A positive mother is the luck of her child's life.

recently, when I watched the TV series "Xiao she de", there was a scene that was unforgettable.

has always been the monitor's Huan Huan. She was defeated in the latest class cadre election. She, who couldn't accept the reality for the moment, cried when she got home.

Song Jia's mother Nan Li, in order to comfort her daughter, specially leaves her husband and son and takes her daughter to ride the Ferris wheel.

watching her daughter depressed, the mother put her arm around her daughter's shoulder and gently put her hand on her hand, saying softly:

she told her daughter:

"when my mother was a teenager, Grandpa and Grandma divorced, and my mother cried in the quilt every night."

"it's as if the sky is going to fall."

"Mom was so scared that she was afraid to wake up and leave me alone."

this was something she didn't want to think about, but she tore open the pain caused by her parents' divorce in order to tell her daughter:

"as long as you stick to it, bad things will pass."

after listening to my mother's words, Huanhuan, who had been unhappy all the time, finally hugged her mother with a smile.

once read a sentence:

"every good mother is the best psychiatrist for her child."

some of the qualities of a mother, sometimes like a good medicine, can slowly heal a child's inner pain.

01

Mother's optimism makes the child not negative

Zhihu has netizens to share their stories.

in a final exam in primary school, she scored 85 in math. When she came home with her report card, she was very depressed.

when her mother asked her what had happened, she didn't say a word, but handed the report card directly to her mother and went back to her room.

when eating, she just kept her head down and poked the rice in the bowl with chopsticks.

Mother also stopped chopsticks, reached out and touched her head, and asked gently:

she sighed and then said:

Mother gently poked her in the face and told her with a smile:

this made her laugh and made her stop worrying about the exam results.

another time, the family planned to have a picnic in the forest park, and she looked forward to it for a whole week.

as a result, on the morning of the day of departure, it began to rain heavily.

she looked at the sandwiches, cupcakes and juice prepared the night before. She ran straight back to her room and cried on the bed.

she feels that her life is really unlucky. The more she expects, the less she can get.

before long, my mother knocked on the door and came in and sighed:

this sentence made her laugh.

although I can't go on a picnic, it's also a good memory for the family to play at home together.

growing up, there are more things that don't go well.

but she seldom becomes depressed or negative. Instead, she will actively look for a solution or look at the problem from a different perspective.

it is because of her mother's optimism that she, who is absorbing negative information all the time, gradually has an optimistic attitude towards herself, the world and the future.

even if something bad happens, you won't lose hope and vitality for it.

just like a sentence in Mo Yan's prose Mother:

my mother's optimism suddenly gave me a kind of sense of security and hope for the future.

the optimism of the mother will make the child live in the sunshine all his life.

this is a force that affects the whole life, and it is the courage of children when they encounter setbacks and difficulties.

as mothers, our most important task is to prevent our children from developing a pessimistic way of thinking.

Let children learn to face events beyond their control with an optimistic and positive attitude.

02

Mother's encouragement keeps the child from feeling inferior

there is a girl in the live variety show "Juvenile Shuo" who was born with a defect-cleft lip and palate.

in order to repair this defect, she has had many operations and needles.

but her own "difference" has finally become the source of her inner inferiority complex.

she hardly has the courage to take the initiative to talk to others. When communicating with others, either deliberately shut your mouth or wear a mask.

I can't help but try to cover my mouth.

but her mother is always by her side, encouraging her, telling her:

"you are the best kid in the world."

"I think you are just beautiful."

because of these encouragement, she gradually became confident, no longer hiding behind the crowd, but actively participated in various activities organized by the school.

although I don't have a strong heart, I still feel uncomfortable when I am criticized by others.

but during every difficult time, my mother never stopped appreciating and affirming her.

that's why she had the courage to stand on the stage and tell her mother loudly:

she smiled shyly, but she seemed to shine all over her body.

Mother's encouragement gives the child endless spiritual strength and forges the child's strong heart.

like armor, it protects the child from the outside world and gives the child the courage to make himself better.

remember that there is a word in psychology called "Hawthorne effect".

means that when people realize that they are being noticed, they deliberately change some behavior or verbal expression.

the mother's encouragement is to tell the child that he is watched, loved, and sends a signal:

Mom is also their strength and strength at the critical moment.

this can not only break a child's inherent negative opinion of himself, but also reshape his perception and self-confidence.

as Heim G. Ginot, Ph.D. in American psychology, said:

"useful praise allows children to draw positive conclusions from our words:

I am liked, I am appreciated, I am respected, I am capable."

Children who grow up with encouragement and support can not only face the future life confidently, but also develop a strong heart, full of courage and courage.

03

the mother's listening, so that the child is not rebellious

Professor Li Meijin once said: "to educate the child, it should be sparse and not blocked."

A tough or perfunctory attitude often only makes children feel resistant.

only when children can listen, can children open their hearts, and can we understand their rebellion and give them the love and help they need most.

some netizens said that he was impressed by something he experienced when he was a child.

once in junior high school, when he was fighting with his classmates, he accidentally broke his classmate's Walkman.

because he didn't want to be scolded by his parents, he secretly took one hundred yuan from his father's wallet to compensate his classmates.

before the next day, my father found out that he had stolen the money, and without saying a word, he picked up the clothes pole and was ready to hit him.

Mom rushed over and stopped Dad and told him to go back to his room first.

when he returned to his room, he was very nervous, scared and unconvinced.

before long, my mother came in, sat by the bed and asked him if he had anything he wanted.

in the face of his mother's gentle question, he said no at first.

but later, I still couldn't help telling my mother the whole story.

Mom wasn't angry, she just listened silently.

whether he smashed other people's Walkman or stole his father's money, his mother did not scold, let alone beat and scold.

after he finished, his mother took out 100 yuan from her pocket and changed it for him to steal his father's money. She smiled and said

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"take it back to school tomorrow to pay compensation to your classmates. Apologize well. It won't happen again."

after this incident, he felt that he could always open his heart to his mother.

because the first thing my mother did was not to blame him, but to listen to him and give him a chance to express his thoughts and emotions.

there is a saying in "the best education is not anxious":

and the best "identity" is to listen.

when a child knows that there is no need to hide his feelings, and when someone is willing to share with him, he will no longer resist your approach and will be more willing to be disciplined.

when mothers know how to lower their posture, listen to their children equally and patiently, and their children feel respected, paid attention to, and understood, they will consciously adjust their behavior and try to make themselves better.

04

fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie said:

the character of a child comes from the mother to a large extent.

everything a mother does, every word she says, every emotion she expresses will unwittingly infiltrate her child's body and take root in her heart in an almost extremely fast way.

therefore, it is worth every mother's efforts to give her children love and guidance, to provide examples, and to turn their strength into a driving force for their children's growth.

May every mother heal the pain in her child's heart and accompany her child to grow up healthily.