32 choking jokes, I feel much more energetic after reading it.

A lot of people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

01

Life is like a pencil. It is sharp at first, but slowly becomes smooth.

but when it's too smooth, it's almost time to get slashed again.

-- Life and pencils

02

I heard that every Chinese touched his mobile phone 150 times a day on average. I smiled: how is that possible?

just once, pick it up when you wake up and put it down before you go to bed.

-- netizens say

03

busy is busy, busy is fat, overworked and fat, so sad.

-- do you have the same sadness?

04

southerners think that the north is not hot in summer, and northerners think that the south is not cold in winter.

the deepest estrangement in the world is that you are in the south and I am in the north.

05

80% of the pain in life comes from going to work, but I know that if I don't go to work, 100% of my pain comes from having no money, so I choose to go to work between going to work and having no money.

-- moving bricks makes me happy

06

those who have money and face are called male gods, those who have money but no face are called husbands, those who have face but no money are called Lan Yan, as for those who have no money and no face. I'm sorry. You're a good man.

-Don't be a good person

07

the purpose of Friday is to plan how to spend the weekend.

the meaning of weekends is to prove that Friday's planning is meaningless by staying up late and getting up late.

-- Mutual confirmation

08

eat half of eating and other dishes, bathing and washing half of waiting for water, watching videos, watching half of ads, chatting half and so on reply.

-- the four difficult moments of life

09

A person comes across and is called love. A car came from the opposite side and it was called a car accident.

it's a pity that cars always collide with cars, and people always give way to each other.

-- the movie "Massage"

10

thinking about life, constipation, no paper, Wi-Fi.

-there are four possibilities for not going to the bathroom for a long time

11

the biggest difference between people and people is that when you get off the elevator after shopping, you press the first floor and everyone else presses B1.

-this is the difference between rich and poor. Ah, what a painful realization

12

lose weight for ten years and eat fat for three minutes. Ten years of love, three minutes of breakup.

Ten years of hard work, forget three minutes. It takes ten years to recharge, but it takes three minutes.

whitening takes ten years and blackens for three minutes. Ten years of hard work takes three minutes to earn money.

-have you experienced both ten years of work and three minutes?

13

every time I go to the ATM to withdraw 100 yuan, the sound of counting money seems to give me tens of thousands of yuan.

-- A lot of people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

-- gripping and realistic

15

comparing salary is an unhappy shortcut.

-Don't ask others how much money they earn

16

Men's "five minutes to get home" and women's "five minutes to go out" actually mean the same thing.

-- the so-called "five minutes"

17

anything expensive but expensive is fine.

what is cheap is not good except cheap.

-- alternative law of value

18

the palace is so lonely.

it's hard to fight.

here comes my friend. Goodbye, my friend.

miss my hometown (relatives and friends) so much.

Spring (summer, autumn, winter) is coming (end), so happy (sad).

-- netizens' summary of the three hundred Tang Poems basically tells these things

19

places outside the bed and places out of reach are far away.

-after getting into bed, it is the most difficult thing to get out of bed and turn off the lights

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20

you secretly baked oil.

-- "Friends" for middle-aged people

21

if men have private money, they can hide it in the stock market to make sure that no one will find it, because you don't even know where the money is going.

-- looming in the (stock) market

22  this is the "weight" of talent.

-standing on the scale every day and looking at the numbers above, I will say to myself

23

it's better to say "no" than "hurry up".

when bargaining, saying "see again" is a little cheaper than "cheaper".

saying "you go" is more useful than "don't do this" when you ask to stay.

-speaking is a science. Have you ever said the same thing?

24

everyone can't look up when they see me.

-- the feeling of being short

25

"which girl is the most beautiful?"

"the girls in the moments are the prettiest."

-- the present situation of beautiful girls in contemporary China

26

2000 yuan can go for a poor trip abroad: Qin, Lu, Qi, Shu, South Korea, Zheng, Wei, Chu, Zhao, Yan, Wu and so on..

-- A guide to poor travel

27

nothing. I'll hang up first.

-- Contemporary "epitaph"

28

Women and men are like stocks. When they buy stocks, they keep falling, and their weaknesses and shortcomings that they could not see before are exposed. Once thrown out, they become so cute in the hands of others.

-- Women and men comment on each other

29

my mother made me furious. I didn't like taking pictures. She forced me to go, took pictures of me, and then sent me to moments.

-International Children's Day, a 10-year-old girl, writes a diary and complains about

30

every time she bargains, as long as she can cut it down, she feels that she has been fooled.

--

the happiness of 20 years old is stir-fried, eating raw and fierce.

the happiness of 30 years old is already braised, eating aftertaste.

as for the future, it is the Buddha jumping over the wall with mixed flavor and long-lasting fragrance.

-- Xu Yi's "the taste of the old days"