A family without a sense of ceremony cannot raise a happy child.

/June 2022


A sense of ritual makes children feel happier

there was a TED speech entitled "Father-daughter relationship, one shot a year" on the Internet. The speaker was photographer Stephen Adis.

every year on her daughter's birthday, Adis takes her to 57th Avenue in New York and poses for photos in the same place.

it turns out that on his daughter's first birthday, father and daughter were visiting New York and took a group photo. I happened to go to New York the next year, so I had a second picture.

just before his daughter's third birthday, he decided to take a father-daughter trip to continue the ceremony.

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this persistence is 15 years.

Adis said that this little parent-child ceremony is of great significance. This process makes him feel more and more valuable.

this is also the most cherished and anticipated time of the year for my daughter. Now she even remembers the feeling of taking pictures when she was 5 years old.

she said that there was a very beautiful red shed in the nearby store. When her father held her in his arms to take a picture, his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

New York has so many good memories that she decided to go to college in that city in the future.

A small sense of ritual is full of father's love for his daughter.

in the 15 photos shared, you can see how happy the cherished child is by looking at my daughter's sunny smile.

writer Lin naked said:

this is indeed the case.

I remember that a friend who was studying abroad once said that whenever she was homesick, she would cook herself a bowl of poached egg noodles.

because my mother would make a bowl of this kind of noodles for her every birthday when she was a child.

A bowl of steaming noodles with a few wisps of scallions will make her smell happiness immediately.

that bowl of noodles with a sense of ritual represents the warmth of family affection, attaching importance to and being loved. It was the best happy time at the beginning of my life.

A social survey found that traditional family rituals are far more likely to bring children happiness than material gratification.

because of the sense of ritual, it can bring children the sense of security to be cared about.

even if it is very simple, it permeates every detail of life and becomes a huge force like a tower, enough to support a person's life.


having a sense of ritual is the best way to enrich children

German writer Loreleis said in his book Why We need rituals: behind the sense of ritual

reflects the love of life and respect.

do not need much material basis, a rich breakfast, a bouquet of flowers on the windowsill, a little bit of small things, can give a sense of ritual to life.

A family full of rituals can make children feel the warmth and joy of home, which is also a kind of spiritual nourishment.

on the headlines, there is a very popular housewife who shares her daily life on the Internet every day.

on her child's birthday, she sews their favorite cartoon characters by hand and writes blessings on her homemade cards.

the moment the child received the gift, he was jubilant and his eyes sparkled, which made people smile.

Daily meals are also full of rituals: spread a flat mat, raise a bunch of Eucalyptus with water, and order an aromatherapy.

the children watched their mother's every move and spontaneously helped set up the plate, carefully and attentively.

on Mother's Day, she will dress up for her children, prepare flowers and small gifts, and visit her grandmother together.

the two children are like two happy birds, twittering in their grandma's arms, and the family is laughing.

A simple life is full of luck everywhere.

Wang Xiaobo said:

A small sense of ritual makes life really become life, not survival.

to love and know how to live is to give children the best nourishment.

Let children get used to beauty and happiness from an early age, and be full of kindness and expectation to life.

I quite agree with the passage of the writer Mai Jiao:

"what kind of rituals you give your child, what values he will get from it."

celebrate your child's birthday and tell him that when he is one year older, it will be better than before, so that he will have a greater sense of mission about his life.

accompany the child to attend the school's parent-child sports meeting and report the performance. let him have more confidence and identity in himself;

Let the children send blessings to their parents and teachers on Father's Day, Mother's Day and teacher's Day, so that children know how to be grateful. "

for children, a little bit of beauty in life will leave a touch of light in their hearts, and in the precipitation of time, they will gradually become rich, positive and warm.


in families with a sense of ritual, children know more about love

A netizen once shared a story on the Internet, which was very moving:

the netizen's father was a train driver who ran around the railway lines all the year round and seldom went home. But the family is not estranged.

their family lives on the edge of the railway. every time their father's train is about to pass by, there will be three sirens, and the mother will clean up the children in advance and wave them desperately in front of the window.

netizens said that this was the warmest memory of his childhood and made him believe in love all the time. Now that he has a family, he never neglects the emotional connection of his family.

even if his wife and children laugh at his hypocrisy, they will give them a good morning kiss every day. No matter how busy they are, they will take their children out every winter and summer vacation.

Family rituals have a strong sense of cohesion, making members feel the love of home, feel a sense of belonging, and get closer to each other.

sonTeacher Yin Jianli, a child educator, once told a short story about his daughter Yuanyuan.

when Yuanyuan was small, they would give her a present every Christmas and tell her that it was from Santa Claus.

Yuanyuan is very happy every time.

even though she later learned that the story was fictional, she still cooperated to receive gifts and enjoy all kinds of small surprises brought to her by her parents.

when you grow up, Yuan Yuan gradually has the ability to create happiness:

Yin Jianli says:

Let children know that their parents' love exists, and their hearts will be extremely confident and full of sense of security.

when you feel a lot of love in childhood, you won't spend your whole life looking for it; you won't know how to replicate love and give love if you have enough love.

as a Western proverb goes:

has the ability to love, a child can really grow up.


there is a topic on Zhihu: why does life need a sense of ritual?

there is an interesting answer:

in real life, making life boring and tasteless is due to the lack of ritual.

Spring, summer, autumn and winter, 24 solar terms of the year, is the ritual sense of nature, a variety of holidays, is the ritual sense of the country.

imagine, why can't you have a sense of ritual?

Children's physical and mental growth needs a certain sense of rituality. in this little ceremony, they are provided with the "nutrition" that their hearts need most: a sense of existence, sense of security, and happiness.

parents give their children a ceremony not only on a special day, but also a hug before going out every day and a good night before going to bed.

these seemingly small things will become the warmest experiences and best memories of children.

in the future, no matter what the circumstances may be, they will be able to live a rich and interesting life with expectations.

because they know that life is important and they deserve it.