame her.

but these are unknown to QuXiao gauze.

because of this, Quxiao was ashamed and felt that he had exposed his ignorance in front of everyone. He went to Andy's house and burst into tears.

because of the many differences in the process of getting along, Quxiao feels more and more that neither of them is the best one for each other.

after several thoughts, Quxiao made up his mind and broke up.

between people, there is no need to deliberately integrate into other people's circles and please others.

if you deliberately cater to "giving everything you have", you may not get what you want.

although the circle is small, it is good to be clean.

it's much happier to wear a crown in your own circle than to force a smile in someone else's circle.

it is hard to avoid three points of distortion in the affection that has been solicited. Only the affection that attracts each other will be affectionate and sweet.

02

There is nothing more desirable than one of our long sleeve beach wedding dresses. Once you make up your choice, relax, we will take care of everything.

loneliness is apparent loneliness, but gregariousness is inner loneliness

writer Liu Tong once said:

loneliness is everyone's normal life, and it will bring you reflection in good times and guide you to see yourself clearly in adversity.

Victor, the lead actor in the Swiss movie Piano Boy who wants to fly, is a gifted generalist with amazing piano talent, but Victor, who is so excellent, has become an outlier in the eyes of his peers.

in kindergarten, others sang children's songs, he read encyclopedias, others played games, and he played chess.

after skipping grades to enter the university, no one wants to play with him. They all call him "professor, wretch".

under heavy pressure from many sides, Victor deliberately jumped from a building and pretended to be an "ordinary person" after being injured.

soon, Victor transferred to the new school, made good friends and integrated into everyone, but he always felt lonely inside.

his loneliness comes from the fact that he has lost his way and can't see what he wants and what he wants to be.

in order to "pretend" to be ordinary people like them, he pretended that he could not play the piano well, played chess well, could not answer the teacher's questions, and pretended that he liked playing their games, but he was not happy.

one day, Victor went to the bookstore and saw his favorite piano CD. Without hesitation, he paid for it.

after returning home, Victor immediately devoted himself to the piano music, uncontrollably opened the piano and began to play. At that moment, his love for the piano was completely inspired.

after seeing his heart, Victor regained his confidence and became the talented little piano prince again.

there was a topic in the variety show "Strange talk": "I don't fit in, do I want to change?"

debater Yan Rujing said this:

one sentence resonates with countless people.

in order to be gregarious, force yourself to change, even if you blend in, but lose yourself, it's really not worth it.

people who are really mature will not pursue to be gregarious, and they will not let dispensable socialization bring down their high quality of life.

Schopenhauer said:

A good life begins with a clear understanding of yourself. they clearly know that the world is their own, has nothing to do with others, and that the most important thing is to be real and hard-working.

03

you don't have to make everyone like

Ji Kang wrote in the Collection of doubts:

too many people would rather "grievance and perfection" for the sake of the so-called "friendship", dare not express their true ideas, and just want to leave a good impression on others.Elephant.

Eli, who is simple and kind in the Japanese short film attitude Doll, never expected that in order to win the favor of the people and friends around him, he "smiled" every day to show his face, unwittingly, turned into a face that could not move.

by chance, Eli was discovered by talent scouts, loved by thousands of people, and became a "smiling angel" in their mouths.

how many people can understand the sadness and grievance behind Eli's smile?

someone else accidentally killed his beloved goldfish. Instead of showing a trace of anger, Eli smiled and said, "I'll buy another one."

everything arranged by colleagues and leaders, she never dares to say "no" but smiles, and always accepts it completely.

A friend taunts her and despises her in front of others. Although she heard the words really, she dared not refute each other, only stared at the cold ground, lowered her head timidly, and curled up into her own world.

when she learns the truth: many people don't really like her, they just like her "skin".

she decided to find herself and take off the mask that bound her.

Ellie slammed herself in the face with the microphone in front of the audience on the stage of the national tour, the mask was broken, and her broken heart.

she got rid of the shackles and wanted to free herself and find her real face. Behind the breakable mask, there was nothing but a black hole.

she still lost herself.

Eli, with his mutilated face held high, shouted desperately to the crowd:

at that moment, Eli, who was beyond recognition, was particularly distressing.

after reading thousands of things in the world, you will eventually understand that not everyone in the world understands your goodness. if you keep a low profile and endure and give countless times, you may not be able to win the favor and sincerity of others.

you don't have to invite too many people into your life, or your life will be disturbed and crowded.

"it must be hard for you to be so sensible." there is a saying in the book:

the highest happiness in the world is to please yourself and live to be angular, unique, and like yourself.

04

the rest of my life is not long. Please learn to please yourself

the most comfortable relationship between people is not flattering, not aggrieved, not forced.

to please others, it is better to please yourself first; to achieve others, it is better to be yourself.

John Lennon said a passage that was particularly touching:

when I was five years old, my mother told me that the key to life is happiness.

after school, people ask me what I want to do when I grow up, and I write down 'Happy'.

they told me that I misunderstood the topic; I told them that they misunderstood life. "

May we live a free and magnanimous life, love and hate, chic and happy.

to all the good things in the world and to all the ups and downs in the world.

be the best you can be and spend the rest of your life without complaining or regret.