A person's greatest disaster: being kind to outsiders and losing his temper with his family

/June 2022

the Book of Rites. University: "self-cultivation and then family, family and then the rule of the country."

if you want to achieve greater success, you should first deal with your attitude towards your family.

but the reality is that if you don't like your family, you will blame them; if your expectations are not met, you will roar; if your family is wrong, you will talk to each other.

We leave the gentleman to outsiders, but the worst to our families.

but the family is at odds with each other, so why everything is so prosperous.

Family harmony, that is, being kind to the family, requires us to practice all our lives.


attitude towards family

because in front of the family, will take off all the camouflage, mask, show the true side of a person.

A new colleague, Xiao Zhang, came a few months ago. He is humble and courteous to his colleagues, patient and courteous to his clients, and works diligently. Gradually gain the trust of colleagues, when there is a good project busy, will also be introduced to him.

however, later on, some small things made people have a new understanding of him.

once, the company organized a dinner, which could be attended by family members. Xiao Zhang is also busy, helping Zhang Luo to order food for everyone, treating everyone very warmly and carefully.

when everyone was drinking happily, Xiao Zhang's wife was afraid that he would drink too much, so she said a few more words. And he quickly pulled down his face and reprimanded, "Why are you so annoying? stay out of my business." A woman's family is just long-winded, so you can go first. "

although the voice is low, I can feel the awkward atmosphere. But he turned around and immediately laughed and chatted with his colleagues.

on another occasion, he had a pleasant face when he called the customer one second ago. The next second, when his family called, he looked impatient:

"what's the matter with you? Nothing like this can be solved. What else can you do? "

"it's not good to take care of the children, but they are very active when asking for money."

listen to colleagues dumbfounded, no matter how much pressure, such a family, it is really chilling.

later, I heard from a colleague that for a period of time they wanted a divorce and asked her to pay him for mental damage.

look at the true face of a person, not only his performance in front of others, but also his state in front of his family.

teacher Zhang Defen once said:

A person speaks ill of his family, and no matter how flattering he is to outsiders, his character needs to be studied.

A person's self-cultivation is hidden behind his attitude towards his family.


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Don't leave the bad mood to the person closest to you

someone in Zhihu asks:

there is a high praise:

but the reality is often the opposite. they are warm and patient towards strangers, but speak ill of each other to their families.

in the novel Fortress besieged, the marriage between Fang Hung-chien and Sun Jou-chia was aggrieved because they were not favored by the two families, but there was nowhere to vent.

they have no choice but to take it out on each other.

it's not good to lose your temper with your wife, but Fang Hung-chien sums up the following advantages:

because you don't have to pay too much for losing your temper with your family, you tend to vent your feelings at will without reservation.

after Fang Hung-chien lost his job, Sun Jou-chia wanted her aunt to introduce her to her husband, but Fang Hung-chien didn't appreciate it. Fang Hung-chien laughed at her for relying on her relatives to find a job and scolded her: "he is a relative's pug."

Sun Jou-chia did not show weakness, but she ridiculed Fang Hung-chien for being incompetent and tempered, calling him "the lackey of his friend Chao Hsin-mei."

scolding was not enough, so she directly tore and roared: "coward!" Coward! Coward! Don't let me see you coward! " She still felt that it was not hard enough, so she grabbed a comb and threw it at him.

A quick mouth and bad words vent hatred, which finally put the relationship between the two into a crisis.

I have read such a sentence:

vent your emotions at will, although it will be calm after that, but it will always leave a trace.

the words that slander your family are only for the moment, but they don't mean you won't get hurt. Don't wait until you're estranged before it's too late to repent.

Home is a place to talk about love, not an emotional dump.

Please don't leave the worst mood to your family.


Family harmony is the best feng shui in a family.

Zhou Guoping said:

it's an instinct to lose your temper, and it's an ability to hold it down.

No matter how much pressure there is outside, it is a rare accomplishment for a person to keep a pleasant face in the face of his family.

host Li Jing told the story of her own business.

when she resigned from CCTV to start a business, she lived a miserable life because of her lack of experience.

Li Jing recalled:

at that time, she pulled around for investment with millions of debts every day, drinking and socializing with advertisers. Then, I rushed back to the company for a meeting to catch up with program planning and production.

in the early days of starting a business, life was very difficult. She also got drunk several times and burst into tears.

but she never brings the stress outside home. Instead, dry your tears at the door, adjust your mood, and then walk into the house.

she enters the house in a different way, dealing with negative emotions outside the door in advance. What it brings to the family is harmony and peace.

nowadays, Li Jing is a female entrepreneur worth hundreds of millions, but no matter how busy she is at work, she still sets aside one day a week to reunite with her family.

the best way to treat your family is to leave your bad mood outside the door and go home in a good mood.

like this sentence:

leave a good temper to your family.In order to let the family live in harmony.

Zeng Guofan once said:

Fudi Fu inhabited, blessed living place.

A harmonious family is not only a haven for everyone to rest, but also brings prosperity to the family.

in fact, being kind to your family is the best feng shui for a family.


Please be kind to your family for the rest of your life

in the Analects of Confucius, Zi Xia once asked Confucius, "what is filial piety?"

Confucius' answer is: "Color is difficult."

the hardest thing in life is to be kind to the people closest to you.

everyone grows up in a different environment, which makes them have different personalities and tempers.

it's hard to avoid getting hurt when you're growing up, but it's not an excuse to blame your family.

No matter what life does to us, we should cultivate ourselves and respond to our families with smiling faces.

Hu Shi once said:

truly educated people know how to leave good moods and attitudes to their families.

to treat your family kindly is the best upbringing.

Life is long and short. May you and I treat our family with a pleasant face and get along gently.